Islam: Questions And Answers - Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings: Transactions - Part 4

ISLAM: QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings: Transactions - Part 4 Volume 25 of a Series of Islamic Books by Muhammad Saed Abdul-Rahman

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Islam: Questions And Answers Volume 25 Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings: Transactions - Part 4

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Islam: Questions And Answers Volume 25 Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings: Transactions - Part 4

Muhammad Saed Abdul-Rahman B.Sc., DipHE

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© Muhammad Saed Abdul-Rahman, 2004 ISBN for all volumes 1 86179 080 5 ISBN for volume 25 paperback 1 86179 444 4 ISBN for volume 25 hardback 1 86179 445 2 ISBN for volume 25 pdf eBook 1 86179 446 0 ISBN for volume 25 Microsoft eBook 1 86179 447 9 ISBN for volume 25 Palm eBook 1 86179 448 7 All Rights reserved

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data. A Catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Designed, Typeset and produced by: MSA Publication Limited, 4 Bello Close, Herne Hill, London SE24 9BW United Kingdom

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Contents Introduction .............................................................................. 1 Chapter 1................................................................................... 3

Transactions ........................................................... 3 Marriage: Invalid Marriages ............................................ 3 44549: Ruling on a Muslim woman marrying a Shi’i ......................................................................... 3 45663: Mut’ah marriage and ‘urfi marriage ............... 5 11515: Prohibition on quid-pro-quo marriage and its evil consequences ........................................... 8 22760: Do I have to obey my father in choosing a husband, and how can I make him more even-tempered? ........................................ 12 20738: Mut’ah marriage and refutation of those Raafidis who permit it .............................................. 15 26885: A Sikh girl wants to marry a Muslim man ... 21 26758: He wants to become Muslim in order to marry a Muslim woman ........................................... 24 22448: He committed adultery with a woman and she married someone else, and the adulterer wants to marry her .................................................... 27 12914: A Muslim woman wants to marry a kaafir ... 32 12467: Ruling on marriage contract with one who was not praying then Allaah guided him .......... 33 9072: Ruling on a Sunni woman marrying an Ismaili ....................................................................... 34 10077: Ruling on performing marriage contracts when one of the couple does not pray ...................... 36 8396: What is the punishment for a Muslim woman who marries a Christian man? ..................... 37 4458: Marriage to a married woman in order to get citizenship ...................................................... 39 7877: She got married without a walee and her husband refuses to repeat the marriage contract ...... 40 v

1373: Ruling on Mut’ah (temporary) marriage ........ 40 6595: A Christian woman who has fallen victim to a mut’ah marriage ................................................ 42 6153: Muslim man marrying a Qadiani (Ahmadi) woman who is of good character.............................. 45 5941: He married her unofficially then left her and went back to his homeland ................................ 45 3810: Her brother is going to marry a corrupt girl and his family want to deprive him of his inheritance ................................................................ 48 1825: Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men in the hope that they may become Muslim ....... 49 677: Ruling on marrying a woman who has no religion ..................................................................... 50 2285: Family problems because a Muslim woman wants to marry a Christian man ................... 51 2450: Ruling on proposing marriage to a girl who is already engaged ............................................ 53 2377: Temporary Marriage ....................................... 55 2126: Marrying without her father’s knowledge ...... 56 115: Ban on muslim women marrying kafir (unbeliever) .............................................................. 57 Chapter 2................................................................................. 59

Transactions ......................................................... 59 Marriage: Women Who are Forbidden for Marriage ................................................. 59 48954: Can he marry the daughter of his father’s wife? ......................................................................... 59 26202: It is not correct to draw an analogy between donating blood and breastfeeding to prove that someone is a mahram .............................. 59 33752: His half-sister from his father has a half-sister from her mother. Is it permissible for him to marry her? ............................................... 61 20884: Muslim man marrying a non-Muslim woman ...................................................................... 62 vi

34682: Is there such a thing as a temporary mahram? ................................................................... 66 26828: Does shaking hands with his fiancée’s mother with desire mean that he is not allowed to marry her daughter? ............................................. 68 22179: Marrying the sister of his ex-wife ................ 70 12298: Ruling on marrying a fifth wife during the ‘iddah following divorce of the fourth wife ....... 71 23435: Being married to a woman and her father’s ex-wife at the same time ............................. 74 10090: Can he kiss his seventy-year-old female cousin on the head? .................................................. 75 10177: He wants to marry the daughter of his sister’s husband ........................................................ 76 8442: Is it permissible to marry two sisters from one father at the same time? ............................ 77 2798: Can she marry her mother’s half-brother? ..... 78 1940: Wife and Husband’s Brother .......................... 79 105: Ruling on marrying cousins ............................. 81 Chapter 3................................................................................. 83

Transactions ......................................................... 83 Marriage: Mahram Relatives......................................... 83 40401: Is the wife of one’s son through breast feeding a mahram? ................................................... 83 45970: The husband’s father is a mahram for his son’s wife ............................................................ 84 33628: His relative is in jail and he sits with his wife and children in order to look after them ..... 86 21603: What is the khulwah that is forbidden? ........ 87 21599: It is not permissible for a shaykh to be alone with a non-mahram woman in order to recite ruqyah for her ................................................. 88 23302: Sitting with non-mahrams in complete hijab .......................................................................... 89 34791: Uncles of one’s parents are mahrams ........... 90 20755: The husband’s children are mahrams vii

for their father’s wife ................................................ 92 20750: Is the father of one’s ex-husband a mahram? ................................................................ 93 13728: Women appearing in front of men ................ 97 32455: A woman marrying her father’s maternal uncle ....................................................................... 100 10239: The wife of your wife’s father is not a mahram for you ...................................................... 101 21953: Should she wear hijab in front of her Christian maternal uncle? ....................................... 103 12837: Sitting with husband’s relatives and shaking hands with them ........................................ 107 20248: Is my husband a mahram for my brother’s daughter whom I brought up? ................. 111 13231: Ruling on observing hijaab in front of one’s son in law .................................................. 113 13257: Uncovering in front of the husband’s father through radaa’ah .......................................... 113 14333: This woman is not your mahram ................ 115 12335: Is one’s mother’s cousin considered to be a mahram? ......................................................... 116 7847: A Woman Does not Act as a Mahram for Another Woman ................................................ 116 6102: Should she cut off her ties with her adopted brother who has left Islam (is an apostate)? ...................................................... 118 5538: Who are the mahrams in front of whom a woman can uncover? .............................................. 119 4332: His grandfather’s daughter is also his paternal uncle’s wife............................................... 123 316: Prohibition of a woman travelling without a mahram, and conditions of a mahram ................. 124 2661: Ruling on marrying an uncle’s wife ............. 126 Chapter 4............................................................................... 128

Transactions ....................................................... 128 Marriage: Conditions of Marriage............................... 128 viii

43483: Obstacles to a Christian woman marrying a Muslim man ......................................... 128 48992: A new Muslimah has married a Muslim man without her family’s knowledge ..................... 136 45645: A realistic look at marriage to women of the People of the Book ....................................... 139 44695: Are the Jews and Christians who exist nowadays mushrikeen (polytheists) and is it permissible to marry their women? ........................ 143 12708: Is it acceptable to marry a girl who has not yet started her menses?..................................... 147 22760: Do I have to obey my father in choosing a husband, and how can I make him more even-tempered? ............................................. 150 40496: Ruling on marrying a women when she is menstruating ................................................. 153 22737: Announcing marriages ............................... 154 5333: Paying the girl’s dowry with her brother’s money ..................................................................... 154 26069: Marrying a second wife when one is not able to take care of two wives .......................... 158 7989: He married a woman without a guardian ..... 161 6402: A kaafir married a Muslim woman then he became Muslim ................................................. 165 21380: Ruling on a Muslim man marrying a non-Muslim woman and vice versa ....................... 168 30796: Should he get married without his father’s approval? ................................................... 171 22442: On acting; and the ruling on marrying young girls .............................................................. 173 13780: Marriage of a convert: must he marry someone of the same race? ..................................... 177 20227: Wants to marry Christian woman ............... 180 20213: She got married without her father’s approval .................................................................. 186 13501: An invalid marriage contract must be done again, even if ten years have passed .............. 189 ix

31119: She loves him and he treats her orphaned daughter kindly, but their families refuse to let them marry ............................................................. 190 21841: Does he have to marry his female relative whom he touched in a haraam manner? ................. 196 13808: Ruling on a woman marrying someone who attends Mawlid celebrations and practices some innovations .................................................... 197 21860: She stipulated the condition that if he married a second wife, that second wife would be divorced ............................................................. 200 21047: Why is it not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man................................. 202 22302: Women whom it is permissible to marry in some cases and not in others .............................. 203 13929: Her brother was her guardian for marriage because her father did not approve of the marriage, then he agreed one year later ........ 206 12630: The fact that the woman is older the man should not prevent them from getting married ................................................................... 211 12283: A Christian woman is asking whether her marriage to a Muslim is valid .......................... 212 8190: Guardianship over a woman’s marriage and wealth .............................................................. 217 6690: A person who does not believe in the Sunnah forfeits the right of guardianship ............... 219 3975: Marrying a non-Muslim woman in order to obtain settlement visa ......................................... 222 4569: She loves a man who is not a Sunni and wants to marry him ................................................. 222 8435: He claims to be a Muslim but he does not practise Islam at all; however, he is prepared to learn – can she marry him? ................................ 224 8412: Desirable qualities in a husband ................... 225 5964: He married a Christian girl in the presence of her kaafir brother ................................. 227 x

7193: The girl’s father disagrees with a marriage –what is the solution?.............................. 228 6491: How can she be sure of the Islam of a person whom she wants to marry? ......................... 232 6122: She got married in the mosque without her parents’ knowledge ........................................... 234 6942: Choosing a husband ..................................... 235 4602: Parents forcing their daughter into a marriage .................................................................. 236 4035: Husband and wife converted together; do they need to do a new marriage contract? ......... 238 2803: They want to conceal their marriage ............ 239 2256: Marriage according to sharee’ah but not the law of the land .................................................. 240 2527: Who are the women of the People of the Book whom Muslims are permitted to marry? ....... 241 2627: Committed zinaa with a non-Muslim woman who has now become Muslim, and he wants to marry her ............................................. 244 689: Muslim marrying a Catholic who doesn’t convert to Islam ...................................................... 247 649: Marriage after committing fornication (zinaa) ..................................................................... 248 2127: Conditions of walee (guardian) .................... 248 1018: Non-Muslim Proposing to Muslim Woman ................................................................... 252 1493: Ruling on marrying young women ............... 253 661: Marriage contract without witnesses must be repeated ............................................................. 256 389: Wali of Muslimah if her parents are kuffaar .................................................................... 257 1077: A man accepting Islam can remain married to Christian wife ....................................... 259 60: Woman’s right to refuse marriage to someone.................................................................. 261

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Transactions - Part 4

Introduction Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds, and peace and blessings be upon His last Messenger, Prophet Muhammad, and on his family and his companions. This book, Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings: Transactions - Part 4, is the twenty-fifth volume of a series of authoritative Islamic books entitled Islam: Questions And Answers. The overall series discusses issues relevant to Islam, and present accurate and reliable information based on the true beliefs and practices of the Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) and his companions. The objectives of the various books include: to teach and familiarize Muslims with various aspects of their religion to be a source for guiding people to Islam to assist in solving the social and personal problems of the Muslims in an Islamic context The books are directed towards Muslims and non-Muslims alike. Subject areas include, but are not limited to, Islamic fiqh and jurisprudence, Islamic history, Islamic social laws (including marriage, divorce, contracts, and inheritance), Islamic finance, basic tenets and aqeedah of the Islamic faith and tawheed, and Arabic grammar as it relates to the Qur'an and Islamic texts. The books are compilations of questions and responses about Islam, from both Muslims and Non-Muslims. The responses are handled mainly by internationally re-nowned Islamic shaykhs and scholars, including Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, Ibn Katheer, al-Albaani, Shaykh Ibn Baaz, Ibn al-Jawzi, Ibn al-Qayyim, Al‘Izz ibn ‘Abd al-Salaam, al-Nawawi, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem, al Khudayr, Al-Dhahabi, al-Qurtubi, Al-Sindi, al-Shawkaani and al-Bastawi using only authentic, scholarly sources based on the Qur'an and sunnah. References, which include Haashiyat Ibn Maajah, Sharh Saheeh Muslim, Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 1

Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings

Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Da’eefah, Al-Mawsoo’ah fi Ahaadeeth al-Mahdi al-Da’eefah wa’l-Mawdoo’ah, Al-Manaar al-Muneef and Fataawa Islamiyyah, are provided where appropriate in the responses. The book provides the reader with cross references of other pertinent responses not necessarily in the same volume, but also in other volumes of the series. However, each volume is complete in itself. The book records accurately the answers the contributing Sheikhs and scholars gave to the questions put to them. These are not necessarily the answers which other sheikhs and scholars would have given. Depending on circumstances, for example, Islam permits different solutions to some questions The book also provides the reader with cross-references to other pertinent responses not necessarily in the same volume, but also in other volumes of the series. However, each volume is complete in itself. It is intended that this present series of Books will cover the following subject areas (insha-Allah): Aqeedah (Basic Tenets of Faith); Usool ul-Fiqh (Science of evidence that serve as basis for Fiqh), Fiqh (Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings), Da'wah (Inviting others to Islam), Aadaab (Manners), Akhlaaq (Character and Morals), Tareekh wa ul Seerah (Islamic history and biography), Tarbiyyah (Pedagogy, education, and upbringing) and Mashakil Nafsiyah wa Ijtimaa'yah (Psychological & Social Problems). May Allah reward the owners and maintainers of www.islamqa.com for granting me full, exclusive, assignable and transferable rights to use and display all the questions and answers needed for the compilation of these books. May Allah grant everyone involved in the promotion of this project good in this world and the Hereafter and protection from the fire of hell.

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Chapter 1 Transactions Marriage: Invalid Marriages 44549: Ruling on a Muslim woman marrying a Shi’i Question: My cousin (daughter of my paternal uncle) is going to marry a Shi’i. What is the Islamic ruling on that? How can I persuade her not to go through with this marriage, knowing that her parents agree to it? Please advise me, may Allaah reward you with good. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The Standing Committee was asked the following question: We come from a tribe that lives on the northern borders [of Saudi Arabia], and we mix with tribes from Iraq who are idolatrous Shi’ah; they worship domes and call them al-Hasan and al-Husayn and ‘Ali. When one of them stands up he says. “O ‘Ali, O Husayn.” Some people from our tribe have intermarried with them and mix with them in all circumstances. We have tried to teach them but they do not listen. I do not have enough knowledge to teach them but I hate what they do, and I do not mix with them. I have heard that we cannot eat meat slaughtered by them, but these people eat their meat and do not care. We are asking you what are our obligations in this case? 3

Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings

Answer: Praise be to Allaah and blessings and peace be upon His Messenger and his family and companions. If the situation is as you describe – that they call upon ‘Ali, al-Hasan and al-Husayn, and so on – then they are mushrikeen who are guilty of major shirk, which puts them beyond the pale of Islam. It is not permissible for Muslim women to marry them, and it is not permissible for us to marry their women, or to eat meat slaughtered by them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember” [al-Baqarah 2:221] And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. From Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 2/264 You have to advise your uncle and cousin, and tell them about the fatwas of the scholars concerning this issue. If your uncle insists on marrying his daughter to a Shi’i, 4

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then refer the matter to the sharee’ah court to prevent this evil action. And Allaah knows best. See also question no. 4569. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 45663: Mut’ah marriage and ‘urfi marriage Question: I want to marry a Muslim girl, but in three years’ time, and I do not want to commit sin with her. I want to marry her in a ‘urfi marriage (a kind of marriage in which the nikaah is not registered officially or announced) or a mut’ah marriage until I can marry her in the shar’i manner later on. What should I do when I want to marry her in the shar’i manner after that? Because I fear Allaah and I do not want to fall into sin. This is the best and most permissible method, but Allaah knows best. What should I do?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The question is not clear. The brother’s words may be understood in more than one way with regard to his intention in the marriage contract about which he is asking. He says “ ‘urfi marriage” then he says “mut’ah”. It is known that there are two well-known forms of “ ‘urfi marriage”, and he could be asking about three kinds, so we will answer on the assumption that he is asking about all of them. 5

Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings

As for mut’ah marriage, which means marrying for a set time limit agreed upon by both parties, for a specified mahr (dowry), after which the marriage contract is annulled upon expiry of that time period – this is a haraam marriage contract which is not valid at all. This has already been discussed in the answers to questions no. 1373, 2377 and 6595. With regard to “ ‘urfi marriage” – there are two types of this: 1 – Where the woman is married in secret, without the agreement of her wali (guardian). If that is the case then it is a haraam marriage contract which is not valid, because the agreement of the wali is one of the conditions of the marriage contract being valid. In the answer to question no. 2127 you will find a summary of the conditions of marriage, and the conditions of the wali. In the answer to question no. 7989 there are more details about the importance of the wali in order for the marriage to be valid. 2 – Marriage with the agreement of the woman and her wali, but without announcing the marriage publicly, or registering it in the shar’i or civil courts, but there are witnesses. If this is the case, then it is a valid marriage from the point of view of having met the necessary conditions, but it goes against the Islamic command to publicize the marriage. Not having the marriage officially documented may lead to the wife losing out on her rights with regard to the dowry and inheritance, and if the marriage leads to children, how will this child be recorded in official documents? How will the woman defend her honour before people? It should also be noted that some of the fuqaha’ say that publicizing the marriage is one of the conditions of it being 6

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valid, which is not far from the truth. They gave as the reason for that the fact that publicizing the marriage demonstrates the difference between marriage and immoral relationships. This is supported by the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “The difference between what is halaal and what is haraam is beating the daff and raising the voice at weddings.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1088; al-Nasaa’i, 3369; Ibn Maajah, 1896. Classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1994 Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: There is no doubt that a marriage which is announced publicly is valid, even if it is not witnessed by two witnesses, but if it is concealed and kept secret, this is a matter concerning which there is some debate. If there are witnesses and it is also announced publicly, this is the marriage concerning which there is no dispute that it is valid. If there are no witnesses and it is not announced publicly, then it is invalid according to all scholars. But if there are any scholars who dispute this, they are very few. Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/191 Ibn al-Qayyim said: The Lawgiver has stipulated four conditions for marriage in addition to the marriage contract, in order for there to be no suspicion of immoral conduct: it should be publicized, there should be a wali (woman’s guardian), the woman should not do the marriage contract herself and it is mustahabb to beat the daff and raise voices (in song) and give a waleemah (wedding feast), because that does away with the means that may lead to immoral actions under the guise of being married. I’laam al-Muwaqqi’een, 3/113 7

Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings

i.e., if marriage is done in secret, it is possible that if the woman gets pregnant and gives birth, the man may deny this child because there is no proof that this woman is his wife and this child is his child. But if there are witnesses and the marriage is publicized, there is no room for this evil action to take place. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 11515: Prohibition on quid-pro-quo marriage and its evil consequences Question: Two men agreed that each of them would give his sister in marriage to the other. What is the ruling on this marriage?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This marriage is known in Arabic as nikaah al-shighaar (quid-pro-quo marriage). It is haraam and was forbidden by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Nikaah al-shighaar refers to when a man gives his daughter, sister or other female relative whose guardian he is in marriage on the basis that the other man will give him a female relative in marriage, or will let his son or nephew marry his daughter, sister or niece, and so on. The marriage contract done on this basis is invalid, whether a mahr is stated or not, because the Messenger 8

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(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade that and warned against it. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad) gives you, take it; and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it)” [al-Hashr 59:7] In al-Saheehayn it is narrated from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade shighaar. In Saheeh Muslim (1416) it is narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade shighaar. Ibn Numayr added: Shighaar means when a man says to another: “Give me your daughter in marriage and I will give you my daughter in marriage, or give me your sister in marriage and I will give you my sister in marriage.” And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no shighaar in Islam.” Narrated by Muslim, 1415. These saheeh ahaadeeth indicate that nikaah al-shighaar is haraam and invalid, and that it goes against the laws of Allaah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not differentiate between that in which a mahr is mentioned and that in which no mahr is mentioned. With regard to what was narrated in the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar, explaining shighaar as being when one man gives his daughter in marriage to another on the basis that he (the latter) will give him (the former) his daughter in marriage with no dowry (mahr) between them – the scholars have stated that these are the words of Naafi’, 9

Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings

the narrator who transmitted it from Ibn ‘Umar, and are not the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained it as narrated in the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah quoted above, as being when a man gives his daughter or sister in marriage on the basis that the other man will give him his daughter or sister in marriage. He did not say, “with no dowry between them.” This indicates that whether there a dowry is mentioned or not has no effect on that. Rather the factor that determines that this marriage contract is invalid is the idea of exchange or reciprocity. That leads to a great deal of corruption, because it may lead to women being forced to marry people they have no desire to marry, and giving precedence to the interests of guardians over the interests of women. This is an evil thing and injustice towards women. It also deprives women of the dowries that their peers receive, as happens among those who engage in this wrongful contract, except those whom Allaah wills. It also leads to a great deal of arguments and disputes after marriage; this is an example of the immediate punishment (in this world) for those who go against sharee’ah. Ahmad (16414) and Abu Dawood (2075) narrated with a saheeh isnaad from ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Hormuz that al-‘Abbaas ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas gave his daughter in marriage to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn al-Hakam, and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan gave his daughter to him in marriage, and each of them gave a dowry. Mu’aawiyah ibn Abi Sufyaan, who was the caliph, wrote to Marwaan ordering him to separate them, and he said in his letter: “This is the shighaar which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade.” This incident which took place at the time of the caliph Mu’aawiyah clearly shows us what was meant by the 10

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shighaar that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade in the hadeeths quoted above, and demonstrates that mentioning a dowry does not make the marriage valid or alter the fact that it is shighaar, because al-‘Abbaas ibn ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn al-Hakam both mentioned a dowry, but Mu’aawiyah (may Allaah be pleased with him) did not pay any attention to that, and he ordered that they be separated and said: “This is the shighaar which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade.” Mu’aawiyah (may Allaah be pleased with him) had a better knowledge of the Arabic language and the meanings of the hadeeths of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) than Naafi’, the freed slave of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them all). With regard to the solution for one who has become involved in a shighaar marriage and who loves his wife and his wife loves him, the answer is for them to do a new marriage contract with a wali (guardian) and a new mahr, and with two witnesses of good character. In this manner they will have done what is required of them and the wife will become permissible (for the husband). They must also repent to Allaah for what happened before, and if they have children, they are to be attributed to the father because they thought that the marriage was valid. But if the husband does not love the wife or vice versa, then he has to divorce her with one talaaq, which will be a revocable divorce, and she will have the right to marry someone else once her ‘iddah is over. If the husband wants to take her back, then he may do so with a new marriage contract, if she wants to go back, in which case there are two divorces left, and there is nothing wrong with him marrying her anew during the ‘iddah period. From Hukm Nikaah al-Shighaar by Shaykh ;Abd al‘Azeez ibn Baaz. (www.islam-qa.com) 11

Jurisprudence and Islamic Rulings

22760: Do I have to obey my father in choosing a husband, and how can I make him more even-tempered? Question: I have a question about marriage, my father believes that being Bengali, he’s daughters should only get married to a Bengali man, the thing is, my dad likes to be a pillar of society and likes to have control over everything we do, Can you give me proof that it is ok for the daughters to choose who they get married to, despite whether they are Pakistani, Indian or Bengali, as long as he is good in terms of religion and suitability, my father believes that girl’s haven’t got the right to choos who they get married to, only he does, but I think the people he chooses are only chosen for the fact that they will give him a good name and because he they are Bengali. Is it possible for the girl to make her own choice in terms of who she gets married to if she finds a suitabaly compatible, religious and good man of a different nationality with similar status and wealth, even if her dad doesn’t like him because of his nationality? Also my father is very controlling, picking and choosing what he wishes to believe in terms of religion, he likes to show off his wealth and power and build his name, can you give me any supplications which will help to make him a more mild mannered and diplomatic man? I would be very grateful if you could help me in this matter. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: The presence of the wali (guardian) is one of the 12

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conditions of marriage, and a woman’s marriage is not valid unless this condition is met. This is the correct view and is the view of the majority of scholars. See question no. 2127. The person who has the most right to be a woman’s guardian is her father, but if it is proven that he is not qualified for this role then it moves to the next closest relative, such as her grandfather for example. For more information on this issue, with evidence, please see question no. 7193 and 31119. Secondly: With regard to the conditions and qualities that should be present in the husband, the most important of these is religious commitment. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry [your daughter or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that there will be fitnah (tribulation) on earth and much corruption.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1005) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1084. See also question no. 6942 and 5202. Thirdly: One of the shar’i conditions of marriage is the consent of the wife, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “A previously-married woman should not be married without consulting her and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how does she give her permission?” He said, “If she remains silent.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4741; Muslim, 2543.

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No one has the right to force a girl to marry anyone, but at the same time she does not have the right to get married without her guardian’s permission. The presence of the guardian is an important condition for a marriage to be valid, but a girl should not be forced into marrying someone who she does not want to marry, and she is not regarded as disobeying her parents in this case. Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said: “The parents do not have the right to force their son to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient, like eating something that he does not want.” Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 344 Fourthly: With regard to your father and the way he is, we offer the following advice: (i) Make du’aa’ for him in his absence. There is no specific du’aa’, so pray to Allaah to reform him and open his heart. (ii) Seek the help of some of your father’s friends or relatives whom you trust to try to change him. (iii) Give him some books or tapes in your language that will encourage him to have a good attitude and warn him against the opposite, and give them as a gift using a good approach when you do so. Allaah may make this a cause of his reforming. We ask Allaah to help you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)

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20738: Mut’ah marriage and refutation of those Raafidis who permit it Question: Could you please tell if there is such a concept as ‘temporary marriages’in islam. I would like to know because a friend of mine has read a book by professor Abui Qasim Gourgi and is under the impression that if they are already married it is okay for them to do muta(the name for a temporary marriage according to islamic shariah). His definition for a temporary marriage is that if you like someone it is okay for you to have your nikah read with them for a short period of time. Please could you tell me more about the issue of muta and which schools of thought believe in such an idea (could you support your answer using references from ahadith and quran). Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Mut’ah or temporary marriage refers to when a man marries a woman for a specific length of time in return for a particular amount of money. The basic principle concerning marriage is that it should be ongoing and permanent. Temporary marriage – i.e., mut’ah marriage – was permitted at the beginning of Islam, then it was abrogated and became haraam until the Day of Judgement. It was narrated from ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade mut’ah marriage and the 15

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meat of domestic donkeys at the time of Khaybar. According to another report, he forbade mut’ah marriage at the time of Khaybar and he forbade the meat of tame donkeys. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3979; Muslim, 1407. It was narrated from al-Rabee’ ibn Sabrah al-Juhani that his father told him that he was with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said, “O people, I used to allow you to engage in mut’ah marriages, but now Allaah has forbidden that until the Day of Resurrection, so whoever has any wives in a mut’ah marriage, he should let her go and do not take anything of the (money) you have given them.” Narrated by Muslim, 1406. Allaah has made marriage one of His signs which calls us to think and ponder. He has created love and compassion between the spouses, and has made the wife a source of tranquility for the husband. He encouraged us to have children and decreed that a woman should wait out the ‘iddah period and may inherit. None of that exists in this haraam form of marriage. A woman who is married in a mut’ah marriage, according to the Raafidis – i.e. the Shi’ah, who are the ones who say that this is permissible – is neither a wife nor a concubine. But Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame; But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors” [al-Mu’minoon 23:5-7] 16

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The Raafidis quote invalid evidence to support their argument that mut’ah is permissible. For example: (a) They quote the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “…so with those of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed…” [al-Nisa’ 4:24] They say: this verse indicates that mut’ah is permissible, and the word ‘their mahr (ujoorahunna – lit. their dues or their wages)’ is evidence that what is meant by the phrase ‘you have enjoyed sexual relations’ is mut’ah. The refutation of this is the fact that prior to this Allaah mentions the women whom a man is forbidden to marry, then he mentions what is permissible for him, and He commands the man to give to the woman he marries her mahr. The joy of marriage is expressed here by the word enjoyment (‘of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations’). A similar instance occurs in the Sunnah, in the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah according to which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Woman is like a bent rib, if you try to straighten her you will break her. If you want to enjoy her, then enjoy her while she still has some crookedness in her.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4889; Muslim, 1468. The mahr is referred to here as ajr (lit. dues or wages), but this does not refer to the money which is paid to the woman with whom he engages in mut’ah in the contract of mut’ah. The mahr is referred to as ajr elsewhere in the Book of Allaah, where Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 17

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“O Prophet (Muhammad)! Verily, We have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid their Mahr (bridalmoney given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)…” [al-Ahzaab 33:50] Thus it becomes clear that there is no evidence in this verse to suggest that mut’ah is permissible. Even if we were to say for argument’s sake that this verse indicates that mut’ah is permitted, we would still say that it is abrogated by the reports in the saheeh Sunnah which prove that mut’ah is forbidden until the Day of Resurrection. (b) The reports that some of the Sahaabah regarded it as being permissible, especially Ibn ‘Abbaas. The refutation here is the fact that the Raafidis are following their own whims and desires, because they regard the companions of the Prophet (may Allaah be pleased with them) as kaafirs, then you see them quoting their actions as permissible in this instance and in others. With regard to those who said that it is permissible, they are among those who did not hear that it had been forbidden. The Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) – including ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib and ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Zubayr – refuted Ibn ‘Abbaas’s view that mut’ah was permitted. It was narrated from ‘Ali that he heard Ibn ‘Abbaas permitting mut’ah marriage, and he said, “Wait a minute, O Ibn ‘Abbaas, for the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade it on the day of Khaybar and (he also forbade) the meat of tame donkeys.” Narrated by Muslim, 1407. 18

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For more information see Questions no. 1373, 2377, 6595. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 8015: A Muslim is in love with a Hindu girl and wants to marry her Question: I have a muslim friend who is in love with a hindu girl.his family being orthodox wont accept this.would it be a sin if i help my friend in getting married with that girl?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for a Muslim to marry any nonMuslim woman unless she is one of the people of the Book, i.e., a Jewish or Christian woman. If he does that then his marriage is invalid; that is adultery, not marriage; and he is a sinner who is committing a major sin. The evidence for that is the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): “Made lawful to you this day are AtTayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when 19

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you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends” [al-Maa’idah 5:5] So Allaah has permitted the believing men to marry chaste believing women and chaste women from among the People of the Book. Imam al-Tabari said, commenting on this verse: “and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time” this means free woman from among those who were give the Scripture, i.e., the Jews and Christians who follow the Tawraat (Torah) and Injeel (Gospel). “Before your time” O believers in Muhammad from among the Arabs and all of mankind. You may marry them also “when you have given their due Mahr” i.e., when you give the mahr or dowry to those whom you marry from among your (Muslim) chaste women or their chaste women. Tafseer al-Tabari, 6/104 It is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry a Magian (Zoroastrian), Hindu, communist or idol-worshipping woman, etc. The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you…” [al-Baqarah 2:221] Based on this, it is not permissible for you to help him to 20

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disobey Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Help you one another in AlBirr and AtTaqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression” [al-Maa’idah 5:2] You should advise him to call her to Islam and explain to her that Allaah has forbidden him to marry her unless she becomes Muslim. If she becomes Muslim, then he can marry her, but if she insists on continuing to follow her religion, then he should fear Allaah and not marry her, and he should be patient in doing so; then Allaah will compensate him with something better, for “Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better.” We ask Allaah to guide us to the straight path and to keep us from slipping. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 26885: A Sikh girl wants to marry a Muslim man Question: hi my name is amandeep sidhu. i am not a muslim but i like a person who is muslim. he said he will get married to me. but he never did for some reason.i have a question for you that why can a sikh and a muslim get married? is it all wright for them to get married? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 21

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First of all, we thank you for your trust in this site. We feel that your sending this message is indicative of your openness to searching for the truth and not to cling blindly to that which you grew up with. This in itself is a blessing and we ask Allaah to complete it for you by bringing you to the truth which will bring you happiness in this world and in the Hereafter. In order to reach that point, we advise you to read about Islam on this website and to think about it, and to be sincere in your search for the truth. Ask the One Who created you from nothing to guide you to the correct path and the right religion. Note that human life cannot be good and proper without a correct religion to give life and that this human soul cannot be stable without a proper relationship with its creator, Allaah. Worship of Allaah is the spirit of life, without which there can be nothing but hardship and misery. With regard to your question about your getting married to a Muslim, if you embrace Islam and accept it as your religion – and this is what we ask Allaah to help you to do – then there is nothing to stop you from marrying him. Your guardian for the purpose of marriage should be your closest Muslim relative; if you have no Muslim relatives then your guardian should be the Muslim judge (qaadi) in the city in which you are living, or someone who is responsible for the Muslim community if there is no Muslim qaadi or sharee’ah court. You should note that Islamic law (sharee’ah) forbids a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man, no matter what his religion is, and it forbids a Muslim man to marry any non-Muslim woman apart from women of the People of the Book, namely Jews and Christians; no others are allowed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah 22

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(idolatress), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember” [al-Baqarah 2:221] This verse makes clear the great wisdom behind this prohibition, which is to protect Muslim men and women from being influenced in religious matters. But because the man is the one who has the final say in the household, he is less likely to be influenced by his wife than in the opposite situation, hence he is permitted to marry a woman from among the People of the Book only [not from other religions], because their disbelief is less serious than that of others, in general, and because they are followers of a previous divine message, even though it has been distorted, so they are different from others. On this basis, it is not permissible for a Muslim to marry a Sikh woman unless she becomes Muslim. Our advice to you, to which we hope Allaah will open your heart, is that so long as this issue exists, you should make the most of it so that it will be a motive for you to enter Islam, especially since this Muslim man is following his religion. We hope that if you become Muslim, you and he will be able to help one another to be patient and steadfast, because after you become Muslim you will need someone to stand by your side and protect you from those who will not like the fact that you have become Muslim and have left the religion of your forefathers. This is how Allaah tests many of those who enter this pure monotheistic religion, so that it may be a motive for them 23

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to remain steadfast, and to show in reality whether they deserve this blessing or not. We ask Allaah to help you find the way to true happiness and to believe in it and adhere steadfastly to it, until it ultimately leads to Paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth. Please also see question no. 3023. Peace be upon those who follow true guidance. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 26758: He wants to become Muslim in order to marry a Muslim woman Question: I was told that if a person was to become a Muslim, to get married to a muslim girl for example, even if not truly out of faith, then it is still accepted by God. Since this way one more person is becoming a Muslim, and especially that his children would be Muslims instead of Christians for example. So what do u say about that? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The basis of faith is in the hearts, and so the intention plays a major role in Islamic sharee’ah. This is indicated in the hadeeth which the scholars regard as half of the religion of Islam, and with which many scholars begin their books, such as al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) in his Saheeh. He narrated that ‘Umar ibn alKhattab said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace 24

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and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Actions are but by intention and each person will have but that which he intended. So whoever migrated for some worldly purpose or for the sake of a woman whom he could marry, his migration was for the purpose that he intended.” (alBukhaari, 1). According to the version narrated by Muslim, “So whoever migrated for the sake of Allaah and His Messenger, his migration was for the sake of Allaah and His Messenger, and whoever migrated for some worldly purpose or for the sake of a woman whom he could marry, his migration was for the purpose that he intended.” (Muslim, 2530). Based on the above, this matter may be examined from two angles: The first has to do with the acceptance of this person’s Islam by Allaah. The hadeeth indicates that it will not be accepted if this (marrying a woman) is the only intention that he has and faith has not entered his heart. The second has to do with applying the rulings of Islam to him. If this person utters the Shahaadatayn and follows the teachings of Islam, and does not do anything that would nullify his Islam, then he should be treated like any other Muslim, and his marriage to this Muslim woman may be accepted. That is because we are commanded by sharee’ah to deal with people according to how they appear to be; we are not commanded to enquire into what is in their hearts. It says in the hadeeth of Abu Sa’eed alKhudri that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: I was not commanded to enquire into what is in people’s hearts or to find out their secrets.” (al-Bukhaari, 4004; Muslim, 1763). Perhaps if this person enters Islam, even if it is with this intention, he will look at the perfection of Islam and be encouraged to form a sincere intention, so he will become sincere towards Allaah and become a good Muslim, and Allaah will accept his Islam. Those who are in touch with 25

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this person can advise him to make sure that his intention is primarily to seek the pleasure of Allaah and to enter into Islam truly, and his marriage will then be a consequence or a means of his entering into the blessing of Islam, and not an aim in and of itself. This girl could make marriage to her a means of encouraging him to become Muslim, as happened in the case of Umm Sulaym (may Allaah be pleased with her) and her marriage to Abu Talhah (may Allaah be pleased with him). It was narrated that Anas said: “Abu Talhah married Umm Sulaym, and the dowry between them was Islam. Umm Sulaym had become Muslim before Abu Talhah. He proposed marriage to her and she said, ‘I have become Muslim; if you become Muslim I will marry you.’ So he became Muslim and that was the dowry between them.” (al-Nasaa’i, 3288; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Nasaa’i, 3133). With regard to the reason for accepting him – as mentioned in the question – being to increase the number of Muslims, this is not correct, because increasing the number of Muslims, even though this is something good and desirable, is not a reason for accepting anyone who claims to be a Muslim but does not really believe in Islam, because Islam is concerned with quality as well as quantity, it is not concerned only with quantity. One person who sincerely believes in the religion is better than a thousand who are lying about it. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

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22448: He committed adultery with a woman and she married someone else, and the adulterer wants to marry her Question: I am in a dilemma . I was contacted by a brother from my home (‘muslim’) country who had a relationship with a relative of mine (and he informed me of this just now as i had no knowledge of it beforehand) and he claims that they had zina and she may be expecting his baby soon. He was supposed to marry her soon. Recently she was married to someone else and she is here in XXX presently. The brother who contacted me was shocked when he returned from business trip and discovered this. He wishes for me to allow him to contact her, and I wish to advise him to forget her and to repent as she has been playing with him for past couple of years. She also played with me for a while before Allah guided me. I dont think any of the above-mentioned people are practising the deen, probably dont even pray. What would be the responsible and islamic thing for me to do - and should i consult any others? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Your question includes a number of serious issues, not just one problem. The details are as follows: 1 – The neglect of prayer on the part of your friend and your relative, who claim to be Muslims. This action is kufr. See Question no. 5208 and 2182. Indeed, you say that they do not practise Islam, and this is disaster upon

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disaster, kufr upon kufr. We seek refuge with Allaah from that. 2 – Falling into zina (fornication, adultery), which is forbidden in Islam, as is well known. It is forbidden even in the other divinely-revealed religions. 3 – Marrying an adulteress when she is pregnant as a result of zina. 4 – The adulterer seeking to marry an adulteress after she has gotten married to someone else. Which disaster should we begin with? Which question should we answer? Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah (there is no power and no strength except with Allaah). Let us start with the most serious: 1 – Kufr as a result of not praying and neglecting all the rituals of Islam. There is no doubt that kufr (disbelief) dooms one to enter Hell, Allaah says describing the mushrikeen and how they will answer concerning the reason why they entered Hell: “They will say: ‘We were not of those who used to offer the Salaah (prayers), Nor we used to feed AlMiskeen (the poor); And we used to talk falsehood (all that which Allaah hated) with vain talkers. And we used to belie the Day of Recompense, Until there came to us (the death) that is certain’” [al-Muddaththir 74:43-47 – interpretation of the meaning] 28

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Ibn Katheer said, commenting on this passage: “ ‘We were not of those who used to offer the Salaah (prayers)’ means ,we did not worship our Lord. ‘Nor we used to feed AlMiskeen (the poor)’ means, we did not show any kindness to His creation of our own kind (our fellow human beings). ‘And we used to talk falsehood (all that which Allaah hated) with vain talkers’ means, we used to speak of that of which we had no knowledge. Qutaadah said: (it means), everyone who went astray, we followed him. ‘And we used to belie the Day of Recompense’. Ibn Jareer said: we used to deny the Day of Recompense, of reward and punishment; we did not believe in reward, punishment or reckoning. ‘Until there came to us (the death) that is certain’ means death, as in the aayah, ‘And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)’ [al-Hijr 15:99].” But what you have to do is to advise them, establish proof against them and explain to them that what they are doing is destroying the most important pillar of Islam, so they must hasten to repent from neglecting the prayer and all the rituals of Islam. It is not permissible for you to turn a blind eye to one who neglects prayer under any circumstances. Start by advising and guiding him, then shun him and turn away from him, do not greet him, eat his food or sit with him, if that will do him some good. Make him aware of how great his sin is, so that perhaps he will turn back to his Lord and repent. 2 – Falling into zina (adultery) is a major sin. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a 29

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Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)” [al-Isra’ 15:32] The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “An adulterer, at the time he is committing illegal sexual intercourse is not a believer; and a drinker, at the time he imbibes an alcoholic drink is not a believer; and a thief, at the time of stealing, is not a believer. And a robber who robs (takes illegally something by force) while the people are looking at him, is not a believer at the time he is robbing (taking).” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 2475). It is a major sin, and the one who commits this sin is issued with a warning of a painful torment. It says in the great hadeeth about the Mi’raaj (Prophet’s ascent to the heavens): “… We went on, and we came to something like a Tannoor (a kind of baking oven, a pit usually claylined for baking bread).” I [the narrator] think he said, “In that oven there was much noise and voices.” He said, “We looked into it and found naked men and women, and a flame of fire was reaching up to them from underneath, and when it reached them, they cried loudly. I asked them [the two angels], ‘Who are these people?’… They [the two angels] said, ‘We will tell you… those naked men and women whom you saw in a structure resembling an oven, they are the adulterers and the adulteresses.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari in Baab Ithm al-Zunaah, no. 7047). Please see also Question no. 11195. 3 – With regard to the third question, which concerns 30

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marrying an adulteress when she is pregnant, it should be noted that “it is not permissible to marry an adulteress until she repents, and if a man wants to marry her, he must wait to make sure that she is not pregnant, which is shown by her having a menstrual period, before he can marry her. If it becomes apparent that she is pregnant, then it is not permissible for him to marry her until she has given birth…” (Fatwa of Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem – may Allaah have mercy on him. See alFataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/584) Based on that, marriage to this woman when she is pregnant from an adulterer is an invalid marriage, and the person who married her has to leave her at once, otherwise he is an adulterer and the hadd punishment for adultery must be carried out on him. But if he leaves her and she gives birth, and her womb becomes empty, and she repents sincerely, then it will be permissible for him to marry her, after he also repents. 4 – As for the first man – the adulterer – he must also repent to Allaah, and it is not permissible for him to marry her at all, for two reasons: (i) because they are bother adulterers, and marriage to adulterers is forbidden to believers. See Question no. 11195. (ii) Because of her relationship with another man. So he has to forget about her completely, and repent to Allaah from his serious sin. Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah al-‘Aliy al-‘Azeem (there is no power and no strength except with Allaah the Exalted, the Almighty). O Allaah, guide the misguided Muslims, and help us to turn back to You, O Most Merciful of those who show mercy. Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds. 31

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Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 12914: A Muslim woman wants to marry a kaafir Question: I was asked by a Muslim girl who is an american but had been divorced a few times and is off with the Muslim community. She wants to marry a non Muslim but who believes in God. How can I stop her as I know it is not permitted. She says if it is permitted for men, why is it not permitted for women. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permitted for a Muslim man to marry a mushrik woman, or for a Muslim woman to marry a mushrik man. There are no exceptions to this except for marriage to women of the People of the Book (Jews and Christians), if they are chaste. This is what is indicated by the evidence of the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and this is what the ummah is unanimously agreed upon. It is not permissible for us to oppose the ruling of Allaah with our reasoning. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed into a plain error” 32

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[al-Ahzaab 33:36] This woman has to fear Allaah. Whoever fears Allaah, Allaah will make a way out for him. She should also know that if she marries a non-Muslim man, even if he is one of the People of the Book, this marriage in unacceptable in Islam, rather it comes under the rulings on zinaa (fornication, adultery), because this is an invalid marriage contract. Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr (www.islam-qa.com) 12467: Ruling on marriage contract with one who was not praying then Allaah guided him Question: I wonder if you could please answer my question as it worries me alot. My husband didn’t pray at the time I got married, three years ago. Although shortly after marriage I convinced him to and he does now. I was wondering whether this marriage is null considering that at the time of the Nikkah, he didn’t pray. What can I do now? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about a marriage contract with one who was not praying then Allaah guided him. He said: If the wife, like the husband, was not praying at the time of the marriage contract, then the marriage is valid, but if she was praying then the contract must be renewed, because it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry 33

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a kaafir man, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al Mushrikoon (polytheists, pagans) till they believe (in Allaah Alone)” [al-Baqarah 2:221] This means that Muslim women should not marry them until they become Muslim, because Allaah says in Soorat al-Mumtahinah (interpretation of the meaning): “then if you ascertain that they [emigrant Muslim women] are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumatahanah 60:10] Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/242-243 (www.islam-qa.com) 9072: Ruling on a Sunni woman marrying an Ismaili Question: I have a question on which lifes of two people depends. I will appreciate deeply from my heart if you could answer this question. And i will be really gald if u keep my name confidential. A friend of mine very deeply loves this guy. Now the problem is the girl is sunni and the guy is ismaili. I would i to know if it is possible for them to get married or does their sects matter that much even though they are both muslim and belief in Allah? . Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 34

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It is not permissible for this woman to marry this Ismaili man, because the Ismailis are heretics who are beyond the pale of Islam. The scholars said concerning their madhhab (school of thought): “It is a way which outwardly is Raafidi but inwardly conceals pure kufr…” Ibn al-Jawzi said: “What they say is a denial of the Creator and of Prophethood and of the acts of worship, and denial of the resurrection. But they do not manifest this openly at the beginning. Rather they claim that Allaah is true and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah, and that the religion is true. But they say that these concepts have a hidden meaning which differs from the apparent meaning. Iblees has deceived them and has made their way attractive to them.” Similar rulings were applied to other groups besides the Ismailis who follow bid’ah and who were deemed to be kaafirs, such as the Nusayris and the Raafidis. So it is not permitted to marry any of them, or for them to marry any of the Muslims. It was narrated that Talhah ibn Musarrif (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “The women of the Raafidis should not be married, because they are apostates.” Shaykh al-Islam (Ibn Taymiyah) said in his discussion of the extreme views of the Raafidis and of the Nusayris and Ismailis concerning ‘Ali, that all of these kuffaar are worse kaafirs than the Jews and Christians. If one of them does not make an open display of that, then he is one of the munaafiqeen (hypocrites) who will be in the lowest level of Hell, and those who do make an open display of that are the worst of the kaafirs in kufr. And he said: it is not permitted to marry their women, because they are apostates and are the worst kind of apostates. 35

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Concerning the Nusayris he said: the scholars are agreed that it is not permitted to intermarry with them, or for a man to marry his female relative to one of them, or to marry one of their women. Mutawaatir reports from the righteous salaf indicate that it is forbidden for a Muslim woman from among Ahl alSunnah to marry someone from among the followers of bid’ah who has been judged to be a kaafir, and that this type of marriage is null and void. See Mawqif Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah min Ahl alAhwaa ‘wa’l-Bida’ by Dr. Ibraaheem al-Raheeli, 1/377380 And Al-Taqreeb bayna Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Shee’ah, by. Dr. al-Qaffaari, 1/152 On this basis, it is not permissible for this Muslim woman to marry this man, because he is not a Muslim, even if he claims to be, as was stated above concerning their madhhab. She should not continue thinking of this haraam matter. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 10077: Ruling on performing marriage contracts when one of the couple does not pray Question: I work as a registrar of marriages. I heard from some of those who I think to be knowledgeable that a marriage contract for a couple where one of the partners does not pray is null and void, and that it is not permissible to perform the marriage contract for them. Is this correct? 36

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What should I do if I am asked to do such a contract? Please advise me, may Allaah reward you. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If you know that one of the couple does not pray, then do not perform the marriage contract, because not praying is kufr. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his giving up prayer” (narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim in their Saheehs). And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The covenant that stands between us and them is salaah; whoever neglects it is guilty of kufr” (narrated by Imaam Ahmad and the fours authors of Sunan, with a saheeh isnaad). We ask Allaah to put the affairs of the Muslims right, and to guide those who have gone astray, for He is All-Hearing and Ever Near. Majmoo’ Fataawaa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 8, p. 396 (www.islam-qa.com) 8396: What is the punishment for a Muslim woman who marries a Christian man? Question: How is a woman to be punished if she marries a Christian? How often is it carried out and in what countries is it most common? 37

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir (non-Muslim), whether he is Jewish, Christian or an idolworshipper, because the man has authority over his wife, and it is not permissible for a kaafir to have authority over a Muslim woman. For Islam is the true religion and all other religions are false. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)” [al-Baqarah 2:221] “And never will Allaah grant to the disbelievers a way (to triumph) over the believers” [al-Nisaa’ 4:141] And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Islam should prevail and should not be prevailed over.” If a Muslim woman marries a kaafir when she knows the ruling, then she is a zaaniyah (adulteress), and her punishment is the punishment for adultery. If she was ignorant of the ruling then she is excused, but they must be separated, and there is no need for a divorce because the marriage is null and void. On this basis, the Muslim woman whom Allaah has honoured with Islam and her guardian must beware of that and must adhere to the limits set by Allaah, and they must feel proud of Islam. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Those who take disbelievers for Awliyaa’ (protectors or helpers or friends) instead of believers, do they seek 38

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honour, power and glory with them? Verily, then to Allaah belongs all honour, power and glory” [al-Nisaa’ 4:139] Written by Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Barraak (www.islam-qa.com) 4458: Marriage to a married woman in order to get citizenship Question: My question is in regard to marriage. My wife is married by paper to my brother so that he can get his citizenship. I am married to her Islamically. She is often worried that this is Haram and we have many discussions on this topic. We need a more clarifying answer to put this issue to rest, she is very worried. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If your marriage was contracted first and was done according to the conditions of sharee’ah, then she is your wife, and your brother’s marriage to her is invalid and does not count. He has to repent to Allaah from what he has done, and you and your wife also have to repent to Allaah if you helped him to do that. Let your wife rest assured that your marriage to her is valid so long as all the conditions required in sharee’ah were fulfilled. And Allaah is the guide to the Straight Path. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 39

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7877: She got married without a walee and her husband refuses to repeat the marriage contract Question: I was married about two months after becoming Muslim and at the time I did not know much about marrriage according to the Qur’an and Sunnah. So my husband (who is muslim) and I were married at a courthouse. I have since found out that I need a wali for my marriage to be valid, and that I should be married in the correct Islamic way. I have spoken to my husband about this and he does not want to do this. Is our marriage still valid? And if not, should I separate from him since he refuses this? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You must convince him to repeat the marriage contract with the proposal from the walee (guardian) and acceptance by the husband. Try to avoid him and keep away from him until the contract is redone, and Allaah is with those who are patient. See also Questions #s 2127 and 6122. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 1373: Ruling on Mut’ah (temporary) marriage Question: What is the ruling on mut’ah marriage? 40

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Mut’ah marriage means that a man marries a woman – either Muslim or from the people of the Book – and specifies how long the marriage will last, for example five days, or two months, or half a year, or many years. The beginning and end of the marriage are specified, and he pays her a small mahr (dowry), and after the specified time is over, the woman exits the marriage. This kind of marriage was permitted during the year of the Conquest of Makkah for three days, then it was disallowed and prohibited until the Day of Resurrection. This was reported by Muslim (1406). The wife is the one with whom one stays on a long-term basis, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… and live with them honourably …” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19], but in the case of mut’ah a man does not live with the woman for long. The wife is the one who is called a wife in sharee’ah, with whom the relationship is long-lasting. She is mentioned in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess, ¾ for then, they are free from blame” [alMu’minoon 23:6] – the latter (a slave whom one’s right hand possesses) is not a wife according to sharee’ah, because her stay is limited to a short time. The wife is the one who inherits from the husband, or from whom the husband inherits, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “In that which your wives leave, your share is a half if they have no child…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:12]. But the woman 41

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in a mut’ah marriage does not inherit, because she is not a wife, since she spends such a short time with the man. On these grounds, Mut’ah marriage is considered to be zinaa (adultery or fornication), even if both parties consent to it, and even if it lasts for a long time, and even if the man pays the woman a mahr. There is nothing that has been reported in sharee’ah that shows that it may be permitted, apart from the brief period when it was allowed during the year of the conquest of Makkah. That was because at that time there were so many people who has newly embraced Islam and there was the fear that they might become apostates, because they had been used to committing zinaa during the Jaahiliyyah. So this kind of marriage was permitted for them for three days, then it was made haraam until the Day of Resurrection, as was narrated by Muslim, 1406. From al-Lu’lu’ al-Makeen min Fataawa Fadeelat alShaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen, p. 41. (www.islam-qa.com) 6595: A Christian woman who has fallen victim to a mut’ah marriage Question: Hi, I’m a Christian and I am in a muta marrige with a muslim right now and when we discuss muta marriges he says he’s allowed to have sex if it was put in the “contract” I was just wondering is that true? If the female are unable to be touched then how is it that a guy can have sex. I guess I just don’t understand. What are the other things you can and can not do while in a muta marrige? 42

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We are very upset to hear about this incident in which you have been deceived and lied to, or have fallen victim to the ignorance of this evil man. The final ruling with regard to mut’ah marriage is that it is forbidden according to Islamic sharee’ah. This prohibition is the final ruling of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with regard to this matter. Imaam Muslim said in his Saheeh: Baab Nikaah al-Mut’ah wa bayaan annahu ubeeha thumma nusikha thumma ubeeha thumma nusikha wastaqarra tahreemuhu ilaa Yawn il-Qiyaamah (Chapter on Mut’ah marriage and the statement that it was permitted, then abrogated, then permitted, then abrogated, and this prohibition remains in effect until the Day of Resurrection). From Iyaas ibn Salamah from his father, who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave sanction for contracting temporary marriage (mut’ah) for three nights in the year of Awtaas [after the Battle of Humayn in 8 AH], then he forbade it.” (2499) From al-Rabee’ ibn Sabrah from his father: on the day of the Conquest (of Makkah) the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade temporary marriage (mut’ah) with women. (Saheeh Muslim, 2506) And also from him (may Allaah be pleased with him): that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade mut’ah and said: “It is forbidden from this day of yours until the Day of

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Resurrection, and whoever has given anything [as a dowry] should not take it back.” (Saheeh Muslim, 2509). From ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib: that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade temporary marriage to women and the flesh of donkeys at the time of Khaybar. This was narrated by al-Tirmidhi, who said: the hadeeth of ‘Ali is hasan saheeh and this is what was followed by the scholars among the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and others… this is also the view of al-Thawri, Ibn alMubaarak, al-Shaafa’i, Ahmad and Ishaaq. Sunan alTirmidhi, 1040. Either this man who has deceived you is an evil Raafidi who is following the religion of his community, who permit mut’ah marriages which are forbidden in Islam, or he is a corrupt Muslim who is taking advantage of the matter to fulfil his own desires, or he is ignorant and needs to be educated and advised. We thank you for sending this question to us and we would like to take this opportunity to invite you to Islam, the religion of truth, which came to protect people’s life, honour and wealth. You will find information on embracing Islam in the first sections on our web-page. We pray to Allaah to help you to do that which is good and to protect you from evil things and evil people. May Allaah bless the Chosen Prophet. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

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6153: Muslim man marrying a Qadiani (Ahmadi) woman who is of good character Question: I understand that ist alright for a Muslim male to marry a woman from the people of the book. But how about if a Muslim male wants to marry a Qadiani girl, who’s of a good character and personality? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Given that the Qadiani school of thought is a form of major Kufr (disbelief) which puts them beyond the pale of Islam [i.e., Qadianis are not Muslims – see Question 4060], it is not permissible to marry this woman, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [alMumtahinah 60:10] And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 5941: He married her unofficially then left her and went back to his homeland Question: Bismillah Al-Rahman Ir-Raheem,

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dear Sheikh, Allah (SWT) said: ”O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person, and from him He created his wife, and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allâh through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allâh is Ever an All-Watcher over you.” [4:1] Also Allah (SWT) said: ”O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allâh, even though it be against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, be he rich or poor, Allâh is a Better Protector to both (than you). So follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you may avoid justice, and if you distort your witness or refuse to give it, verily, Allâh is Ever Well-Acquainted with what you do.” [4:135] Dear Sheikh, I’m writing to you in hopes that you will help me with a personal problem I’m having with a Saudi Muslim brother. This brother married me a year ago, & left me after 2 months of marriage... He has not divorced me properly. I did receive a call from an unknown person telling me a message from my husband, saying that he has divorced me... That’s all!! When we got married, it was a conventional marriage, there were two witnesses and to my knowledge, it was Islamic, however, not documented in with the City hall or any governmental facility. Mohammed wanted to keep our marriage a secret until he returned from a visit with his family in Saudi. I was not allowed to tell my family, friends, nor was the community here, to know. Being new 46

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to Islam, I trusted him and believed that when he came back he would make everything ok. I live in the US… Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible in Islam to marry without a guardian (wali). See Question#2127. If you got married without a guardian or someone acting in place of a guardian, then the marriage is not valid, and consequently you do not need a divorce. We are shocked by the actions of this person who paid no attention to sharee’ah or to what your situation would be when he left you, and who left without making the situation clear. Allaah is sufficient for him and He is Swift in taking account. It is regrettable indeed for a new Muslim to find an older Muslim who is not fit to be an example, and then have the shock of realizing that this person does not follow the rulings of sharee’ah governing the sacred marriage bond. You have to repent from what has happened, i.e., having a relationship without a proper marriage. Perhaps this incident will make you more keen to learn about sharee’ah and the rulings of Islam. We ask Allaah to make you steadfast in Islam and help you to understand it properly. May He bestow more of His bounty upon you and bless you with a righteous Muslim husband. Allaah is the One Whom we ask for help. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 47

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3810: Her brother is going to marry a corrupt girl and his family want to deprive him of his inheritance Question: My older brother has been studying in the xxx. for approximately 7 years now.We belong to a very conservative family with strict principles. In the last year he has gotten involved(intimately) with a girl who is muslim and belongs to the same country except she is very ‘Westernised’. They have decided to get married except my parents do not agree to the marriage on the terms that the girl is not islamic i.e.she doesnt wear conservative clothing, and she drinks, etc..My parents have tried very hard to desuade my brother but he has become evn more adamant and is threatening to go ahead with the marriage whether they support him or not. Consequently my parents have threatened to cut off all ties from him, and cut off his inheritance. MY question is is my brother right to marry this girl with who he is intimately involved against my parents wishes?And is it right for my parents to disagree to the marriage on the terms i have stated and cut him off his inheritance? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. With regard to the question of marriage, if you have any authority or influence over your brother and can convince him to give up the idea of marrying this woman, then remember that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded the Muslim to marry the woman who is religious. This woman is sinful and goes against the religion, she is not modest in her 48

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dress and she drinks wine, so he should not marry this woman. With regard to the issue of his disobedience towards his parents, this sin is more serious than the one mentioned above. They have told him to obey Allah and to keep away from sin, so he must obey them and avoid going against their wishes. Your family’s rejection of this marriage is quite correct according to sharee’ah, because they are enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil, and seeking to control one who is insane. It is permissible, indeed it is necessary, to forsake him if doing so will stop him from going ahead, because marriage to this woman will keep him away from his religion. In America and in other kaafir countries there are many individuals in the Indian, Pakistani and Arab communities who have forsaken their religion and are no longer Muslim in anything but name. As regards depriving him of his inheritance, this should not be done unless he becomes an apostate (leaves Islam). So long as he is within the pale of Islam, and does not do anything to put him outside of Islam or to make him a kaafir, then it is not permissible to deprive him of his inheritance, because this is something prescribed by Allaah, and as such it is not permissible to change it. And Allaah knows best, Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 1825: Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men in the hope that they may become Muslim Question: What is the ruling on a Muslim woman marrying a non49

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Muslim man, especially when she hopes that he will become Muslim after marriage? Many Muslim women claim that they cannot find suitable Muslim men, and that they are faced with the threat of having to commit sin or live in extremely straitened circumstances. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is forbidden for Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men, according to the Qur’aan, the Sunnah and the consensus of the scholars (ijmaa’) (see question # 689) . If such a marriage takes place, it is invalid, it does not have any impact upon inheritances according to sharee’ah, and any children born from this union are illegitimate. Hoping that the husband may become Muslim does not alter this ruling in the slightest. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 677: Ruling on marrying a woman who has no religion Question: Is it permissible for a Muslim man to marry a woman who professes no faith or “deen” at all — an “agnostic”? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 50

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This is not permitted at all, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them…” [al-Mumtahinah 60:10]. An exception is made in the case of chaste women of the People of the Book (Jews and Christians), because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “(Lawful to you in marriage) are … and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…” [al-Maa’idah 5:5]. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 2285: Family problems because a Muslim woman wants to marry a Christian man Question: I am a muslim women who want’s to marry a christain man I am not a relgious person but, my family is and I am having a very hard time this matter. I’ve known this person for ten years. My parents are not really religious but my father is afraid of his mother and what they are going to say about his daughter marrying a christian man. my husband to be has converted to the islamic religion but according to my partents and family this is not good enough. please help what should i do. my husband to be is aware of childeren and also is aware that they will be taught the islamic religion. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 51

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It is regrettable indeed that anyone would fail to adhere to the religion which Allaah has commanded us to adhere to. What is even more distressing is the fact that a Muslim woman would have a relationship (of any kind) with a non-related Christian man for ten years, when she knows that this is something which angers Allaah, Who has forbidden believing women to do such things in the Qur’an (interpretation of the meaning): “… they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:25]. Equally upsetting is the fact that what this Muslim girl’s father fears most – with regard to the marriage described – is not Allaah, but what his mother will say and how his reputation among his relatives will be affected. In any case, there is no way out of this problem now except one: this man must become Muslim in a real sense, and start to practise Islam, and he and this girl should repent for what they have done. Then marrying him will be permissible, and what people may say does not matter, so long as everything is done in accordance with Islam and in a way that will not earn the anger of Allaah; the matter can also be explained to close relatives. If this is not possible, then the relationship with this man should be cut completely, and all thought of him should be dismissed from one’s mind. If, my sister, you feel that there is some harshness in this answer, then by Allaah it is only in your best interests and out of concern for you. We ask Allaah to accept our repentance and have mercy on us, for He is the One Who accepts repentance and is All-Merciful. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 52

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2450: Ruling on proposing marriage to a girl who is already engaged Question: Does a brother has any legal bond on a sister he has intentions to Marry? What I actually mean is: a brother is interested in a sister and wants to marry her, however, another brother wants to marry her also but he does not want to engage her as yet (Kitbah). because one brother wants to marry the sister does that mean that the other brother should stay away? Answer: If a person has proposed marriage to a woman, it is not permitted for anyone else to offer a proposal to her, because of the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) which states that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should offer a proposal of marriage over the proposal of his brother until the first one gives up or gives him permission.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4746). There follow quotations from Ibn Hijr’s commentary which will shed more light on the matter: The majority of scholars said: This amounts to a prohibition… The Shaafi’is and Hanbalis said: it is prohibited when the woman proposed to, or her appointed guardian, has stated that she accepts the offer, but if she has stated that she rejects this offer, it is not prohibited. If the second man does not know the situation, then he is permitted to propose marriage, because the basic principle is that proposing marriage is something permitted… If the woman has not answered either way, it is permitted. 53

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Al-Tirmidhi reported from al-Shaafi’i that the meaning of the hadeeth is: if a man proposes to a woman and she likes him and accepts, no-one else should propose to her after that, but if he (the second man) does not know that she liked and accepted that proposal, there is nothing wrong with his proposing to her. The evidence for this is the story of Faatimah bint Qays, who did not tell (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) that she had accepted the proposal of one (of two men who had proposed to her). If she had told him, he would not have advised her to marry someone other than the one she had chosen. If there is no word of acceptance or rejection from the woman, some of the Shaafi’is say that it is definitely permitted… Al-Shaafi’i said that in the case of a virgin, her silence indicates her acceptance of a suitor. The hadeeth was interpretated as meaning that if the first man to propose gives permission to the second, it is no longer prohibited for him to propose. … It was reported from Ibn al-Qaasim, the companion of Maalik, that if the first suitor is immoral, a chaste man is permitted to propose over his proposal. Ibn al-‘Arabi said that this was correct… This is applicable if the woman is chaste, because an immoral man would not be compatible for her, and his proposal would be like no proposal at all. The phrase “until he marries her”* means until the first suitor has gone ahead and married her, so that anyone else will realize that there is no longer any point in proposing; “or gives up” means that the first suitor decides not to go ahead, in which case it is permitted for the second to offer his proposal. * Please note these words are in another Rewaaya… Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 54

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2377: Temporary Marriage Question: About four weeks ago I met an Arabic man who followed Islam, he told me that he had special interest in me and wanted to be with me. To validate this “dating” he requested that we be “temporarly married”. I have searched and searched for the explanation of this “temporary marriage”. I really love this man and would marry him, but from what I have read it seems as though we already maybe married. I am very confused and would like to have this cleared up. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There is no such thing in Islam as so-called “temporary marriage,” but some people who follow misguided innovations that have been introduced into the religion still believe in the validity of something known as “mut’ah marriage,” which is a form of temporary marriage. However, this type of marriage was abrogated or cancelled out and is not part of Islamic law (translator’s note: it was allowed for a brief period during the very early days of Islam, when society was in transition, but was definitively and for all time abrogated during the life of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)). You should beware of such people, and not let your emotions overwhelm you and stop you from following the truth. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 55

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2126: Marrying without her father’s knowledge Question: I am looking at a lengthy engagement period before my fiance and I am able to financially marry and live together. We would both like to have a nikkah during our engagement so that we are not sinning when we are intimate with each other. However, both of our parents are against this and want us to wait until our marriage reception which is in a year or so. Is it allowed for us to get a nikkah in secret? My second question is, is it ok for us to repeat the nikkah ceremony again during our reception (since our parents won’t know of our first nikkah)? Is a double nikkah permissible to the same person? Your help is much appreciated. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You will find a detailed answer to your first question under Question #2127. Know also that you can never have a proper marriage contract without your father’s knowledge and consent. Indeed, he or a person designated by him must marry you to the man who has asked for your hand. Once the marriage contract has been made according to Islamic law, meeting all the required conditions, then there is nothing wrong with having more than one waleemah (wedding reception) in more than one place. And Allaah is the source of help. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 56

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115: Ban on muslim women marrying kafir (unbeliever) Question: Can a non-muslim man marry a muslim woman? Answer: It is absolutely not permissible under any circumstances in Islamic law (shari’a) of Allah, the most esteemed and exhalted, for a non-Muslim to marry a Muslim woman, as per what He has said regarding the marriage of a kafir (unbeliever) to a Muslim woman and vice versa: (interpretation of the meaning). They are not lawful (wives) for the unbelievers, nor are the unbelievers lawful (husbands) for them... (AlMumtahina:10) And Allah the most esteemed and exhalted has also said (interpretation of the meaning): Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe... (Al-Baqara:221) i.e., it is not ever permissable for someone to marry his Muslim daughter or sister or any Muslim woman for whom he is a guardian to a kafir. Islam must be exhalted and cannot be subjugated, so how could a Muslim woman be put under the care of a kafir man, when the man is normally naturally in a stronger position? In such a situation he could cause her to corrupt the practice of her religion or force her into subdual by causing her to live a life of oppression with him. He could also prevent her from practicing some of her religious rites. These are among the reasons for the aforementioned 57

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ban expressed in the previous ayaat. wallahu a’lam (and Allah is the most knowledgable). Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com)

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Chapter 2 Transactions Marriage: Women Who are Forbidden for Marriage 48954: Can he marry the daughter of his father’s wife? Question: A man got married to a woman who had a daughter when he got married to her, and he was blessed with children from her. Can the man’s son from another wife marry the daughter of this woman whom his father married?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There is nothing wrong with that, because there is no connection of blood between them, so she is a stranger (non-mahram) to him, and he is a stranger to her. So it is permissible for a person to marry the daughter of his father’s wife from another man, because Allaah says, after mentioning those to whom marriage is forbidden: “All others are lawful” [al-Nisa’ 4:24]. Al-Muntaqa min Fataawa al-Fawzaan, 5/258. (www.islam-qa.com) 26202: It is not correct to draw an analogy between donating blood and breastfeeding to prove that someone is a mahram Question: I know that breastfeeding establishes the relationship of 59

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being a mahram, and that if a woman breastfeeds a child she becomes his mother through breastfeeding (radaa’ah). Is it correct to draw an analogy between blood transfusion and breastfeeding?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This analogy is not correct. The relationship of mahram that is proven in sharee’ah applies only in the case of breastfeeding. This has been stated by the consensus of the Fiqh Council. Majallat al-Buhooth al-Islamiyyah, 35/343. The Standing Committee was asked: A man had blood taken from him to be given to his wife. Does that have any effect on his married life with her? They replied: Perhaps the questioner is thinking of an analogy between blood and the milk that establishes the relationship of a mahram. This analogy is not valid for two reasons: 1- Blood is not a source of nourishment as milk is; 2- That which establishes the relationship of a mahram according to the text is breastfeeding that fulfils two conditions: (i) that the breastfeeding occurs five or more times; (ii) that that takes place within the first two years of the child’s life. Based on this, the blood that has been taken from you and given to your wife does not have any affect on your married life. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

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Majallat al-Buhooth al-Islamiyyah, 4/332. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 33752: His half-sister from his father has a half-sister from her mother. Is it permissible for him to marry her? Question: I have a half-sister from my father, who has a half-sister from her mother. Is it permissible for me to marry the half-sister of my sister from her mother?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Yes, that is permissible. Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said: If you have a half-sister from your father, then it is permissible for you to marry her half-sister from her mother, because there is no relationship between you and her half-sister from her mother that would prevent that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “All others are lawful” [al-Nisa’ 4:24] al-Muntaqa, 5/258. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated that the Muslims were unanimously agreed that this kind of marriage is permissible. He said: It is permissible for a man’s half-sister from his mother 61

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to marry his half-brother from his father. This is unanimously agreed upon among the Muslims and there is no dispute concerning that. And Allaah knows best. From al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/163. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 20884: Muslim man marrying a non-Muslim woman Question: A non muslim girl wants to loves a muslim guy and has decided to marry him. she is also ready to accept islam. does islam permits a muslim guy to marry a non muslim asian girl. both love each other very much and cant stay without each other. what must be done now, how and when can she accept islam. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: Through this website we will send a message to this nonMuslim woman and others, telling them that no one can attain true life, happiness and peace of mind unless he believes in Allaah as his Lord, Islam as his religion and Muhammad as his Prophet. For all of the universe is created, and its Creator is Allaah. He is the One Who raised the heavens with no pillars and spread out the earth, and created the mountains to stabilize it, and created the sea and the rivers. “Surely, His is the creation and commandment. Blessed is Allaah, the Lord of the ‘Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists)!” 62

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[al-A’raaf 7:54 – interpretation of the meaning] Once this is clear, it should be understood that Allaah sent Messengers to His slaves, to show them the way, teach them and guide them to the path of salvation. “Messengers as bearers of good news as well as of warning in order that mankind should have no plea against Allaah after the (coming of) Messengers” [al-Nisa’ 4:165] And He ended the series of His Messengers with Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but he is the Messenger of Allaah and the last (end) of the Prophets” [al-Ahzaab 33:40 – interpretation of the meaning] Allaah sent him with the religion of Islam other than which He will not accept any religion from anyone: “And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:85 – interpretation of the meaning] Secondly: With regard to when and how she may become Muslim: It is very easy indeed. All she has to do is to say “Ashhadu an laa ilaaha illaaha ill-Allaah wa ashhadu anna Muhammad ‘abduhu was rasooluhu (I bear witness that there is no god except Allaah and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger).” Once she says that, she becomes Muslim. She should hasten to do that, 63

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because death may come suddenly, and no one knows whether he will live until tomorrow or not. We welcome her as our sister in Islam, and we ask Allaah to inspire her and guide her to do that which will bring her happiness in this world and in the Hereafter. Thirdly: What is stated in this question is that the woman is “nonMuslim”. This may be understood as meaning that she is one of the people of the Book – i.e., Jewish or Christian – or it may be understood as meaning that she is something else – such as Buddhist, Zoroastrian or communist. If the woman who wants to marry a Muslim man is one of the people of the Book, there is no shar’i impediment to this marriage, so long as it fulfils the shar’i conditions, such as the requirement that she be chaste. But the Muslim husband should be keen to bring his wife into Islam so as to save her from eternity in the Fire and so that he and his children will have a home that is based on Islam. But if the woman who wants to marry a Muslim man is not one of the people of the Book, then it is not permissible for a Muslim to marry her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, 64

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verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember” [al-Baqarah 2:221] Ibn Katheer said: Here Allaah forbids the believers to marry mushrik woman who worship idols, and if this were general in meaning, it would include every mushrik woman, whether she is of the people of the Book or is an idol worshipper, but the woman of the people of the Book are excluded from that in the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends” [al-Maa’idah 5:5] ‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas concerning the words “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone)”: Allaah excludes from that the women of the people of the Book. This was also the view of Mujahid, ‘Ikrimah, Sa’eed ibn Jubayr, Makhool, al-Hasan, al-Dahhaak, Zayd ibn Aslam, al-Rabee’ ibn Anas and others. And it was said that what is meant is the mushrikoon who worship idols, and it does not mean the people of the Book at all. This meaning is close to the first meaning. And Allaah knows best. Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/474 Whilst noting that this is permissible, we should also 65

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remember that Islam encourages the Muslim man to marry a Muslim woman who is religiously committed, because the Muslim’s life with his wife is a complete and comprehensive life which involves chastity, lowering the gaze, and protecting and looking after the house and children. These and similar things cannot be achieved except with a religiously-committed wife. See the answer to question no. 12283; also the answer to question no 20227, which gives more details on the bad consequences of marriage to a non-Muslims woman. In the answer to question no. 3320 it states that it is not permissible to allow her to celebrate (non-Islamic) festivals inside or outside the home. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 34682: Is there such a thing as a temporary mahram? Question: It is well known that it is not permissible for a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman, or to be alone with her, but is it permissible for a man to greet – i.e., shake hands with – his wife’s sister or her aunt, on the grounds that they are his temporary mahrams? Similarly is it permissible to be alone with them or not? Is the temporary prohibition on marriage between a man and his wife’s sister or aunt the same as the temporary prohibition on marriage between a man and another man’s wife or not?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 66

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Firstly: It is not permissible for a man to shake hands with his wife’s sister or aunt, and it is not permissible for him to be alone with any of them, because they are not his mahrams. Rather marriage to them is temporarily forbidden, but this is not enough to make them like mahrams with regard to being alone and shaking hands with them. Secondly: If it is established that a person is a mahram through blood ties, breastfeeding or ties of marriage, then that is permanent. There is no such thing as a temporary mahram, rather there is a temporary prohibition on marriage. The wife’s sister or aunt are not mahrams of a man, rather it is haraam for him to marry any of them whilst he is still married to his wife, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, … and two sisters in wedlock at the same time” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] And because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade being married to a woman and her aunt at the same time. With regard to the wife of another man, she is temporarily forbidden to anyone other than her husband, so long as she is still married to him. If the marriage ends through his death or through divorce or annulment of the marriage contract, then it becomes permissible for someone else to marry her after her ‘iddah ends, even if he already has a wife, so long as she is not a sister or aunt of the first wife. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

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Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Ifta, 17/36 (www.islam-qa.com) 26828: Does shaking hands with his fiancée’s mother with desire mean that he is not allowed to marry her daughter? Question: If one merely touched his mother in law with lust (my hand may have touched her hand or her hand may have touched mine and experienced an erection), does nikah with her daughter become haram? I need urgent advice in this matter? I am a young man and an immoral person. I have unclean thoughts and frequent erections. Just looking at a woman or if a woman merely touches me by mistake, I have an erection! . Answer: Praise be to Allaah. With regard to what you have mentioned about looking at your fiancée’s mother with desire, this does not mean that you are not allowed to marry her daughter, because what would prevent you from marrying her (the daughter) is your marrying her mother and consummating the marriage with her. The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: … your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters),” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] 68

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But I advise you to fear Allaah and not take the matter of looking lightly, for it is a serious matter, and the door to endless evil. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not follow one glance with another, for you are allowed the first but not the second.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 277; Abu Dawood, 2147; Ahmad, 1373 – from ‘Ali, may Allaah be pleased with him). What you have mentioned about feeling desire whenever you look, is because your mind is constantly preoccupied with sex. Undoubtedly the corrupt media play a great role in that, because their aim is to occupy people’s minds with such things by spreading pornographic movies and pictures, and love stories. These are things that the Muslim should keep away from. There is no reason why a person should not satisfy his desires in the way in which Allaah has permitted, but for a man to live with no other thought than how to satisfy his desire, this is something which every wise person should refrain from. You should realize that no one will live in this world, rather this is the abode of striving. Man is like a stranger in this world. Think about the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to Ibn ‘Umar – who was a young man – “Be in this world as if you are a stranger or just passing through.” Set your aim high and do not be content with anything but the highest and noblest of things. The highest of things is the pleasure of Allaah and entering Paradise. If you set your aim high, you will find that you are a new person, and the things you are suffering will disappear. I advise you to obey the command of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “O young men, 69

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whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot, then let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065; Muslim, 1400, from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood, may Allaah be pleased with him). Finally, I advise you to make du’aa’ and turn to Allaah, for He will not let down the one who calls upon Him in sincerity and seriousness. Strive to control yourself, and keep away from things that provoke your desire. Fill your heart with the love of Allaah and longing to meet Him. May Allaah bless us with beneficial knowledge, righteous deeds, humble hearts and answered prayers. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad and all his family and companions. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 22179: Marrying the sister of his ex-wife Question: Is it permissible for a man to marry the sister of his former wife, when the ‘iddah of the former wife has ended and if the first wife is still alive? Because the prohibition applies to being married to two sisters at the same time, and the former wife is alive. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 70

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Yes, it is permissible to marry the sister of one’s former wife, on condition that the ‘iddah of the first wife has ended. The evidence for that is the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: … and two sisters in wedlock at the same time” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] It was narrated that ‘Ubaydah al-Salmaani said: “The Sahaabah did not agree on anything so unanimously as they agreed upon four (rak’ahs of Sunnah prayer) before Zuhr, and that a woman should not be taken in marriage during the ‘iddah of her sister.” The prohibition applies when the marriage is still in effect, but now the relationship with the first wife has ended through divorce (talaaq). And Allaah knows best. See al-Mughni, 7/68-69. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 12298: Ruling on marrying a fifth wife during the ‘iddah following divorce of the fourth wife Question: If a man has 4 wives and he divorces one of them,is it permissible for him to marry someone else during this iddah period? What is the daleel,if the answer is no it’s not permissible for him to marry someone during the iddah period will that last marriage be valid and what should be 71

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done to rectify the situation according to the quraan and sunnah. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If the divorce that has been issued to the fourth wife is a revocable divorce – i.e., it is the first or second talaaq – then the scholars are unanimously agreed that a woman who has been given a revocable divorce is still to be considered a wife until her ‘iddah is over. (al-Mughni, 7/ 104). If it is proven that she is still your wife, then you should note that the scholars are agreed that it is not permissible for a free man to have more than four wives at one time, because of the hadeeth narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1128) from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that Ghaylaan ibn Salamah al-Thaqafi became Muslim and he had ten wives during the Jaahiliyyah; they became Muslim along with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded him to choose four of them. This was classed as saheeh by alAlbaani, as stated in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 1/329. It is clear from the above that it is not permissible for a man to marry a fifth wife during the ‘iddah of a wife who has been given a revocable divorce, because by doing so he will have five wives at the same time, and the Sahaabah, the four imams and all of Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah are agreed, in word and deed, that it is not permissible for a man to have more than four wives at one time, except for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said in al-Fataawa al-Kubra (4/154), that the great Taabi’i ‘Ubaydah alSalmaani said: “The companions of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not agree on anything as much as they agreed that a fifth wife cannot 72

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be married during the ‘iddah of the fourth, and a woman cannot be taken as a co-wife with her sister.” Whoever wants to have more than four wives is going against the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and is going against Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah. See Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/641. If this has taken place, then the marriage contract is invalid, and you have to leave her until the ‘iddah of your divorced wife is over. If you have consummated the marriage with her – i.e., with the fifth wife – then you have to give her the mahr that is given to women of her social standing, and she has to wait out the ‘iddah of one who is divorced. Then if you want to marry her after that, you must make another marriage contract with her, meeting all the conditions prescribed in sharee’ah for a marriage contract. But if your divorce of the fourth wife is an irrevocable divorce – i.e., a third talaaq – then there is a difference of scholarly opinion as to whether it is permissible to marry a fifth wife during the ‘iddah of the fourth wife following a third talaaq. The Hanbalis and Hanafis say that this is not allowed, and this is the view regarded as most correct by Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him). See Kitaab Fataawa al-Talaaq by Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 1/278. On this basis, the ruling is the same as that described above in the case of a revocable divorce. When the ‘iddah of the woman who has been divorced for a third time comes to an end, it is then permissible for him to make a marriage contract with her (the fifth woman). And Allaah knows best. But in the case of the fourth wife dying, it is permissible for him to get married after she dies, because the marriage is not considered to be still in effect in this case. 73

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And Allaah knows best Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 23435: Being married to a woman and her father’s ex-wife at the same time Question: I would like to ask whether it is permissible to marry the stepmother in law ( the wife is not her daughter) while keeping the wife and stepmotherinlaw at the same time in nikah? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is permissible for a man to marry the ex-wife of his wife’s father, so long as that is not his wife’s mother. There is nothing wrong with marrying her even if her husband’s daughter is with him (is his wife), because there is no blood relationship between the two wives, i.e., between his first wife and her father’s ex-wife. What is forbidden is to be married to two sisters at the same time, or to be married to a woman and her maternal aunt or a woman and her paternal aunt at the same time. See question no. 22302. Anything other than that is permissible, because Allaah says, after mentioning those women whom one is forbidden to marry: “All others are lawful, provided you seek (them in marriage) with Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) from your property” [al-Nisa’ 4:24 – interpretation of the meaning] 74

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With regard to a mother and daughter: if the daughter is the wife, then then her mother becomes permanently forbidden for him to marry as soon as the marriage contract is completed. If the mother is the wife, then the matter is subject to further discussion: - If her husband consummated the marriage (i.e., has had intercourse with her), then the daughter is permanently forbidden for him. - If he has not consummated the marriage, then the daughter is forbidden for him until he divorces the mother, because Allaah says, describing the women who are forbidden for marriage: “your wives’ mothers, your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters),” [al-Nisa’ 4:23 – interpretation of the meaning] From Kitaab Fataawa Islamiyyah, vol. 3, p. 134. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 10090: Can he kiss his seventy-year-old female cousin on the head? Question: I have a cousin (daughter of my paternal uncle) who is seventy years old. Is it permissible for me to kiss her on the head over her hijaab or to shake her hand because she is old, or not? 75

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You are not allowed to shake her hand or to kiss her on the head or anywhere else. What is allowed is for you to greet her with words only, even if she is old, because she is not your mahram. There is nothing wrong with you saying, “How are you? How are your children?” etc. The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I do not shake hands with women” – and this included old women as well as others. And ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “By Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah never touched the hand of any woman” – meaning women who were not his mahrams, and when he accepted their oaths of allegiance to him, it was by words only. Kitaan Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 7, p. 183 (www.islam-qa.com) 10177: He wants to marry the daughter of his sister’s husband Question: Can I marry the daughter of my brother-in-law (my sister’s husband) but not my sister’s child ? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is permitted, because she is not one of the mahrams mentioned in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): 76

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“Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your foster mothers who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:23] What is listed among these mahrams is “your sister’s daughters”, and the girl – in this case – is not the daughter of your sister. So there is no reason for this marriage to be haraam, either on the grounds of blood, breastfeeding (radaa’ah) or being related by marriage. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 8442: Is it permissible to marry two sisters from one father at the same time? Question: A man has 2 wives and from each wife he has 1 daughter. Is it permitted for someone to marry the 2 daughters at one time (who of course have the same father but different mothers)? I am aware that it is not permitted to be married to 2 blood sisters at the same time, but is the case mentioned above slightly different? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible to marry them at the same time, because they are sisters, regardless of whether they share 77

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the same father and mother, or they have only one parent in common, because of the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: … two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed” [al-Nisaa’ 4:23] It was reported from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade marrying a woman then her paternal aunt, or a paternal aunt then her brother’s daughter, a woman then her maternal aunt, or a maternal aunt then her sister’s daughter, or an older sister then the younger sister, or a younger sister then the older sister.” (Narrated by alTirmidhi, no. 1045; Abu Dawood, no. 1768. Al-Tirmidhi said, it is hasan saheeh). Fayrooz al-Daylami said: I came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I have become Muslim and I am married to two sisters. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Choose whichever of them you want [i.e., and divorce the other].” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1048; Abu Dawood, 1915, et al.) Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 2798: Can she marry her mother’s half-brother? Question: can i marry my mother’s step brother (my step-uncle)? my mother and this brother of hers belong to the same 78

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father but different mothers.does the fact that we are both hanafis make a difference? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The mother’s brother is an uncle (khaal – maternal uncle) whether he is a full brother or a half-brother through the father or mother. On this basis it is not permissible for you to marry him, because he is your uncle, may Allaah guide you. It is also haraam for a man to marry his maternal aunt (khaalah), because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters…” [al-Nisa’ 4:23]. Similarly there is a total and eternal ban on women marrying their uncles. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 1940: Wife and Husband’s Brother Question: Assalaamu’alaikum! Ya Sheikh, I have a very important question to ask you and this will Insha’Allah benefit many other Muslims. A friend of mine was telling me that a wife cannot come in front of the husband’s brother as he is not her Mahram. My question is this: I live with my parents and brother and sister. I and my brother pay the rent of the apartment. Insha’Allah we are going to move to a rented house which will be bigger and the rent will 79

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be payed by me and my brother. I had thought of getting married because of the bigger house, but I don’t know whether I could do this now unless I get my own separate house. Please answer my question as soon as possible, Jazakumulah Khyran Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There is no harm in you and your wife living in one house with the rest of the family members you mentioned. All that you have to be careful about is that your wife does not go out in front of your brother or be alone with him in the house, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade non-mahrams (unrelated men) to enter upon women. He said: “Beware of entering upon women.” One of the Sahaabah said to him, “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law?” He said: “The brother-in-law is death!” (Reported by alBukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 9/330). Al-Nawawi, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: “What is referred to in the hadeeth is all the husband’s (male) relatives apart from his father and sons. People customarily take the matter of a man being alone with his brother’s wife as being of little consequence; to indicate the seriousness of the matter, it was likened to death. Indeed, one should be more cautious about the brotherin-law than about a stranger. The phrase “the brother-inlaw is death” may have a number of meanings: · That being alone with a brother-in-law may lead to disaster if a sin is committed, or may spell divorce for the woman if her husband cannot contain his jealousy; · Or: Beware of being alone with a non-mahram woman – fear this as you fear death. 80

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All this stems from Islam’s keenness to protect households, to avoid evil and to preserve marriages in the best possible way. You will find more details under question #217 . May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 105: Ruling on marrying cousins Question: Is it correct,that our Rusul (peace and blessings of Allah be upom him) , discouraged marrying cousins. You, see marrying cousins should be the last resort. Jazakallah. Answer: Al-hamdu lillah (All praise be to Allah). There is no objection whatsoever in the Islamic religion for a man to marry any of his relatives except al-maharim (those forbidden for marriage) whom Allah mentioned in surat al-nisaa’, 4:23 (interpretation of the meaning): Prohibited to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, daughters, sisters; father’s sisters, mother’s sisters; brother’s daughters, sister’s daughters; foster-mothers (who breast-fed you), foster-sisters (who breast-fed from the same woman as you); your wives’ mothers; your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives with whom you have consummated marriage, no prohibition if ye have not consummated; (those who have been) wives of your sons proceeding from your loins; and 81

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two sisters in wedlock at one and the same time, except for what is past; for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. Thus, when Allah mentioned for us the relatives to whom marriage is forbidden, we then come to know that there is no objection for the remainder of the family relations. Furthermore, there is no condition that it be the last resort as indicated in the question. Among the most prominent evidence of this fact is that the Prophet (peace be upon him) married his daughter Fatima to Ali (may Allah be pleased with them) and he is the son of her father’s uncle, as well as the marriage of the Prophet himself to Zainab bint Jahsh (may Allah be please with her) and she is his aunt’s daughter (i.e. his cousin); and there are many other such examples. However, a different question may be asked, namely: “Is it better or preferable for a Muslim to marry someone he is not related to rather than a relative?” The answer to this question varies from case to case, and perhaps it may be preferable to marry people who are non-relations, for example if one aspires to form new social ties or bonds, and regards the existence of a marriage relationship with a different family as constructive in widening the circle of social bonds. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

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Chapter 3 Transactions Marriage: Mahram Relatives 40401: Is the wife of one’s son through breastfeeding a mahram? Question: I have a son through breastfeeding who was breastfed by my wife. Am I a mahram for his wife?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The wife of a son of one’s loins is a mahram to his father, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are… the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] If a man has a son who is married to a woman, his father becomes a mahram to her, and he may travel with her, be alone with her, look at her face, and so on. With regard to his son through breastfeeding, most of the scholars are of the view that he is like a son from his own loins, but Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah rejected that and said: Breastfeeding does not affect the in-law relationship; the wife of a son through breastfeeding is a non-mahram to the father, so she should not uncover in front of him and she should not be alone with him and he may not travel 83

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with her, because she is a stranger (non-mahram) to him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are… the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “What becomes mahram (forbidden for marriage) through breastfeeding is that which become mahram through blood ties.” A son’s wife is not a mahram to his father because of blood ties but rather through marriage. There is no blood tie between his father and her, rather she is his mahram through marriage. This is the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, and this is what I think is correct. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him); Liqaa’aat al-baab il-Maftooh, 529. (www.islam-qa.com) 45970: The husband’s father is a mahram for his son’s wife Question: Is it permissible for my wife to shake hands with my father?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Yes, that is permissible, because when a man makes a marriage contract with a woman, his father becomes a 84

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mahram for her, as does his son from another wife. And her mother becomes a mahram for him, as does her daughter from another husband. This is called a mahram by marriage. The evidence that the husband’s father is a mahram for the son’s wife is the verse in which Allaah mentions the women who are mahrams (interpretation of the meaning): “the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] So the wife of the son is a mahram for her husband’s father. The evidence that the husband’s son is a mahram for his father ’s wife is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed” [al-Nisa’ 4:22] The evidence that the wife’s mother is a mahram for her daughter’s husband is the verse in which Allaah mentions the women who are mahrams (interpretation of the meaning): “…your wives’ mothers” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] These three (the husband’s father, his son and the wife’s mother) become mahrams as soon as the marriage contract is done, and that is not subject to the condition that the marriage be consummated. With regard to the wife’s daughter, she does not become 85

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a mahram for her mother’s husband unless he has consummated the marriage with her mother, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “ and your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters),” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] The stepdaughter (rabeebah) is the daughter of one’s wife. See al-Mughni, 9/514, 524. In conclusion: the husband’s father is a mahram for his son’s wife, so he may shake hands with her and be alone with her and travel with her. See questions no : 5538 , 20750 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 33628: His relative is in jail and he sits with his wife and children in order to look after them Question: I have a distant relative who is in jail, and I am taking care of his family’s needs such as teaching his children, buying what they need for the house and advising my relative’s family. I sit with them without a mahram, but I show them all respect in a spirit of Islamic brotherhood. She (the wife) covers her head and shows her face and hands. What has made me do that is the fact that her mahrams do not care about her or her situation. I want to know my position according to sharee’ah. Is what I am 86

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doing halaal or haraam? Please note that what I am doing is for the sake of Allaah and because I am aware of my duty towards my absent relative. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. What you are doing for the family of your absent relative is good and is to be appreciated, because taking care of the weak by meeting their needs is a righteous deed. But it is not permissible for you to be alone with the wife, because she is a stranger (non-mahram) to you, and it is not permissible for her to uncover her face in front of you, because you are not one of her mahrams. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth wa’l-Ifta’, 17/61 (www.islam-qa.com) 21603: What is the khulwah that is forbidden? Question: Does khulwah (being alone with a member of the opposite sex) only refer to when a man is alone with a woman is some room, far from the view of people? Or does it mean every instance where a man is alone with a woman even if that is in view of people?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. What is meant by the kind of khulwah that is haraam is 87

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not only a man being alone with a non-mahram woman in a room where no one can see them, rather it includes their being alone in any place where they can converse with one another, even if that is where others can see them but not hear them, and whether that is in the open air, in a car, on the roof of a house, or wherever. Khulwah is forbidden because it is the forerunner of zina (adultery, fornication) and the means that leads to zina. Every case that is like this comes under the same rulings as khulwah in the sense of being away from where people can see you. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 17/57 (www.islamqa.com) 21599: It is not permissible for a shaykh to be alone with a non-mahram woman in order to recite ruqyah for her Question: What is the ruling on going to a man who is known as a shaykh, for him to treat illness with the Qur’aan, but when he recites over women he is alone with each one of them on her own, and if the woman’s situation calls for it he keeps her in his house for a few days? I was one of these women, but I felt deep regret and asked Allaah’s forgiveness and repented to Him. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is haraam for a man to be alone with a woman who is not his mahram, even if that is for the purpose of treating 88

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her with ruqyah by reciting Qur’aan, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a (non-mahram) woman, but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” Even more serious and sinful than being alone with him is your staying overnight in the house of that man who is a stranger (non-mahram) to you, and staying in his house for a number of nights and days, and being alone with him. These are means that lead to evil and corruption. Any Muslim woman who has done such a thing has to repent sincerely from that, and not go back to such evil deeds. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Ifta’, 17/63. (www.islam-qa.com) 23302: Sitting with non-mahrams in complete hijab Question: Must a woman wear jilbab in the house in front of nonmahrams such as brother in laws or can she wear loose fitting clothes and head scarf?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. What Allaah has enjoined on women is to conceal their whole bodies from non-mahrams, including the face and hands. The clothing should be loose and not show the shape of any part of the body, and it should not provoke desire. 89

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Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It is permissible for a woman to sit with her husband’s brother or cousins etc., so long as she is wearing proper Islamic hijab, covering her face, hair and all of her body, because she is ‘awrah and a source of temptation, and so long as there is nothing suspect about this sitting with them, and she is not sitting alone with any one of them. With regard to sitting alone with one of them, or in a suspicious manner, that is not permissible. It is more important that a woman should observe hijab in front of her husband’s relatives such as his brothers, because the husband’s relatives can enter upon her and sit with her without anyone denouncing that, then that may lead to regrettable consequences. See question no. 12837. See Fataawa al-Mar’ah Jam’a al-Musnad, p. 157. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 34791: Uncles of one’s parents are mahrams Question: Can a woman uncover in front of her father’s mother’s brother?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The brother of your grandmother on your father’s side is the maternal uncle of your father, and a man’s maternal 90

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uncle is regarded as a maternal uncle for all his descendants. Based on that, your father’s maternal uncle is a maternal uncle for you, so he is one of your mahrams and you do not have to observe hijab in front of him. Rather it is permissible for you to uncover in front of him that which is usually uncovered in front of mahrams. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: Note that a person’s maternal or paternal aunt is a maternal or paternal aunt for him and for all those who are descended from him. So your father’s paternal aunt is a paternal aunt for you, and your father’s maternal aunt is a maternal aunt for you; your mother’s paternal aunt is a paternal aunt for you and your mother’s maternal aunt is a maternal aunt for you. Similarly the paternal aunts of your grandfathers and grandmothers are paternal aunts for you, and the maternal aunts of your grandfathers and grandmothers are maternal aunts for you. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/131 Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was also asked: Is it permissible for a woman to uncover in front of her mother’s paternal or maternal uncle, or her father’s paternal or maternal uncle – in other words are these persons counted as mahrams? He replied: Yes, if a woman’s mother or father has a paternal uncle who is her father’s full brother or half brother through either his father or his mother, or she has a maternal uncle, then he is one of her mahrams, because your father’s paternal uncle is a paternal uncle for you, and your father’s maternal uncle is a maternal uncle for you. Similarly your mother’s paternal uncle or maternal uncle are uncles for you through ties of blood. Al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/596 91

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And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 20755: The husband’s children are mahrams for their father’s wife Question: My wife’s sister married a brother who had two children from a previous marriage. They were babies when she married him and she has raised them as if they were her own. I don’t even know if they know that she isn’t their natural mother. I do not know for sure, however I believe they were never breast fed by her. All of my wife’s family including my wife treat them as my wife’s sister’s natural children. They are both reaching puberty now. I wish to know will my wife have wear hijab in front of the boy and will the girl have to wear hijab in front of me?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Your wife has no connection to the children of her sister’s husband, because they are not her sister’s children, either by descent or through breastfeeding. Based on this, you wife has to observe hijab in front of this boy because he is a “stranger” (non-mahram) to her. By the same token you are a non-mahram to this girl, so it is not permissible for you to be alone with her or to travel with her, and it is not permissible for her to uncover her face in front of you. With regard to the wife of the children’s father, she does 92

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not have to observe hijab in front of them because they are among her mahrams. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed” [al-Nisa’ 4:22] This aayah means that it is not permissible for a man to marry a woman whom his father or grandfather had married, no matter how far along the line of ascent, regardless of whether the father or grandfather is through his mother’s line or his father’s, and regardless of whether the marriage was consummated or not. If a man has entered into a valid marriage contact with a woman, she becomes a mahram for his sons and grandsons through his sons and daughters, no matter how far the line of descent extends. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him), al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah, 2/591 See also question no. 20750, 5538 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 20750: Is the father of one’s ex-husband a mahram? Question: As a woman of Islaam what should my relationship with my ex father-in-law be? Is it necessary for me to cover in his presence?.

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The husband’s father is considered to be a woman’s mahram even if her husband divorces her, because Allaah says, stating who a one’s mahrams are (interpretation of the meaning): “the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] In this case, the father-in-law becomes a mahram simply as soon as the marriage contract is completed; if a man makes a marriage contract with a woman, then the man’s father becomes a mahram for his son’s wife, even if the marriage is not consummated. This is what the scholars called al-mahaarim bi’lmusaaharah (mahrams by marriage). The women who become mahrams through marriage are of four types: 1 – Women married by one’s father (i.e., father’s wife and also grandfathers’ wives). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry not women whom your fathers married” [al-Nisa’ 4:22] 2 – One’s wife’s mother or grandmother: “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are… your wives’ mothers…” [al-Nisa’ 4:23 – interpretation of the meaning] 3 – One’s stepdaughter (a wife’s daughter by a previous husband). The stepdaughter is not a mahram unless the 94

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man has consummated the marriage with her mother. If he simply made a marriage contract with her but did not consummate the marriage, then she is not a mahram, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them” [al-Nisa’ 4:23 – interpretation of the meaning] 4 – One’s son’s wife and one’s grandsons’ wives, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins” [al-Nisa’ 4:23 – interpretation of the meaning] From Jaami’ Ahkaam al-Nisa’ by al-‘Adawi, 5/302 Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… your wives’ mothers, your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters), — the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins …” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] These three are mahrams by marriage. The phrase “your wives’ mothers” means that it is haraam for a man to marry the mother or grandmother of his wife, no matter how far the line of ascent reaches (i.e., great-grandmother, etc), whether that is through the mother’s line or the father’s. She becomes his mahram as soon as the marriage contract is done. 95

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If a man makes a marriage contract with a woman, it becomes haraam for him to marry her mother and she becomes one of his mahrams even if the marriage with her daughter is not consummated. If it so happens that the daughter dies or he divorces her, then he is still a mahram for her mother. If it so happens that consummation of the marriage is delayed, then he is still a mahram to her mother; she may uncover her face in front of him and he may travel with her and be alone with her, and there is no sin on him, because the mother and grandmother of the woman become mahrams as soon as the marriage contract is done, because Allaah says “your wives’ mothers”, and a woman becomes a man’s wife as soon as the marriage contract is done. The phrase “the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins” means that it becomes haraam for a man to marry the wife of his son or grandson, no matter how far the line of descent extends, as soon as the marriage contract is done. The wife of one’s son’s son (grandson) becomes a mahram to the grandfather as soon as the marriage contract is done. Hence if a man makes a valid marriage contract with a woman, then he divorces her immediately thereafter, she becomes a mahram for his father and grandfather, no matter how far the line of ascent reaches, because of the general meaning of the phrase, “the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”. The woman becomes permissible for her husband as soon as the marriage contract is done. From al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/591. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 96

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13728: Women appearing in front of men Question: Many men in some families allow their wives, daughters and sisters to appear in front of men who are not their mahrams, such as their friends and colleagues, and let them sit with them and talk to them as if they were their mahrams. If we advise them they say that this is their custom and the custom of their forefathers, and they claim that their hearts are clean. Some of them are proud and arrogant although they understand the ruling, and others are ignorant of the ruling. What is your advice to them?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. What every Muslim must do is not to rely on customs; rather he should refer the matter to the pure sharee’ah. Whatever Islam approves of is permissible and whatever it does not approve of, he should not do it. The fact that people are accustomed to a thing does not constitute evidence that it is permissible. All the customs that people may have in their cities or tribes should be referred to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Whatever Allaah and His Messenger have permitted is permissible, and whatever Allaah has forbidden must be given up, even if it is the people’s custom. If the people are accustomed to being careless concerning the matter of khulwah (being alone with a non-mahram member of the opposite sex) or of women uncovering their faces in front of nonmahrams, these are false customs which must be given up. Similarly if people are accustomed to adultery, homosexuality and drinking alcohol, they must give up 97

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these things. What is customary does not count as proof, rather sharee’ah comes above all things, so the one whom Allaah has guided to Islam has to keep away from that which Allaah has forbidden of alcohol, adultery, theft, disobedience towards parents, severing the ties of kinship and everything that Allaah has forbidden, and he must adhere to that which Allaah has enjoined. Similarly the family must respect the command of Allaah and His Messenger, and keep away from that which Allaah and His Messenger have forbidden. If it is their custom for their women folk to appear in front of non-mahrams or to be alone with a non-mahram, they must give up those practices. A woman should not uncover her face or anything else in front of her cousin, her sister’s husband, or her husband’s brothers or uncles (paternal or maternal). Rather she must observe hijab and cover her face and head and entire body in front of any non-mahram. With regard to speaking, there is nothing wrong with that, such as returning the greeting of salaam or initiating it, so long as she observes hijab and avoids being alone with any non-mahram, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts” [al-Ahzaab 33:53] “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner” [al-Ahzaab 33:32] 98

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Allaah forbade the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to be soft in speech, i.e., to speak in a soft and alluring tone that might give hope to the one in whose heart is a disease, i.e., the disease of desire and make him think that she is easy and has no objections. Rather she should speak in a moderate tone that is neither too harsh nor too soft. And Allaah tells us that hijab is purer for the hearts of everyone. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Ahzaab 33:59] The jilbab (cloak, veil) is a garment which covers the head and body; the woman puts it over her head and covers her body with it, wearing it over her clothes. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters 99

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in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex…” [al-Noor 24:31] With regard to those mentioned in this verse, there is nothing wrong with a woman showing her adornment to them. So all Muslim women must fear Allaah and avoid that which Allaah has forbidden to them of showing their adornment to anyone other than those to whom Allaah has permitted them to show it. Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Li’l-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 6/406 (www.islam-qa.com) 32455: A woman marrying her father’s maternal uncle Question: Is it permissible for a girl to marry her father’s maternal uncle?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for a girl to marry her father’s maternal uncle, because her father’s maternal uncle is also her maternal uncle, so he is a mahram. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your 100

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daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) have stated that the paternal uncle of a father is also the paternal uncle of his son, and the maternal uncle of a father is also the maternal uncle of his son. And Allaah knows best, See al-Muqni’ wa’l-Insaaf wa’l-Sharh al-Kabeer (ed. By al-Turki), 20/277. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 10239: The wife of your wife’s father is not a mahram for you Question: Is my wifes stepmother my mahrem . Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The wife of your wife’s father is not considered to be a mahram for you, so it would be permissible for you to marry her, because whether or not a person is a mahram can only be proven by a text of sharee’ah, and there is no text to state that this person is a mahram. Rather, when Allaah listed the women who are mahrams, He stated that all others are permissible for marriage. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “All others are lawful” [al-Nisa’ 4:24] 101

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Not only that, it is also permissible to be married to a woman and her father’s ex-wife at the same time, according to the majority of scholars. Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali said: Being married to a man’s ex-wife and his daughter from another wife at the same time is permissible according to the majority but is makrooh according to some of the salaf. Jaami’ al-‘Uloom wa’l-Hukam, p. 411 Imam al-Shaafa’i said: If a man is married to the daughter of a man and the exwife of her father (at the same time), Abu Haneefah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said that this is permissible, and we heard that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ja’far did that. Al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: There is nothing wrong with being married to a man’s ex-wife and his daughter from another wife. Al-Umm, 7/155 Imam Ibn Hazm said: It is permissible for a man to be married to a woman and to the ex-wife of her father and the ex-wife of her son and the daughter of her paternal uncle at the same time, because there is no text which states that this is haraam. This is the view of Abu Haneefah, Maalik, al-Shaafa’i and Abu Sulaymaan. Al-Muhalla, 9/532. Ibn Qudaamah said: There is nothing wrong with being married to a woman who was the wife of a man and his daughter from another wife. 102

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Most of the scholars say that it is permissible to be married to a woman and her stepdaughter at the same time. ‘AbdAllaah ibn Ja’far and Safwaan ibn Umayyah did that. This is the view of all the fuqaha’ apart from al-Hasan, ‘Ikrimah and Ibn Abi Layla; it was narrated that they regarded it as makrooh. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “All others are lawful” [al-Nisa’ 4:24] And because they are not related, they are like two strangers. And because marrying two closely-related women at the same time is forbidden lest there be a severing of family ties between those who are closely related. There is no such relationship between these two, so their case is different from what has been mentioned. Al-Mughni, 7/98 Based on this, then the wife of your wife’s father is not counted as one of your mahrams, rather she is a “stranger” to you, so you may not shake hands with her or be alone with her or travel with her. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 21953: Should she wear hijab in front of her Christian maternal uncle? Question: My Mother was a christian and she converted 16 years ago, her family is still christian. I for the time being live 103

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with them, and my Uncle my Mothers real brother lives with his parents i.e. in the same place as I do. While I mentiones this to some friends they said that I have to wear a Hijab infront of him. I do not agree because he is a Mahram even though he is a christian. Please help me with this. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Your maternal uncle is considered to be a mahram for you, and on this basis it is permissible for you to take off your hijab in front of him. There is no report that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ordered the Muslim women to observe hijaab in front of their kaafir relatives. But the scholars have mentioned that the relative in front of whom the woman takes off her hijab should be trustworthy. This condition applies to both Muslims and kaafirs. They mentioned that in the context of women shaking hands with or kissing their relatives. But if her mahram is not trustworthy in the sense that he may describe her to others or be tempted by seeing her, then she should observe hijab in front of him, regardless of whether he is a Muslim or a kaafir. One of the unique opinions [mufridaat] of Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) is that he stated that the mahram who accompanies a Muslim woman when travelling must be a Muslim, but some of his companions did not agree with him on this condition. The reason why he did not allow a kaafir to be a mahram for travel purposes is that he is not trustworthy, especially if he is a Magian. He stated that such a person could not be a mahram for his mother because he thinks 104

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that it is permissible to have intercourse with her! One of his companions stated that a Jew or a Christian might sell his mother or kill her! If we look at these reasons we will see that they could be applied to some evildoers among the Muslims, so we can see that this is not a strong argument for the idea that a kaafir cannot be counted as a mahram because of his being a kaafir. But other considerations remain valid, such as his being trustworthy or otherwise. This has to with mahrams. In the case of non-mahrams who are kaafirs, there was a difference of opinion among the scholars as to whether it is permissible for a kaafir woman to see a Muslim woman. The most correct opinion is that it is permissible, and the prohibition applies in cases where one cannot be sure that the woman will not describe the Muslim woman to others who are non-mahrams to her, whether that woman is a Muslim or a kaafir. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthyameen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it permissible for a Muslim woman to uncover her hair in front of a non-Muslim woman, especially if she will describe the Muslim woman to men among her relatives who are not Muslim? The answer was: This issue is based on differences of scholarly opinion concerning the interpretation of the aayah: “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), 105

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and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their women …” [al-Noor 24:31] The scholars differed as to the meaning of the pronoun in the word nisaa’ihinna (their women). Some of them said that what it referred to was the gender, i.e., women in general. Some of them said that what it referred to was a specific type of women, i.e., believing women only. According to the first view, it is permissible for a woman to uncover her hair and face in front of a non-Muslim woman, and according to the second opinion it is not permissible. We are inclined towards the first view, which is more likely to be correct, because when a woman is with another woman there is no difference between a Muslim woman and a non-Muslim woman. This is the case so long as there is no fitnah or temptation. But if there is the fear of fitnah, such as the risk that she may describe the Muslim woman to her male relatives, then it is essential to take precautions against fitnah in that case, and she should not uncover any part of her body such as her legs or hair in front of another woman, regardless of whether she is Muslim or not. And Allaah knows best. Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 1/532, 533 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 106

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12837: Sitting with husband’s relatives and shaking hands with them Question: My husband’s family always ridicule me for wearing my headscarf even when I’m in the house with them during family gatherings or Eid celebrations. They say you dont have to cover up amongst family members. I know about the rules of women aurat amonst non mahram in Islam and would like to preseve it, How can I counter their comments amicably yet preach on them about the wholesome adoption of Islam? Also, are husband’s nephews mahram to his wife? I have checked with some ustaz and they told me they are not. However, because of family and husband’s insistance ( so as not to hurt their feelings) , I still salam (handshake) with them as this is normal practice in the family. I feel very trubled about it and seek Allah guidance abd forgiveness. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: We ask Allaah to help you to do good, and to make things easy for you and relieve you of your distress. For what a Muslim woman hears and sees of those who have turned away from the religion of Allaah or whose commitment has become very weak, she has to bear that with patience and seek reward for things that she suffers. She had to have hope in her Lord and ask Him to help her to remain steadfast. It is not permissible for her to respond to their demands 107

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or to go along with their whims and desires for her to mix with them, look at them, shake hands with them and give up hijaab, because if she pleases them in this manner she will incur the wrath of her Lord. Secondly: The sons of your husband’s brothers and sisters are not mahrams, rather they are among the people of whom you should be extra cautious, because the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) likened them to death. It was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the in-law?” He said, “The in-law is death.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172) Al-Nawawi said: The scholars of Arabic language are agreed that al-hamu (translated here as “in-law”) refers to the relatives of a woman’s husband, such as his father, paternal uncle, brother, brother’s son (nephew), cousin (son of paternal uncle), etc. Akhtaan (sing. khatan) refers to the relatives of a man’s wife, and ashaar (sing. suhr) refers to both. With regard to the Prophet’s words “The in-law is death,” what this means is that there is more fear with regard to him than anyone else, and evil is to be expected of him, and the fitnah (temptation) is greater because he is able to reach the woman and be alone with her without anyone denouncing that, unlike the case of one who is a stranger. What is meant by “in-law” (hamu) here is the relatives of the husband apart from his father/grandfather and sons/ grandsons. Fathers/grandfathers and sons/grandsons are mahrams for his wife and it is permissible for them to be 108

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alone with her. The word “death” here does not refer to them. Rather what is meant is the brother, brother’s son, paternal uncle, cousin, etc, who are not mahrams. People are usually careless about this matter and a man may let his wife be alone with his brother. This is what is referred to by “death” and should be prevented more than her being alone with a stranger for the reasons mentioned above. What we have mentioned is the correct meaning of the hadeeth. Sharh Muslim, 14/154 Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It is permissible for a woman to sit with her husband’s brothers or cousins, etc., if she is wearing complete shar’i hijaab, which means covering her face, hair and entire body, because she is ‘awrah and fitnah. That is if there is nothing dubious about the gathering. But if the gathering is one in which there is something dubious, then it is not permitted, such as sitting with them in order to listen to singing and musical instruments, etc.; and it is not permissible for her to be alone with any one of them or with anyone else who is not a mahram for her, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should be alone with a (non-mahram) woman unless she has a mahram with her.” (Saheeh; agreed upon). And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should be alone with a (nonmahram) woman, for the third one present will be the Shaytaan.” (Narrated by Imam Ahmad with a saheeh isnaad from ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab. May Allaah be pleased with him). And Allaah is the Source of strength. Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 1/422, 423 109

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Thirdly: As for a woman shaking hands with a non-mahram man, this is haraam. It is not permitted for you to take this matter lightly just because your relatives or your husband’s relatives want you to. It was narrated from ‘Urwah that ‘Aa’ishah told him about the bay’ah (oath of allegiance) given by the women: “The hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he accepted the oath of allegiance from a woman, he would accept her words and then say, ‘Go, for you have sworn your allegiance.’” (Narrated by Muslim, 1866) So this infallible one, the best of all mankind, the leader of the sons of Adam on the Day of Resurrection, did not touch women, even though the bay’ah or oath of allegiance originally was done by giving one’s hand. So the ruling should be even more strict with regard to other men? It was narrated that Umaymah the daughter of Raqeeqah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I do not shake hands with women.” (Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 4181; Ibn Maajah, 2874; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2513) Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Shaking hands with women with a barrier in between is something that is subject to further debate, but the view which is most likely to be correct is that it is not allowed at all, based on the general meaning of the ahaadeeth, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be 110

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upon him) said, “I do not shake hands with women,” and so as to ward off the means (that may lead to immoral actions). And Allaah knows best. Haashiyat Majmoo’ah Rasaa’il fi’l-Hijaab wa’l-Sufoor, 69. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 20248: Is my husband a mahram for my brother’s daughter whom I brought up? Question: I have custody of my niece and I am married, is my husband my nieces’ mahram and does my niece have to cover in front of my husband in the house, she is 16 teens years of age Answer: Praise be to Allaah Allaah has mentioned, in His Book, the men before whom a woman is permitted not to observe hijaab. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their 111

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bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful” [al-Noor 24:31] For more details please see Question no. 5538. Since the husband of a maternal or paternal aunt is not mentioned in this verse, the ruling is that the general principle of observing hijab in front of him applies in this case, unless this woman (the aunt) had breastfed her brother’s child, in which case her husband would be regarded as a father to her through radaa’ah (breastfeeding), in which case he would be a mahram for her. So if you did not breastfeed this niece, then she has to observe hijaab in front of your husband, in obedience to the command of Allaah, which is best for both parties. That is purer for the hearts and furthest removed from fitnah (temptation). We ask Allaah to reward you and your husband with good for taking care of this girl and bringing her up, and that He will cause that to weigh heavily in the balance of your good deeds. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 112

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13231: Ruling on observing hijaab in front of one’s son in law Question: Some women wear hijaab in front of their daughters’ husbands, and they refuse to greet them with salaam or shake hands. Is it permissible for them to do that or not? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The husband of a woman’s daughter is one of the mahrams through marriage, so it is permissible for him to see of her what he is permitted to see of his mother, sister, daughter and all other mahrams. For a woman to cover her face, hair, forearms etc. in front of her daughter’s husband is a kind of extremism in hijaab. Refusing to shake hands with him when meeting is also a kind of extremism. That may lead to problems or a breakdown in relations. She should avoid being extreme in this manner unless she has some reason to doubt him or she feels that the way he looks at her is not proper, in which case she is doing the right thing. Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas in al-Fataawa alJaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, vol. 3, p. 822 (www.islam-qa.com) 13257: Uncovering in front of the husband’s father through radaa’ah Question: What is the ruling on a woman uncovering her face in 113

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front of her husband’s father through radaa’ah (breastfeeding) [i.e., the husband of the woman who breastfed him in infancy]? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for a woman to uncover her face in front of her husband’s father through breastfeeding, according to the correct view which was favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The same people become mahrams through breastfeeding as those who are mahrams through blood ties.” The husband’s father is not a mahram for his son’s wife through blood ties, but he becomes a mahram through the marriage tie, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: … the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins” [al-Nisa’ 4:23] A son through breastfeeding is not the same as a son from one’s own loins. On this basis, if a woman’s husband has a father through breastfeeding, then she must observe hijaab in front of him and not uncover her face in front of him. If we assume that she were to separate from his son through breastfeeding, it would not be permissible for her to marry him, in order to be on the safe side, because this is the view of the majority of scholars. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen in al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’lMar’ah al-Muslimah, part 3, p. 822 (www.islam-qa.com) 114

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14333: This woman is not your mahram Question: I would like to know what is my relationship to my brother-in-laws (wife’s brother) wife. She calls me brother and I treat her like my sister. Is this allowed in Islam. Please advice. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for you to treat your wife’s brother’s wife as your sister, because she is not one of your mahrams. So it is not permissible for her to appear before you without proper hijab, and it is not permissible for you to be alone with her, or to shake hands with her, or to look at her, or to speak to her except from behind a screen, when there is no fear of fitnah (temptation). Allaah has forbidden the believing women to show their adornment except to specific people. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “…and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful” [al-Noor 24:31] 115

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You are not one of the people mentioned in the aayah, so this ruling does not apply to you. And Allaah knows best. See also question no. 5538. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 12335: Is one’s mother’s cousin considered to be a mahram? Question: I would like to ask whether the first cousin of my mom is a mahram for me or not. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Your mother’s cousin is not a mahram for your mother, let alone for you. It is permissible for him to marry you, as you are not a mahram for him. Among the conditions of mahram is that it should be permanently forbidden for you to marry him. See the answer to Question # 5538. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 7847: A Woman Does not Act as a Mahram for Another Woman Question: an a woman be considered a mahram for a woman she is 116

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not related to for purposes of traveling or sitting with others? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. A woman cannot be a mahram for another. The one who is considered mahram is a man that a woman cannot marry due to blood relations, such as her father and her brother, or a man related to her due to marriage, such as her husband, her father-in-law and her step-son, or a man related due to breast feeding, such as her father from breast feeding and so forth. It is not allowed for a man to be in private with a woman he is not related to nor can he travel with her. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “A woman does not travel except with a mahram.” This was recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim. The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said, “A man is never alone with a woman except that Satan is the third.” This was recorded by Imam Ahmad and others from the hadith of Umar with a sahih chain. Shaikh ibn Baz (www.islam-qa.com) 117

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6102: Should she cut off her ties with her adopted brother who has left Islam (is an apostate)? Question: My friends brother is adopted. He was not breastfed by her mother. Her mother got him when he was 3 months old from an adoption agency. There are no blood ties between them. She is muslim, he is muslim but he reverts back to the kuffar way of life. If he backbites her and he tells lies about her to other people, Can she cut ties off with him since he is adopted and there is no blood between them from the mother or father or anybody else? DOEs she still offer him salaams even though he is a revert Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This person has no ties to this family, whether through blood or through breastfeeding (radaa’ah). On this basis, if he is a mature and responsible adult, it is not permissible for him to mix with them and look at that which is forbidden. This is the case if he is still Muslim, let alone if he has left Islam. So it is not permissible for her to shake hands with him, or to be alone with him, or to uncover in front of him, because he is not a mahram. (See also question # 5538). She should not greet him with salaam nor return his greeting so long as he is a murtadd (apostate). We ask Allaah to keep us all safe and sound. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 118

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5538: Who are the mahrams in front of whom a woman can uncover? Question: what people can a muslimah take her hijab off from? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is permissible for a woman to take off her hijaab in front of her mahrams. A woman’s mahram is a person whom she is never permitted to marry because of their close blood relationship (such as her father, grandfather, greatgrandfather, etc., and her son, grandson, great-grandson, etc., her paternal and maternal uncles, her brother, brother’s son and sister’s son), or because because of radaa’ah or breastfeeding (such as the brother and husband of the woman who breastfed her), or because they are related by marriage (such as the mother’s husband, the husband’s father, grandfather, etc., and the husband’s son, grandson, etc.). More details on this subject are given below: Mahrams by ties of blood These are the ones mentioned in Soorat al-Noor, where Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons…” [al-Noor 24:31]. 119

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The mufassireen said: the woman’s male mahrams by ties of blood, as stated clearly in this aayah or inferred by it are as follows: 1- the woman’s forefathers, no matter how far back the line of ascent goes through her father and her mother, such as her father’s forefathers and her mother’s forefathers. As for her husband’s forefathers, they are her mahrams by marriage, as we shall see below. 2- her sons, which includes her children’s children, no matter how the line of descent goes and whether they are descended from males or females, such as her sons’ sons and her daughters’ sons. As for her “husband’s sons” mentioned in the aayah, these are the husband’s sons from other wives, and these are her mahrams by marriage, not by blood, as we shall see below. 3- her brothers, whether they are her brothers through both the mother and father, or through the father only or the mother only. 4- the children of her siblings, whether they are descended through the males or females, such as the sons of her sister’s daughters. 5- paternal uncles and maternal uncles. They are mahrams by blood even though they are not mentioned in the aayah, because they are like parents and are regarded by people as having the same status as parents, and a paternal uncle may be called a father. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Or were you witnesses when death approached Ya‘qoob (Jacob)? When he said unto his sons, “What will you worship after me?” They said, “We shall worship your Ilaah (God — Allaah) the Ilaah (God) of your fathers, Ibraaheem (Abraham), Ismaa’eel (Ishmael), Ishaaq 120

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(Isaac)…” [al-Baqarah 2:133]. Ismaa’eel was the paternal uncle of the sons of Ya’qoob. (Tafseer al-Raazi, 23/206; Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 12/232, 233; Tafseer al-Aaloosi, 18/143; Fath al-Bayaan fi Maqaasid al-Qur’aan by Siddeeq Hasan Khaan, 6/352) Mahrams by radaa’ah (breastfeeding) A woman may have mahrams through radaa’ah. It says in Tafseer al-Aloosi: “The relationship of mahram which permits a woman to show her adornments may be through radaa’ah as well as through blood ties, so it is permissible for a woman to show her adornments to those who are her fathers or sons through radaa’ah.” (Tafseer al-Aaloosi. 18/143) The relationship of mahram by radaa’ah is like the relationship of mahram by blood – it means that marriage is forever forbidden by virtue of that relationship of mahram. This was the view stated by Imaam al-Jassaas when he commented on this aayah. He said (may Allaah have mercy on him): “When Allaah mentioned the fathers and that their marriage to these women is forbidden forever, this indicates that the same prohibition applies in other relationships of mahram, such as the mother of the woman and those who are mahrams by radaa’ah, etc.” (Ahkaam al-Qur’aan by al-Jassaas, 3/317). The same things are made haraam by radaa’ah as by ties of blood. It also says in the Sunnah: “The same things are made haraam by radaa’ah as by ties of blood.” This means that the people who are mahram to a woman because of blood ties are also mahram because of radaa’ah. It was reported in Saheeh Muslim that ‘Aa’ishah Umm al-Mu’mineen (may Allaah be pleased with her) said that Aflah the 121

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brother of Abu Qu’ays came and asked permission to see her. He was her uncle through radaa’ah. This was after hijaab had been revealed, so she refused to give him permission. When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came, she told him about what she had done and he told her to give him permission. (Saheeh al-Bukhaari bi Sharh al-‘Asqallaani, 9/150). This hadeeth was also narrated by Imaam Muslim, where the wording is: from ‘Urwah from ‘Aa’ishah, who told him that her uncle by radaa’ah, who was called Aflah, asked permission to see her and she did not let him. She told the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he said to her, “Do not observe hijaab in front of him, because the same relationships of mahram are created by radaa’ah as by blood ties.” (Saheeh Muslim bi Sharh al-Nawawi, 10/22) A woman’s mahrams through radaa’ah are the same as her mahrams through blood ties In accordance with the Qur’aan and Sunnah, the fuqahaa’ have stated that a woman’s mahrams through radaa’ah are the same as her mahrams through blood ties. It is permissible for her to display her adornments before her mahrams by radaa’ah just as it is permissible for her to display her adornments before her mahrams by blood ties. It is permissible for her mahrams by radaa’ah to see whatever of her body it is permissible for her mahrams by blood ties to see. Mahrams by marriage A woman’s mahrams by marriage are those whom it is forever forbidden to marry, such as the father’s wife, the son’s wife or the wife’s mother. (Sharh al-Muntahaa, 3/ 7). The mahram by marriage of the father’s wife is his son 122

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from another wife, for the wife of the son it is his father, and for the mother of the wife it is the husband. Allaah says in Soorat al-Noor (interpretation of the meaning): “… and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons…” [al-Noor 24:31]. Their husband’s fathers and their husband’s sons are mahrams of the woman by marriage. Allaah mentioned them along with their (the women’s own) fathers and sons, and made them all the same in the sense that women may display their adornments in front of them. (Al-Mughni, 6/ 555) Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 4332: His grandfather’s daughter is also his paternal uncle’s wife Question: Am I classified as a Muhram for the wife of my uncle after being divorced ( she is originally my grand father daughter ) .Jazaka Allahu Khira. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Your grandfather’s daughter must necessarily be your maternal aunt (khaalah) or paternal aunt (‘ammah). If she is the daughter of your father’s father, she is your paternal aunt, and if she is the daughter of your mother’s father, then she is your maternal aunt. If she is your aunt, whether 123

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the sister of your father or the sister of your mother, then you are a mahram for her, regardless of whether she is married to your uncle or not. It seems from the question that she is the daughter of your maternal grandfather (your mother’s father). Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 316: Prohibition of a woman travelling without a mahram, and conditions of a mahram Question: Assalam O Alikium My mother is planning to go to ummrah inshallah. But she needs a mairram and her husband nor her brothers are able to go. We have asked an alm he said she can go with her brother in-law which is also her first cousin. As long as his wife is there which she will be cause she’s going too. Is this permissable in Islam because I still have my doubts. Jazak allah ho karun. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. One of the ways in which Islam protects women is that it requires a woman to travel with a mahram, to protect her from those who have bad intentions and to help her, because of her weakness, in facing the arduous trials of travelling. A woman is not permitted to travel without a mahram because of the hadeeth narrated by Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him), who reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

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“A woman should absolutely not travel unless she has a mahram with her.” A man stood up and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have enlisted in such-and-such a military campaign, and my wife has set out for Hajj.” He said, “Go and do Hajj with your wife.” (al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 3006). What indicates that a mahram is obligatory is the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded this man to give up the idea of jihaad (on this occasion), even though he had enlisted for a campaign and his wife was travelling for the purpose of worship, not for some frivolous or suspicious reason. In spite of all this, he told him to go and do Hajj with his wife. The ulamaa’ have listed five conditions for a person to be considered a mahram. He should be male, Muslim, adult, and of sound mind, and he should be a relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden, such as a father, brother, paternal uncle, maternal uncle, father in law, mother ’s husband or brother through radaa’ah (breastfeeding), etc. (as opposed to relatives to whom marriage is temporarily forbidden, such as a sister’s husband, paternal aunt’s husband, maternal aunt’s husband). On this basis, the husband’s brother and the son of a paternal or maternal uncle are not mahrams, so it is not permitted for her to travel with them. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

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2661: Ruling on marrying an uncle’s wife Question: AS-Salam Alaykum, Is it permissible for a man to marry his uncle’s wife after their divorce? What would his rights be towards the kids, since they are his cousins? Thanking you. Allah’s blessing be on you. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. A man is permitted to marry the wife of his maternal uncle, if they divorce and after she has completed her ‘iddah (waiting-period after divorce). An uncle’s wife is not a mahram (close relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden), so there is nothing wrong with marrying her. But it is forbidden for a man to have any kind of haraam relationship with his uncle’s wife. Shaytaan could make something that is bad appear attractive to them, so it is essential to exercise caution. Also, it is not permitted to make her hate her husband so that she will get divorced and one can then marry her. One should try to reconcile and reunite, not destroy and break up. In principle, it is better for the children to stay with their father and mother in one family unit, unless the interests of sharee’ah in this case dictate otherwise. If the worst comes to the worst, and they get divorced, and there is no suspicion about your role in all this, then there is nothing wrong with marrying the woman who has been divorced by your uncle. Your treatment of your uncle’s children (your cousins), if they should come under your care, should be fair and proper, based on the ties of kinship between you. 126

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If you treat them well, doing so sincerely for the sake of Allaah, then you will have a great reward from Him. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

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Chapter 4 Transactions Marriage: Conditions of Marriage 43483: Obstacles to a Christian woman marrying a Muslim man Question: I allready posted my question yesterday, but in the section “submit feedback” because I didn’t understand why this link wasn’t working. Her followes my problem/question: My boyfriend is a Muslim and has problems with his parents accepting me. They never even have met me, but his mother allready said to him several times that if he doesn’t leave me, he will never set a foot in their house again, she has treatend that they will cut him off. I don’t know what his father thinks, he talkes to his mother most of the time. (I understand that talking to a father is often difficult in the Muslim culture) I know that Muslims can mary Christians and Jews if the’re chaste, and I know that his parents aren’t permitted to cut him off just because they don’t approve of this, but what are we to do when even talking about it is out of the question ? What am I to do when they judge me before they even got to know me ? We are boy- and girlfriend and that isn’t acceptable in Islam, but we would like to mary. (Our kids will be raised as Muslims and I’m planning to learn more about the Islam so that there’s no confusion) My boyfriend doesn’t want to hurt anyone, especially not his parents, he has great respect for them. He can’t make his parents see that he loves me so much and that I’m a good girl. Also I can’t help him and talk to them, because he said that it’s not allowed to bring a woman/girl into his parents house. How 128

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can I help him with this ? Why is’t talking about it possible ? How can you solve problems when you can’t even have a discussion ? Didn’t Allah create people so they would know one another ? I believe in God/Allah, I’m trying to be a good person and pray every day. My parents raised me as a christian, but sinds I got to know a little bit about the Islam I can’t believe in the christian’s ways anymore. I think that the Islam is for me, but my boyfriend and I agreed that we concentrate on this when our problem – accepting of his parents of us - is solved. I want my relation with Allah to be pure and not being influenced by other things; A boyfriend can not be the reason why I should accept the Islam in my life, can it ? Am I to blame when I accept the islam – and keep on believing in Allah as I do now- to make things easyer for us, because the parents want that. I know a good Muslim not only thinks about him-/her-self and has to think about all the people around him/her, but I can’t accept the fact that our love has to end, just because his parents want this. Is this the will of Allah ? Please give us advise on what to do. Why can’t they talk to me ? How can we make them understand that they cannot judge before they even know me ? And do you have any advise for him, is it going to be a very difficult dicision. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We ask Allaah to guide you and to show you the right path, for He is Able to do that. Firstly: We thank you for submitting your question to this Islamic website, which indicates that you have trust and are keen to find out the correct answer.

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Secondly: A number of the things that you find strange, as mentioned in your question, are regarded by us Muslims as normal, whereas others find them objectionable. The reason is well known among the Muslims: the attitude of worldview of the Muslim is based on full submission to the rulings of Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and total obedience to Allaah, the Creator, the Provider, the Giver of life and death, because He has enjoined that upon us, and He knows best what is right for us. For example: you find it very strange that your boyfriend’s parents denounce the relationship between you, because according to the way you were brought up and what you are used to in the non-Islamic society in which you live, you think that this relationship is something natural and normal, in which two human souls come together and feel at ease with one another and satisfy their physical inclinations; he does things for you and you do things for him in return, and he speaks softly to you and you speak softly to him, and you can exchange gifts, etc. Islam does not forbid kind words, good treatment and gift-giving, but a Muslim man should not be alone with a non-mahram woman [i.e., one who is not a close blood relative] and be intimate with her outside the framework of marriage, because the evil consequences and harm that that leads to, such as loss of chastity, committing zina (unlawful sexual relationship), the violation of honour, conception of illegitimate children and confusion of lineage, are far worse than nice relationships and the exchange of gifts. If it were not for the intimacy you are seeking from one another, the nice treatment you are giving to one another would not have taken place. 130

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Also if there is the firm intention and resolve to get married in the future and have children who will grow up as Muslims, that still does not justify this forbidden relationship which involves many things that are forbidden in Islam. We wonder, if the relationship is so deep and strong, and you have the sincere intention of getting married, why don’t you both repent from this forbidden relationship and immediately enter upon a proper, legitimate relationship as allowed in Islam, based on marriage which Allaah has prescribed. The Islamic marriage contract is not something difficult or complicated, rather it is very easy. See question no. 2127 and 813 for more information about the marriage contract in Islam. Thirdly: It is not true that speaking to one’s father is difficult among Muslims. There is no society that is more distinguished by its strong family ties than the Muslim societies. Indeed, a quick glance at the state of the family in the west will show that sons are far away from their parents and the parents’ rights are not respected, let alone what that leads to of children being neglected and daughters being lost. Islam enjoins children to show respect to their parents, as non-Muslims who do not enjoy such a relationship realize. Because the mother tends to be gentle, loving and compassionate towards her children, and the father tends be to strict and take a rational and unemotional approach towards things, many children find it easier to talk to their mothers than to their fathers, especially with regard to emotional problems. But that does not mean that it is difficult for Muslims to talk to their fathers. But some people may have been brought up in a way that was not entirely right, which may have affected some of 131

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their behaviour and attitudes, but only in a general sense. The Muslim is supposed to love his fellow-Muslim who is a stranger, so what about one who is close to him – what about sons and fathers? Each of them should care about the interests of the other and love that which is best for him. This brings us to the second point: which is that his parents’ objection to this marriage does not mean that they are trying to control their son and does not mean that they have judged you without seeing you. Rather any father – and especially in a Muslim society – wants the best life for his son, and because the father has greater experience of life and has lived longer, and he knows how things are, he does not want his son to do something reckless which he may later regret. The father will try to keep his son away from everything that may be labeled a failure, so he does not want him to embark on something risky such as this marriage, because marriage in Islam is a strong relationship which does not just last for a limited time like the forbidden love of boyfriends and girlfriends; rather it is a relationship between the two spouses which should be ongoing and stable. So the choice (of a marriage partner) should only be made after much serious consideration and consultation with those who know more about life than we do. Naturally the difference of religion will be a cause of division between spouses, or will cause problems in the future, especially when children come along. We have heard of many such problems on this site. Yes, Islam does not forbid a Muslim man to marry a chaste Christian or Jewish woman; Islam allows that, but it does not encourage it. Our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) urged us to choose a wife who is righteous, religiously committed and has a good attitude. Hence the fact that his parents have rejected this marriage 132

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was not a hasty judgement, rather it was because they know how things are. You may say, “My marriage to this man will be different, but they don’t realize that.” Again I say: it will be different, but no father wants his son to go through an experience he does not need, especially when the current relationship between you is forbidden according to Islam. Fourthly: You ask, Will there by any blame on me if I accept Islam – outwardly – and continue to believe in Allaah as I do now? The answer is that this is a serious matter. Our pure monotheistic religion cannot be toyed with, or used for personal motives. Hence one of the basic principles of this religion is: “There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path has become distinct from the wrong path. Whoever disbelieves in Taaghoot and believes in Allaah, then he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold that will never break” [al-Baqarah 2:256] If a person enters the religion of Allaah as a game with no serious intent, he deserves the curse of Allaah and he will be with the disbelievers, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Verily, the hypocrites will be in the lowest depth (grade) of the Fire”[al-Nisa’ 4:145] Fifthly:

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This problem may be solved in several ways, the first, best and quickest of which is for you to start to learn what Islam really is, the comprehensive nature of this religion, and how it is in accordance with the sound nature of man. So learn about the religion of Islam, for no other reason than to find out the truth and to get out of the vicious circle of confusing ideas and beliefs that go against sound nature and reason. Then – if you strive hard – you will come to know the clear truth and the light of certain faith, and the matter of marriage will become easy for you – if Allaah wills. There is nothing wrong with your marriage to this man being a reason for you finding out about Islam. But if you take this first step, it is better and more appropriate than getting married and then thinking about Islam. If the family consists of two Muslim spouses from the outset, then Allaah will bless it and care for it, and they will be the basis of a family that is beloved to Allaah, because it is Muslim. Perhaps if you and your boyfriend announce that you have repented and get married according to Islamic sharee’ah, this will reduce his parents’ worries and negative attitude. If you tell them that you have entered Islam, then the One Who is more important than anyone else will be pleased with that, namely Allaah, may He be exalted. If you please Allaah, no matter whom you anger among your family, He will be pleased with you and will cause people to be pleased with you. It may be appropriate – but you need to think about this and choose the right time– for you to visit his mother yourself, without your boyfriend being with you, so you 134

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can tell her that you are keen to enter Islam and repent from this forbidden relationship, and marry her son according to the laws of Allaah. As we have mentioned above, Islam allows marriage to chaste non-Muslim women, so why not start to live a chaste and pure life, far away from any relationship that goes against that? Your saying that your boyfriend cannot be the reason why you accept Islam is true in a sense, in that you will become Muslim not for love of this person but for love of the truth and love of Allaah Who has chosen Islam as the religion for mankind. The evidence for this is clear and does not need a strong emotional motive, because the evidence and proof of the truth is sufficient. We must not forget, before ending this answer, to commend the phrase you used in your question, which is, “Since I got to know a little bit about Islam I can’t believe in the Christians’ ways any more.” This indicates that you are very close to the truth and that your conviction is taking the right shape, and that truth and falsehood cannot reside together in your heart. This is a good sign. Ask Allaah to guide you to the path of truth and to open your eyes to the light. May Allaah guide you to the straight path. And Allaah knows best. For more information please see questions no. 33656, 20884. 2527. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 135

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48992: A new Muslimah has married a Muslim man without her family’s knowledge Question: I am a Chinese girl married to a Lebanese Muslim man. The main reason for this is that I have become Muslim… we got married in the Islamic manner, but this marriage was done without the knowledge of our families, because of some difficult circumstances. Do you think that this is haraam? I mean, is it against the Qur’aan?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The evidence from the Qur’aan and Sunnah indicates that a woman should not get married without a wali (guardian) to look after her and protect her interests, lest she be deceived by the devils among men. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Wed them with the permission of their own folk (guardians, Awliyaa’ or masters)” [al-Nisa’ 4:25] It was narrated from Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid) marriage without a wali (guardian).” Narrated by the five and classed as saheeh by Ibn alMadeeni. Al-Tirmidhi said: This is the correct view concerning this issue, based on the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “There is no marriage without a wali (guardian),” according to the scholars 136

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among the companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), such as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas, Abu Hurayrah and others. If one of your close male relatives is a Muslim, such as your father, brother, uncle or cousin, then he is your wali with regard to marriage, and your marriage is not valid without his permission and consent. He should do the marriage contract for you himself or appoint someone to do it on his behalf. If all your close male relatives are non-Muslims, then a kaafir cannot be the wali (guardian) of a Muslim. Ibn Qudaamah said: With regard to a kaafir, he cannot be the wali of a Muslim in any situation, according to scholarly consensus. Ibn al-Mundhir said: Those from whom we acquired knowledge are unanimously agreed on that. Imam Ahmad said: We have heard that ‘Ali allowed a marriage done by a brother, but he rejected a marriage done by a father who was a Christian. Al-Mughni, 7/356. And a Muslim cannot be a guardian for the marriage of his kaafir children’s marriage. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was asked about a man who had become Muslim; could he still be a wali for his children who were people of the Book? He replied: He cannot be their guardian with regard to marriage, or with regard to inheritance. A Muslim cannot do the marriage contract for a kaafir woman, whether she is his daughter or anyone else. And a kaafir cannot inherit from a Muslim or a Muslim from a kaafir. This is the view of the four imams and their companions among the earlier and later generations. Allaah has severed the ties 137

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of guardianship between believers and disbelievers in His Book, and has decreed that they should have nothing to do with one another, and that the ties of wilaayah (guardianship) exist among the believers. (32/35) But a Muslim woman should tell her family about that and seek their approval, so that this will help to open their hearts to Islam. The question here is: what should a Muslim woman who does not have a Muslim wali do? The answer is: A Muslim who is in a position of authority or status should do the marriage contract for her, such as the head of an Islamic centre, the imam of a mosque, or a scholar. If she cannot find anyone like this, then she should appoint a Muslim man of good character to do the marriage contract for her. Shaykh al-Islam said: In the case of a woman who does not have a wali among her relatives, if there is in her locality a representative of the ruler or the chief of the village, or a leader who is obeyed, then he can do the marriage contract for her with her permission. (32/35). Ibn Qudaamah said: If a woman does not have a wali or a ruler, then there is a report narrated from Ahmad which indicates that a man of good character may do the marriage contract for her with her permission. (7/352). Al-Juwayni said: If she does not have a wali present, and there is no (Muslim) ruler, then we know definitively that closing the door of marriage is impossible in sharee’ah, and whoever has any doubt about that does not have a proper understanding of sharee’ah. To suggest that the door of marriage may be closed is as bad as suggesting 138

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that people may be prevented from earning a living. AlGhayaathi 388. Then he stated that the ones who should do that (do marriage contracts for women who have no wali) are the scholars. Conclusion: If the marriage contract was done in this manner, and the imam of an Islamic Centre in your country or a Muslim man of good character did the marriage, then your marriage is valid. But if you did the marriage yourself (with no wali) then you have to go with your husband to the nearest Islamic centre and repeat the nikaah (marriage contract), and let the head of the centre, for example, be your wali in marriage. With regard to your husband, he does not have to tell his family, because there is no stipulation that the husband should have a wali. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 45645: A realistic look at marriage to women of the People of the Book Question: Does a Muslim man have the right to marry a Christian or Jewish woman as the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Maariyah al-Qibtiyyah?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 139

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The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not marry Maariyah al-Qibtiyyah, rather she was his concubine. The Muqawqis, the ruler of Egypt, gave her as gift to him after the Treaty of al-Hudaybiyah. It is permissible to have intercourse with a slave woman, even if she is not Muslim, because she is part of “what one’s right hand possesses,” and Allaah has permitted “what one’s right hand possesses” without stipulating that the slave woman be a Muslim. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts) 6. Except from their wives or (the slaves) that their right hands possess,.. for then, they are free from blame” [alMu’minoon 23:5-6] With regard to marrying a Christian or Jewish woman, this is permissible according to the text of the Qur’aan. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Made lawful to you this day are AtTayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends” [al-Maa’idah 5:5] 140

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Ibn al-Qayyim said: It is permissible to marry a woman from the People of the Book. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste [muhsan] women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time” [al-Maa’idah 5:5] Muhsan here means chaste; the same word is also used in Soorat al-Nisa’ to describe married women, who are forbidden in marriage to anyone else. And it was said that the chaste women to whom marriage is permitted is free women, so slave women from the People of the Book are not permissible. However, the first view is the one which is correct, for several reasons… The point is that Allaah has permitted us to marry chaste women from among the People of the Book, and the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did that. ‘Uthmaan married a Christian woman, as did Talhah ibn ‘Ubayd-Allaah; and Hudhayfah married a Jewish woman. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ahmad said: I asked my father about a Muslim man who married a Christian or Jewish woman. He said: I do not like for him to do it, but if he does, then some of the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did that too. Ahkaam Ahl al-Dhimmah, 2/794, 795. Although we say that it is permissible, and we do not doubt that there is a clear text concerning that, nevertheless we do not think that a Muslim should marry a kitaabi woman (a woman of the people of the Book), for several reasons:

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1 – One of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi woman is that she should be chaste, but there are very few chaste women to be found in those environments. 2 – One of the conditions of marriage to a kitaabi woman is that the Muslim man should be in charge of the family. But what happens nowadays in that those who marry women from kaafir countries marry them under their laws, and there is a great deal of injustice in their systems. They do not recognize a Muslim’s authority over his wife and children, and if the wife gets angry with her husband she will destroy his household and take the children away, with the support of the laws of her land and with the help of their embassies in most countries. It is no secret that the Muslim countries have no power to resist the pressure of those countries and their embassies. 3 – The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged us to look for Muslim wives who are religiously committed. If a woman is Muslim but is not religiously committed and of good character, then the Muslim is not encouraged to marry her, because marriage is not simply the matter of physical enjoyment only, rather it is the matter of Allaah’s rights and the spouse’s rights, and preserving his household, his honour and his wealth, and bringing up his children. How can a man who marries a kitaabi woman be certain that his sons and daughters will be raised according to Islam when he is leaving them in the hands of this mother who does not believe in Allaah and associates others with Him? Hence even though we say that it is permissible to marry a kitaabi woman, it is not encouraged and we do not advise it, because of the negative consequences that result from that. The wise Muslim should choose the best woman to bear his children and think in the long term about his children and their religious upbringing. He should not let his desire or worldly interests or transient outward beauty 142

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blind him to reality; true beauty is the beauty of religious commitment and good morals. He should realize that if he forsakes these type of women for the sake of that which is better for his religious commitment and that of his children, Allaah will compensate him with something better, because “Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better than that, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us, the one who speaks the truth and does not speak of his own whims and desires. Allaah is the source of strength and the One Who guides to the Straight Path. See also the answer to question no. 2527 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 44695: Are the Jews and Christians who exist nowadays mushrikeen (polytheists) and is it permissible to marry their women? Question: What is the ruling on marrying a Jewish or Christian woman? Are the Jews and Christians of this age regarded as people of the Book or as mushrikeen?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Marriage to a Jewish or Christian woman is permissible 143

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according to the view of the majority of scholars. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in alMughni (7/99): There is no difference of opinion among the scholars concerning the permissibility of marrying free women of the people of the Book. Among those from whom this view was narrated are ‘Umar, ‘Uthmaan, Talhah, Hudhayfah, Salmaan, Jaabir, and others. Ibn al-Mundhir said: There is no sound narration from any of the earliest generation to suggest that this is haraam. Al-Khallaal narrated, with his isnaad, that Hudhayfah, Talhah, al-Jaarood ibn al-Mu’alla and Udhaynah al-‘Abdi all married women from among the people of the Book. This was also the view of the rest of the scholars. The main evidence concerning that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Made lawful to you this day are At Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, [i.e. in the Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith i.e. His (Allaah’s) Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and Al Qadar (Divine

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Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work; and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers” [al-Maa’idah 5:5] What is meant by muhsanah (translated here as chaste) is free and chaste women. Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer: This is the view of the majority here, and this is what appears to be the case; lest she not only be a dhimmiyah but also unchaste, in which case she will be totally corrupt and her husband will end up as described in the proverb, “He bought bad dates and was cheated in weights and measures too”. The apparent meaning of the verse is that what is meant by al-muhsanaat (chaste women) is women who refrain from zina, as Allaah says in another verse (interpretation of the meaning): “they (the above said slave-girls) should be chaste [muhsanaat], not committing illegal sex, nor taking boyfriends” [al-Nisa’ 4:25] The Christians and Jews are kuffaar and mushrikeen, according to the Qur’aan, but they are excluded from the prohibition on marrying their women, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you” [al-Baqarah 2:221] This is the clearest way of reconciling between the two verses. 145

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Allaah has described them as being mushrikeen as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “They (Jews and Christians) took their rabbis and their monks to be their lords besides Allaah (by obeying them in things which they made lawful or unlawful according to their own desires without being ordered by Allaah), and (they also took as their Lord) Messiah, son of Maryam (Mary), while they (Jews and Christians) were commanded [in the Tawraat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel)] to worship none but One Ilaah (God — Allaah) Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He). Praise and glory be to Him (far above is He) from having the partners they associate (with Him)” [al-Tawbah 9:31] So they are kuffaar and mushrikeen, but Allaah has permitted us to eat their meat and to marry their women if they are chaste. This is an exemption from the general meaning of the verse in Soorat al-Baqarah. But it should be noted that it is better and safer not to marry women of the people of the Book, especially nowadays. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “… as this is the case, it is better not to marry a woman of the people of the Book, because ‘Umar said to those who married women of the people of the Book: ‘Divorce them,’ so they divorced them, except Hudhayfah. ‘Umar said to him: ‘Divorce her.’ (Hudhayfah) said: ‘Do you bear witness that she is haraam?’ He said: ‘She is a live coal, divorce her.’ He said: ‘Do you bear witness that she is haraam?’ He said: ‘She is a live coal.’ He said: ‘I know that she is a live coal, but she is permissible for me.’ A while later, he divorced her and it was said to him: ‘Why did you not divorce her when ‘Umar commanded you to?’ He said: ‘I did not want the people to think that I had done something wrong (by marrying her).’ Perhaps 146

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he was fond of her or perhaps they had a child together so he was fond of her.” Al-Mughni, 7/99 Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “If the woman of the people of the Book is known to be chaste and to keep away from the means that lead to immorality, it is permissible, because Allaah has permitted that and has permitted us to marry their woman and eat their meat. “But nowadays there is the fear that those who marry them may be faced with much evil. They may call him to their religion and that may lead to their children being raised as Christians. So the danger is very real and very serious. To be on the safe side, the believer should not marry them. And in most cases there is no guarantee that the woman will not commit immoral actions, or bring along children from a previous relationship… but if the man needs to do that then there is no sin on him, so that he can keep himself chaste and lower his gaze by being married to her. He should strive to call her to Islam and beware of her evil and of allowing her to drag him or the children towards kufr.” Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/172 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 12708: Is it acceptable to marry a girl who has not yet started her menses? Question: I have not yet reached the age of puberty. Is it correct that 147

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a girl could get married before her menses start, or is that just a traditional myth?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: Marriage to a young girl before she reaches puberty is permissible according to sharee’ah, and it was narrated that there was scholarly consensus on this point. 1 – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise” [al-Talaaq 65:4] In this verse we see that Allaah states that for those who do not menstruate – because they are young and have not yet reached the age of puberty – the ‘iddah in the case of divorce is three months. This clearly indicates that it is permissible for a young girl who has not started her periods to marry. Al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The interpretation of the verse “And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah 148

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(prescribed period) is three months likewise”. He said: The same applies to the ‘idaah for girls who do not menstruate because they are too young, if their husbands divorce them after consummating the marriage with them. Tafseer al-Tabari, 14/142 2 – It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her when she was six years old, and consummated the marriage with her when she was nine, and she stayed with him for nine years. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4840; Muslim, 1422. Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: The scholars are unanimously agreed that a father may marry off his young daughter without consulting her. The Messenger of Allaah married ‘Aa’ishah bint Abi Bakr when she was young, six or seven years old, when her father married her to him. Al-Istidhkaar, 16/49-50. Secondly: The fact that it is permissible to marry a minor girl does not imply that it is permissible to have intercourse with her, rather the husband should not have intercourse with her until she becomes able for that. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) delayed consummating the marriage to ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 149

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22760: Do I have to obey my father in choosing a husband, and how can I make him more even-tempered? Question: I have a question about marriage, my father believes that being Bengali, he’s daughters should only get married to a Bengali man, the thing is, my dad likes to be a pillar of society and likes to have control over everything we do, Can you give me proof that it is ok for the daughters to choose who they get married to, despite whether they are Pakistani, Indian or Bengali, as long as he is good in terms of religion and suitability, my father believes that girl’s haven’t got the right to choos who they get married to, only he does, but I think the people he chooses are only chosen for the fact that they will give him a good name and because he they are Bengali. Is it possible for the girl to make her own choice in terms of who she gets married to if she finds a suitabaly compatible, religious and good man of a different nationality with similar status and wealth, even if her dad doesn’t like him because of his nationality? Also my father is very controlling, picking and choosing what he wishes to believe in terms of religion, he likes to show off his wealth and power and build his name, can you give me any supplications which will help to make him a more mild mannered and diplomatic man? I would be very grateful if you could help me in this matter. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: The presence of the wali (guardian) is one of the 150

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conditions of marriage, and a woman’s marriage is not valid unless this condition is met. This is the correct view and is the view of the majority of scholars. See question no. 2127. The person who has the most right to be a woman’s guardian is her father, but if it is proven that he is not qualified for this role then it moves to the next closest relative, such as her grandfather for example. For more information on this issue, with evidence, please see question no. 7193 and 31119. Secondly: With regard to the conditions and qualities that should be present in the husband, the most important of these is religious commitment. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry [your daughter or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that there will be fitnah (tribulation) on earth and much corruption.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1005) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1084. See also question no. 6942 and 5202. Thirdly: One of the shar’i conditions of marriage is the consent of the wife, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “A previously-married woman should not be married without consulting her and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how does she give her permission?” He said, “If she remains silent.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4741; Muslim, 2543.

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No one has the right to force a girl to marry anyone, but at the same time she does not have the right to get married without her guardian’s permission. The presence of the guardian is an important condition for a marriage to be valid, but a girl should not be forced into marrying someone who she does not want to marry, and she is not regarded as disobeying her parents in this case. Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said: “The parents do not have the right to force their son to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient, like eating something that he does not want.” Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 344 Fourthly: With regard to your father and the way he is, we offer the following advice: (i) Make du’aa’ for him in his absence. There is no specific du’aa’, so pray to Allaah to reform him and open his heart. (ii) Seek the help of some of your father’s friends or relatives whom you trust to try to change him. (iii) Give him some books or tapes in your language that will encourage him to have a good attitude and warn him against the opposite, and give them as a gift using a good approach when you do so. Allaah may make this a cause of his reforming. We ask Allaah to help you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)

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40496: Ruling on marrying a women when she is menstruating Question: Is it permissible to enter into the marriage contract with a woman when she has her monthly period?. Answer:

Praise be to Allaah. The basic principle concerning that is that it is permissible. There is nothing to suggest that it is not allowed in the Qur’aan, Sunnah, scholarly consensus, words of the Sahaabah or correct analogy. I do not know of any scholar who regarded that as haraam or makrooh. But some of the fuqaha’ regarded it as makrooh for a woman to have the wedding party if she is menstruating, lest her husband have intercourse with her at that time and thus fall into sin. The common folk confuse the ruling on this matter with the ruling on divorcing a woman when she is menstruating; there is nothing in common between the two. It is permissible to marry a woman when she is menstruating, according to consensus, and it is haraam to divorce a menstruating woman with whom one has had intercourse, according to consensus. Shaykh Sulaymaan ibn Naasir al-‘Alwaan (www.islam-qa.com) 153

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22737: Announcing marriages Question: In reading a Q/A about marriage, the part of the answer stated to ‘announce marriages.’What is the reason behind this statement?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Announcing marriages is obligatory and the reason for that is: 1 – The Sunnah enjoins this, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce this marriage.” Narrated by Ahmad and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1072. 2 – So as to distinguish the valid shar’i marriage that is enjoined by Islam from immorality, because zina is done secretly, whereas legitimate marriage is that which is proclaimed openly, so as to distinguish the one from the other. This is the wisdom behind announcing marriages. Dr. Khaalid ibn ‘Ali al-Mushayqih (www.islam-qa.com) 5333: Paying the girl’s dowry with her brother’s money Question: Suppose if a parents have Son and Daughter and after long search they found a husband for their daughters but 154

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bridegroom is requesting for a dowry but the parents are not affordable to pay them, so they try to get dowry for their son in order to pay for their daughter. Certainly they are not going to use this money except to give dowry for their daughter marriage. I like to through some lights and give us proper guidence to handle this situation. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is very strange indeed that in some countries the dowry is paid by the bride or her family to the groom or his family. This is contrary to the Islamic principle, because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded a man who was getting married to give a dowry even if it was an iron ring, and when he did not even have that, he made the dowry that he would teach her what he had memorized of the Qur’aan. What is important is that in the marriage contract something should be mentioned as the dowry, even if it is little. It was narrated that Sahl ibn Sa’d said: A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “I give myself to you (in marriage).” He paused for a while, then a man said, “Marry her to me, if you have no need of her.” He said, “Do you have anything you can give to her as a dowry?” He said, “I do not have anything but my izaar (lower garment).” He said, “If you give that to her, you will not have any lower garment. Think of something.” He said, “I cannot think of anything.” He said, “Think of something, even if it is an iron ring.” But he did not have anything. (The 155

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Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) said, “Have you memorized anything of the Qur’aan?” He said, “Yes, Soorah such and such, and Soorah such and such” – and he named the soorahs. He said: “We marry her to you on the basis of what you have memorized of the Qur’aan [i.e., that you teach it to her].” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4842; Muslim, 1425) This hadeeth indicates that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not agree to the man marrying without a dowry to give to the woman; he did not ask the woman for anything. Moreover, the concept of qawaamah (being maintainers and protectors of women) that Allaah has enjoined on men implies that the man is the one who gives the mahr to the woman, because he is her supporter and she is his dependent. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisa’ 4:34] Moreover, the mahr is the woman’s right, because the man enjoys intimate relations with her, and the mahr is paid in return for that intimacy. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “…so with those of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed…” [al-Nisa’ 4:24]

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Imam Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The phrase “so with those of whom you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed” means, as you are going to enjoy intimacy with them, then give them their dowries in return for that, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other” [al-Nisa’ 4:21] “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [al-Nisa’ 4:4] “And it is not lawful for you (men) to take back (from your wives) any of your Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) which you have given them” [al-Baqarah 2:229] Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/475 It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If the marriage has been consummated then the mahr is hers, because she has permitted (the man) to be intimate with her. If (the guardian) refuses to arrange her marriage, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” Abu ‘Eesa al-Tirmidhi said: this is a hasan hadeeth.

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From this we can see that the dowry is to be paid by the man to the woman, not by the woman to the man. Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qa’ood said: “The mahr is the right of the wife, and it must be defined. The wife or her family do not have to pay anything unless they do so voluntarily.” Based on this, it is not permissible for you to take from your son’s money and give it as a dowry for your daughter. Shaykh al-Barraak said: “If it is not permissible for the son to take the dowry in the first place, it is not permissible to take it for the daughter.” If you fear Allaah, Allaah will grant a way out for your daughter. So she has to be patient and seek reward, and turn to Allaah and make du’aa’. If a person thinks of Allaah in positive terms, he will find that Allaah is as he thinks. The scholars, prominent figures and the ordinary people in your country have to strive to change this bad custom and follow the Sunnah, and to do the right thing and follow the right way which no one is permitted to go against. That is by establishing proof to the people from the Qur’aan and Sunnah and the words of the scholars. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 26069: Marrying a second wife when one is not able to take care of two wives Question: One man (muslim of course) much older than me (20 158

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years)proposed me the merriage but he is not divorced with his first women. He helped me many times in my life and showed me the first steps towards Islam. My father and mother are mulims but they didn’t learn me something about praying, fasting or zekat. That brother is going to have two womens but he is not able to take care about both of them. I asked my cemaat about this problem and some people gave the positive answer some of them don’t accept it. I feel respect for that brother but I am not sure that I can live with him. Could you give me the advice, please?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Allaah has enjoined certain things on a man who wants to marry more than one wife, which he must fulfil before he marries a second wife. One of these things is that he should be able treat them both fairly with regard to spending, staying overnight and providing accommodation. If he knows that he is unable to do that or that it is most likely that he cannot do so, it is not permissible for him to marry more than one wife. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice” [al-Nisa’ 4:3] Mujaahid said: do not deliberately try to mistreat any of 159

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them, rather adhere to equal treatment with regard to dividing your time and spending, because this is something that a man can do. Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 5/407 Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: As for fairness with regard to spending and clothing, this is the Sunnah, following the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He treated his wives equally with regard to spending just as he did with regard to dividing his time amongst them. Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/269 Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: [The Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to treat them equally with regard to spending the night with them, providing accommodation and spending on them… but it is not obligatory to treat them equally with regard to that – i.e., love and intercourse – because that is something that a man has no control over. Zaad al-Ma’aad, 1/151 Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said: If he provides each one of them with sufficient clothing, maintenance and accommodation, it does not matter what he does after that of being more inclined towards one of them or giving gifts to them… Al-Fath, 9/391 This is what Allaah has enjoined upon the one who wants to marry more than one wife. If a man is able to do that, there is nothing wrong with agreeing to marry him. If he is not, then we do not advise marrying him, rather it is not permissible for him to propose marriage in the first place. 160

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With regard to your saying that he is not able to take care of two wives, if he is religiously-committed and of good character, and you can be patient and put up with some hardships in life, then there is nothing wrong with your agreeing to marry him. Allaah has promised the poor man who wants to get married that He will make him independent of means. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty” [al-Noor 24:32] Some of the salaf used to get married seeking provision, acting in accordance with this verse. But if you think that you will not be able to put up with some hardships in life, then there is nothing wrong with your refusing to marry him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised Faatimah bint Qays, when Mu’aawiyah (may Allaah be pleased with him) proposed to her, not to marry him. He said, “He is a pauper and has no money.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1480). We hope that there will be no unlawful relationship between you, either now or after you refuse to marry him. If he has done you some favour by showing you the right path and teaching you, that is no justification for meeting, corresponding, speaking in private and so on. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 7989: He married a woman without a guardian Question: I am in a foreign land and married a Christian girl who is 161

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also a foreigner in that country. Both of us do not have any relatives or friends or contacts in that country. I proposed to her and she accepted so I read the marriage statements and she accepted and than I read the marriage statement for my acceptance. I forgot the Mehr in statement but later paid some amount to her. There was no guardian for her as she is adult and independent and we could not arrange any witness. Question is: 1. Whether this is a valid religious marriage and is it not sin in Islam as we do not care for the social or legal aspect because we are foreigners. In other word we married keeping in view our God and do not want to be punished by God on day of judgment. (We lived like man & wife for some days). 2. As I was not sure about religious aspect of this marriage, we mutually decided that I should divorce her, and I did. Is it OK? 3. Do I need to marry her again if our marriage was not OK, in front of witnesses and any Guardian / Wali to relieve myself of any sin. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: It is not permissible for a man to marry a woman without the permission of her guardian, whether she is a virgin or previously-married. This is the view of the majority of scholars, including al-Shaafa’i, Maalik and Ahmad. This is based on evidence which includes the following: The verses in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 162

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“do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands” [al-Baqarah 2:232] “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone)” [al-Baqarah 2:221] “and marry those among you who are single” [al-Noor 24:32] The point here is that these verses clearly stipulate that there be a guardian in marriage, because Allaah is addressing the guardian with regard to the marriage of the woman under his care. If the matter were up to her and not him, there would be no need to address him. It is indicative of Imam al-Bukhaari’s deep understanding of issues of sharee’ah that he quoted these verses in a chapter which he entitled “Baab man qaala la nikaaha illa bi wali (Chapter on those who say that there is no marriage without a guardian).” It was narrated that Abu Moosa said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a guardian.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn Maajah, 1881. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1/318) It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage 163

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is invalid. But if the marriage is consummated then the mahr is hers because she has allowed him to be intimate with her. If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1840) Secondly: If her guardian prevents her from marrying the person she wants for no valid reason according to sharee’ah, then the role of guardian passes to the next closest relative, so it passes from the father to the grandfather, for example. Thirdly: if all of her guardians prevent her from getting married for no valid reason according to sharee’ah, then the ruler is her guardian, because of the hadeeth quoted above (“…If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian”) Fourthly: if there is no guardian and no ruler, then her marriage is to be arranged by a man who has authority in the place where she is, such as the head of a village, or the governor of a province, and so on. If there is no such person, then she should appoint a trustworthy Muslim man to arrange her marriage. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If there is no relative who can act as her guardian, then the position of guardian passes to the one who is most fit among those who have any kind of authority in matters other than marriage, such as the head of a village, the leader of a caravan, and so on. Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, p. 350. Ibn Qudaamah said: If a woman does not have a guardian and there is no ruler, then there was narrated from Ahmad 164

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that which indicates that her marriage should be arranged by a man of sound character, with her permission. Al-Mughni, 9/362. Shaykh ‘Umar al-Ashqar said: If there is no ruler of the Muslims, or if the woman is in a place where the Muslims have no ruler, and she has no guardian at all, like the Muslims in America and elsewhere, if there are Islamic institutions in that country that take care of the Muslims’ affairs, then they should arrange her marriage. The same applies if the Muslims have a leader who is in charge or someone who is responsible for their affairs. Al-Waadih fi Sharh Qanoon al-Ahwaal al-Shakhsiyyah al-Urduni, p. 70 The marriage contract must be witnessed by two adult male Muslims of sound mind. See question no. 2127. Hence you have to repeat your marriage contract, and it is essential that the woman’s guardian be present, as stated above, as well as two witnesses. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 6402: A kaafir married a Muslim woman then he became Muslim Question: A hindu married a muslim widow. After some years, attracted by the islamic manners of his wife, has converted 165

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himself to islam. Do they have to their remake the Nikah, or the one they made earlier when he was a hindu and she a muslim is sufficient? Muslims in india are reciting Salawat un Naria 4444 times to get rewards and to avoid calamities. Eventhough we explained that it is enough to do Salawaat to Muhammed (PBUH) as he prescribed and not to recite Salawaat un Naria, they continue reciting, saying there is no harm in it. Is it permissible to recite and also please explain in detail if there is any shirk associated in the meaning of Salawaat un naria. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The marriage of a Muslim woman to a kaafir, no matter what his religion, is invalid according to sharee’ah and their intimacy is tantamount to fornication. They must be separated, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave” [al-Baqarah 2:221] And Allaah says, stating that the Muslim women are not 166

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permissible in marriage for kaafir men (interpretation of the meaning): “They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10] Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his book al-Jaami’ li Ahkaam al-Qur’aan (3/72): The ummah is unanimously agreed that a kaafir man cannot marry a Muslim woman at all because that undermines the position of Islam. But if the man becomes a Muslim – as mentioned in the question – then he must re-marry the woman with a new marriage contract, because the first marriage contract was invalid and does not count for anything in sharee’ah. Shaykh ‘Atiyah Muhammad Saalim said in his completion of the book Adwa’ al-Bayaan, 8/164-165: Why is it permissible for a Muslim man to marry a kaafir woman from among the People of the Book (i.e., Jews and Christians), but it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man from among the People of the Book? This question may be answered from two angles: 1 – That Islam should prevail and not be prevailed over. The role of maintainer and protector in marriage belongs exclusively to the husband, so the man may influence his wife and she may not be able to practice her religion as she should, and she may leave her religion altogether. Similarly the children will follow the religion of their father. 2 – Islam is comprehensive and other religions are limited, 167

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on which there is based a social matter that affects family life and the relationship between the spouses. This means is that if a Muslim man marries a Jewish or Christian woman, he believes in her Book and her Prophet, so he will deal with her on a basis of respect for her religion because he believes in it in general terms, and that will give them some common ground which may lead to her becoming Muslim as her own Book tells her. But if a Jewish or Christian man marries a Muslim woman, he does not believe in her religion so he will not have any respect towards her religion or her principles. There is no room for common ground with him with regard to something that he does not believe in at all. So there is no room for harmony or mutual understanding; there is no goodness in such a marriage, so it is forbidden in the first place. So they must make a new marriage contract. And Allaah knows best. With regard to the question about al-Salaah al-Naariyyah, please see question no. 7505. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 21380: Ruling on a Muslim man marrying a non-Muslim woman and vice versa Question: I have some questions about Islam, could you explain them for me? Is it permissible for someone who follows Islam to marry someone who does not follows Islam without that person converting to Islam after marriage?. 168

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman if she is Christian or Jewish, but it is not permissible for him to marry a non-Muslim woman who follows any religion other than these two. The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Made lawful to you this day are AtTayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends” [al-Maa’idah 5:4] Imam al-Tabari said in his commentary on this verse: “chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture” means, free woman among those whom have been given the Scripture, namely the Jews and Christians who believe in what is in the Tawraat (Torah) and Injeel (Gospel) from among the people who came before you, O believers in Muhammad, whether from among the Arabs or other people; you are permitted to marry them “when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” which means, if you give to those 169

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whom you marry of your (Muslims’) chaste women and their (Jews’ and Christians’) chaste women their mahrs or dowries.” (Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 6/104) But it is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry a Magian (Zoroastrian) woman or a communist woman or an idol-worshipping woman, etc. The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you” [al-Baqarah 2:221] A mushrikah is an idol-worshipping woman who worships stones, whether from among the Arabs or others. It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a nonMuslim from any other religion, whether from among the Jews or Christians, or any other kaafir religion. It is not permissible for her to marry a Jew, a Christian, a Magian, a communist, an idol-worshipper, etc. The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (AlMushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, 170

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revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember” [al-Baqarah 2:221] Imam al-Tabari said: What is said concerning the interpretation of the words “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you” is that what Allaah meant by that is that Allaah has forbidden the believing women to give birth to a mushrik, no matter what kind of shirk he believes in. So, O believers, do not give your daughters in marriage to them, for that is forbidden to you. For you to give them in marriage to a believing slave who believes in Allaah and His Messenger and that which he brought from Allaah is better for you than to give them in marriage to a free mushrik even if he is of noble descent and honourable origins, even if you like his descent and background… It was narrated that Qutaadah and al-Zuhri said, concerning the phrase “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon”, It is not permissible for you to give them in marriage to a Jew or a Christian or a mushrik who is not a follower of your religion. (Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 2/379). Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 30796: Should he get married without his father’s approval? Question: Is it permissible for a man to get married to a woman

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whose religious commitment and character he admires, even though his parents do not approve?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. A son is not doing wrong if he chooses a woman who is religiously committed and of good character, for this is the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with regard to marriage. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466) There follows some advice for you and your father from Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, that has to do with your situation. The Shaykh (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The question leads us to offer you two points of advice. The first point is addressed to your father, if he insists on not allowing you to marry this woman whom you describe as being of good character and religiously-committed. What he should do is to give you permission to marry her, unless he has a legitimate shar’i reason that he knows and can explain to you so that you will be convinced and your mind will be put at rest. He should weigh up this matter himself: if his father had refused to let him marry a woman whose religious commitment and character he admired, would he not have thought that this was wrong and a suppression of his freedom? If he would not like 172

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his father to do this to him, then how can he let himself do the same to his son? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” It is not permissible for your father to prevent you marrying this woman for no legitimate shar’i reason. If there is a legitimate shar’i reason then he should explain it to you so that you will understand. With regard to the advice which we give you, we say that if you can forget about this woman and marry another, thus pleasing your father and avoiding a split (between you and your father), then do that. If you cannot do that, because you are emotionally attached to her and you are also afraid that if you propose marriage to another woman that your father may also prevent you from marrying her – because some people may have envy or jealousy in their hearts even towards their children, so they do not let them have what they want – I say that if this is the case and you cannot be patient and forget about this woman to whom you feel emotionally attached, then there is no sin on you if you marry her, even if your father objects. Perhaps after you get married he will become convinced and the feelings in his heart will go away. We ask Allaah to enable you to do that which is in the interests of both. Fataawa Islamiyyah, 4/193-194. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 22442: On acting; and the ruling on marrying young girls Question: 1)What is the ruling of islam acting in movies?.If it is

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allowed what type of filims must be them?.Also what is the role of women in movies ?. 2)Why islam allowed to marry children(girls) of age below 10 with out their permission(it is said that in the case of children,it requires the concern of their parents only.I also know it requires to get the permission in the case of adults).Actually marrage has to taken plce between the persons, who have even a little meturity.But in the case of children it not happend.Can you justify this ruling of islam(Child marrage ) ?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: The question of acting and related issues has already been dealt with in Question no. 10836. We may add to that: Shaykh Abu Bakr Zayd (may Allaah preserve him) said: chivalry [i.e., behaving in a proper and decent manner] is one of the aims of sharee’ah, and anything that undermines that renders a person unfit to give testimony in court. Islam enjoins the loftiest characteristics and forbids base and vile characteristics. How often do viewers see an actor doing silly actions or moving or speaking in a silly manner, or even playing the role of a madman, idiot or fool. Based on this, it is clear to the wise man that acting is one of the things that most undermine chivalry, so it is one of the things that render a person unfit to give testimony in court. Anything that is like that is not approved of in sharee’ah. See al-Muru’ah wa Khawaarimuhaa, p. 221, by Mashhoor Hasan Secondly: 174

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Marrying a young girl before she reaches the age of adolescence is permitted in sharee’ah; indeed it was narrated that there was scholarly consensus on this point. (a) Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the ‘Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise” [al-Talaaq 65:4] In this verse we see that Allaah has made the ‘iddah in the case of divorce of a girl who does not have periods – because she is young and has not yet reached puberty – three months. This clearly indicates that Allaah has made this a valid marriage. (b) It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her when she was six years old, he consummated the marriage with her when she was nine and she stayed with him for nine years. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4840; Muslim, 1422) The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married ‘Aa’ishah when she was six years old and consummated the marriage when she was nine.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim; Muslim says ‘seven years’) The fact that it is permissible to marry a young girl does not mean that it is permissible to have intercourse with her; rather that should not be done until she is able for it. 175

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For that reason the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) delayed the consummation of his marriage to ‘Aa’ishah. Al-Nawawi said: With regard to the wedding-party of a young married girl at the time of consummating the marriage, if the husband and the guardian of the girl agree upon something that will not cause harm to the young girl, then that may be done. If they disagree, then Ahmad and Abu ‘Ubayd say that one a girl reaches the age of nine then the marriage may be consummated even without her consent, but that does not apply in the case of who is younger. Maalik, al-Shaafa’i and Abu Haneefah said: the marriage may be consummated when the girl is able for intercourse, which varies from one girl to another, so no age limit can be set. This is the correct view. There is nothing in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah to set an age limit, or to forbid that in the case of a girl who is able for it before the age of nine, or to allow it in the case of a girl who is not able for it and has reached the age of nine. Al-Dawoodi said: ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) was reached physical maturity (at the time when her marriage was consummated). Sharh Muslim, 9/206 It is preferable for a guardian not to marry off his daughter when she is still young unless there is a valid reason for that. Al-Nawawi said: It should be noted that al-Shaafa’i and his companions said: It is preferable for fathers and grandfathers not to marry off a virgin until she reaches the age of puberty and they ask her permission, lest she end up in a marriage that she dislikes. What they said does not go against the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah, because what they meant is that they should not marry her off before she reaches puberty 176

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if there is no obvious interest to be served that they fear will be missed out on if they delay it, as in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah. In that case it is preferable to go ahead with the marriage because the father is enjoined to take care of his child’s interests and not to let a good opportunity slip away. And Allaah knows best. Sharh Muslim, 9/206. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 13780: Marriage of a convert: must he marry someone of the same race? Question: I would like to ask for your advice, I am a br. who prays believes in allah prays 5 times a day, fasts in ramadan and converted to islam over 5 years ago. I am looking to get married, however on meeting the sr. that I like, I am finding out that since her family is from another Race and because of this they will not accept me as her husband. She is a practising muslimah from an Indian/asian/ pakistani/bengali type of background, and it is typical of people of these background never to let their children (especially girls) to marry outside their own cultures even if the one proposing is a practising muslim man. Hence the mariage cannot take place on this basis alone. Since the majority of practising muslims in this country are from the indian subcontinent background,I have two questions 1- how does a relative new-comer such as my self get married?

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2- Should reverts only marry reverts? Is there any basis for such cultural separation in islam? . Answer: Praise be to Allaah. With regard to the first question, and the second, as soon as you entered Islam you became one of the Muslims, with the same rights and duties as they have. Based on that, then you may strive to guard your chastity by marrying any good and righteous woman, based on the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) [regarding looking for a wife], “Look for the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper)!” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466) – whether she is also new in Islam (i.e., a convert) or not. What matters is that she should be righteous, as I mentioned. Then if you propose marriage to a righteous woman, and she or her family do not agree, then you must be patient and continue looking, whilst also continuing to pray that Allaah will make it easy for you to find a righteous woman who can help you to obey your Lord. Secondly, with regard to the discrimination that you mention, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allaah is that (believer) who has AtTaqwa [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious]” [al-Hujuraat 49:13] The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) 178

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said: “O you who believe, verily your Lord is One, and your father [Adam] is one. There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man or of a black man over a red man, except in terms of taqwa (piety). Have I conveyed (the message)?” They said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has conveyed (the message).” (Narrated by Ahmad, 5/411; classed as saheeh by alAlbaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 313; it was also narrated from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah that its isnaad is saheeh, in al-Iqtidaa’, 69). According to another hadeeth, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Those who boast about their forefathers should desist or they will be less significant before Allaah than the beetle that rolls up the dung with its nose. Allaah has taken away from you the arrogance of Jaahiliyyah and its pride in forefathers, so a person is either a pious believer or a doomed evildoer. All the people are the children of Adam and Adam was created from dust.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3890; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan alTirmidhi, no. 3100; and in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 312, it was said that al-Tirmidhi and Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah classed it as saheeh). The dung beetle is a black bug that rolls up excrement. Hence it should become clear to you that Islam does not discriminate between one Muslim and another by any earthly standards, whether that be colour, lineage, wealth or country. Rather the only criterion by which people are regarded as superior to others before Allaah is taqwa (piety, consciousness of Allaah). Indeed, the sharee’ah commands the guardian of a woman, if a person comes to propose marriage who is religiously-committed and of 179

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good character and attitude, to hasten to arrange the marriage, and to beware of rejecting him and not accepting him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that then there will be much tribulation and mischief in the land.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what if there is some other objection?” He said, “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him,” three times. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 866 See the answer to question no. 13993. We ask Allaah to make it easy for you to marry a woman who will help you to obey your Lord. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 20227: Wants to marry Christian woman Question: I like one girl, and we are gonna get WED in future. My parents are fully agreed with my decision, so her parents. Everything is going alright. The problem I am encounted with is, “She is Christian.” While discussing with each others, I have asked her to Embrace ISLAM, And I have been given many information regarding islam so she can understand each and everything, It seems she doesnt want to EMBRACE islam. As she said “ I am very very strong christian, I just cannot accept any faith than christianity, I 180

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cannot become muslim. She doesnt eat pork, nor, does she drinks, She is a Chaste lady with her true feelings and a Clean heart. This is true that she has nothing against my faith. She is agree to accept me with my faith and she wants me accept her with her faith, and the children would be MUSLIMS. This is what we have decided so far. Some of my friend adviced me to FORCE her to EMBRACE ISLAM, Like threaten “I won’t marry you if you dont Embrace islam” This is what my friend adviced me, But as far as I realize, This wouldnt be fair at all. please Tellme Should i force her to become muslim? I guess, to embrace islam she must have the feelings that ALLAH is one and she should have the real feelings instead of fake feelings. I dont want to force her cause I scare, that IF she becomes muslim JUST to show me, JUST to get married with me, Its gonna be SIN on me. I want she to become muslim from her true feelings and real feelings with that ALLAH is one and he is the god. I am trying my best to provide her knowledge of islam and to showing her the right path. Please tellme Should i force her? IF she refuses to embrace Islam, Can i marry her? Can I and her get married and lives as husband and wife?. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Allaah has permitted us to marry Jewish and Christian woman, on condition that they are chaste and avoid zina (unlawful sexual relations), and that the wali (guardian) of that Christian woman is a Muslim. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Made lawful to you this day are AtTayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful 181

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(meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, [i.e. in the Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith i.e. His (Allaah’s) Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and AlQadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work; and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers” [al-Maa’idah 5:5] What is meant by chaste is refraining from zina (unlawful sexual relationships). Ibn Katheer said: This is the view of the majority, which the most correct opinion, so as to avoid the combination of her being a non-Muslim with her being unchaste, which would mean that she is totally corrupt and thus her husband will get, as the Arabic proverb says, “Bad goods and cheated on the weight.” The apparent meaning of the aayah is that what is meant is those who are chaste and refrain from zina. Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/55 The condition of the woman’s wali being a Muslim is indicated by the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “And never will Allaah grant to the disbelievers a way (to triumph) over the believers” [al-Nisa’ 4:141] 182

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However, we do not advise you to marry a non-Muslim woman, nor do we advise you to marry just any Muslim woman. For married life is not based only on beauty and attraction, rather the wise Muslim must look with insight at what is beyond that, because he needs to be sure that his house will be looked after in his absence, and he needs to bring up his children, and he will not be able to find that or other things which every wise husband seeks, except with a religious Muslim woman. This is the advice of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466). Al-Nawawi said: The correct meaning of this hadeeth is that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was describing what people usually do, for they seek these four characteristics, the last of which in their view is religious commitment, but you, the one who is seeking guidance, should look for a wife who is religious. But this is not an absolute command. This hadeeth encourages keeping company with people who are religiously committed in all things, because the one who keeps company with them will benefit from their good attitude and morals, their blessing and their good ways, and he will be safe from mischief at their hands. Sharh Muslim, 10/52 183

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But marriage to women of the People of the Book leads to a great deal of mischief and trouble, such as: 1. He may have to be courteous to this wife of his at the expense of his religion, especially if she is “very committed” to her own religion. This may mean that she will hang up crosses and go to the church, and the children will not be safe in this environment. 2. She is not going to wash properly after finishing her period, or tell him not to have intercourse with her when she is menstruating; she is going to make him do something that is wrong according to sharee’ah and cause him physical harm. 3. He is going to be put in an embarrassing situation because of her careless attitude concerning dress and her mixing with men and speaking to them. 4. The states and governments of these women of the Book will be on their side and will give them custody of the children if differences arise and divorce takes place. This will cause these children to be lost and to fall into kufr. Such cases are too well known to need mentioning here and too many to count. One of the poets said: “Marriage to a Christian is an abhorrent action which leads to the kufr of the children for sure. Whoever accepts for a child of his to be a kaafir is himself a kaafir, even if he claims to be a Muslim. A man may become a kaafir, following his wife, and enter the Fire of Hell forever. You must look for one who is religiously committed, if you want a sound marriage. 184

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Forget about the people of kufr and beware of marrying them, for that will lead to a lot of evil. The children of such a marriage will not be guided; they will swell the ranks of evildoers. Secondly: It is not permissible for you to force your Christian wife – if you do marry her – to become Muslim. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path has become distinct from the wrong path. Whoever disbelieves in Taaghoot [falsehood, false gods] and believes in Allaah, then he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold that will never break. And Allaah is All-Hearer, All-Knower” [al-Baqarah 2:256] Ibn Katheer said: Allaah says: “There is no compulsion in religion” meaning: do not force anyone to enter Islam, for it is obvious and clear, and its proof and evidence are apparent. There is no need to force anyone to enter it, rather whomever Allaah guides to Islam and opens his heart to it and illuminates his insight will enter it with conviction; but whoever Allaah makes blind in his heart and seals his hearing and insight will not benefit from being compelled to enter the religion by force. They said that the reason for the revelation of this verse was concerning some people among the Ansaar, even though this ruling is general. Tasfeer Ibn Katheer, 1/311 We advise you – once again – to leave this woman and to 185

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pray to Allaah to guide your heart to that which is in the best interests of your religion. So long as you give her up for the sake of Allaah, then you should be certain that Allaah will replace her for you with someone better, for whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 20213: She got married without her father’s approval Question: My sister married a man who is muslim but she married him against my Father’s will. My Father is religios. He rejected that man because he has bad manners so my sister ran away and married without a Wali. My question is : Is this Marraige Valid? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You father did well by not agreeing to (your sister’s) marriage to that man who has bad manners. Allaah has put him in a position of trust with regard to his daughters and anyone who is under his care, so he has to make a good choice and find a husband who is suitable from the point of view of sharee’ah. Your sister has done a number of wrong things, such as making a bad choice in choosing this man who has bad manners; running away from her father’s house; and – worst of all – getting married without a wali (guardian). One of these bad deeds would be enough to understand 186

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the extent of the wrongs that she has done towards her Lord, herself and her family, so how about if they are combined? With regard to the marriage, it is invalid, because the wali’s consent is one of the essential pillars of a valid marriage. This is what is indicated by the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah: 1 – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands” [al-Baqarah 2:232] 2 – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to alMushrikoon (idolaters) till they believe (in Allaah Alone)” [al-Baqarah 2:221] 3 – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband)” [al-Noor 24:32] From these verses we may understand that the consent of the wali is an essential condition for marriage, because these verses are addressed to the wali concerning the marriage of the women under his care. If the matter was up to the woman, there would be no need to address the wali, especially in the case of the first verse quoted, as we shall explain below. Part of the fiqh of Imam al-Bukhaari is that he quoted these verses in a chapter which he called Baab man qaala 187

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Laa nikaah illa bi wali (Chapter: the view of those who say that there is no (valid) marriage without a wali)’. With regard to the Sunnah: 1 – It was narrated that Abu Moosa said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid) marriage without a wali.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn Maajah, 1881. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1/318). 2 – It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If the marriage has been consummated then she is entitled to the mahr because she allowed the man to be intimate with her. If she does not have a wali then the ruler is the wali of one who does not have a wali.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879. This hadeeth was classed as hasan by alTirmidhi and as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan (9/384) and alHaakim (2/183)). So your sister has to repent and pray for forgiveness, and she has to go back to her father and ask him to forgive her. She should realize that her marriage is null and void, and so it is not permissible for her to stay with this man because he is not a legitimate husband for her. A new contract should be done in the presence of her wali, if he agrees to her staying with this man, after weighing up the evil of his bad manners versus the evil of her leaving him; or if he does not approve of her staying with him, then the marriage contract is automatically annulled, and 188

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this man should be obliged to divorce her so as to avoid any doubts and so that the matter will be final. She should agree to the person whom her father chooses for her, and he has to look for someone person of religious commitment and good manners who fears Allaah who will take good care of his daughter. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) 13501: An invalid marriage contract must be done again, even if ten years have passed Question: My question is that we know that a girl’s marriage without the consent of the guardian is invalid according to the shareeah. Then there are a lot of cases where the couple have eloped and got married. My question is, if the marriage is invalid, how do these people make it valid, lets say after 5 years of marriage or 10years of marriage and they have children now. My other question is that if a couple runs away and gets married and then after certain period, lets say 2years or 4years the parents then give consent or come to acceptance of their marriage, then is the marriage valid. How do some one make this marriage valid? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If a woman gets married without the consent of her wali (guardian), her marriage is invalid and is not valid even if ten years have passed and even if 189

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they have children. It is essential to repeat the marriage contract after her guardian’s approval is obtained, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no valid marriage without a wali and two witnesses.” (Narrated by Ahmad and the authors of Sunan except al-Nasaa’i. See Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7558). There is a stern warning against a woman who arranges her own marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman should not arrange another woman’s marriage and a woman should not arrange her own marriage, for the zaaniyah (adulteress) is the one who arranges her own marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7298). With regard to the second question, which has to do with the approval of the wali; in this case it is essential to repeat the marriage contract, because the first nikaah was not valid. The couple must also repent sincerely to Allaah for what they have done, and Allaah is Forgiving, Most Merciful. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 31119: She loves him and he treats her orphaned daughter kindly, but their families refuse to let them marry Question: I have fallen deeply in love with a very good man, but his family vehemently reject me. The first reason for their rejection is that I was married before and I have a daughter. The other reason is that I previously tricked them with a big lie but now I am trying to make up for that lie, and I pray that Allaah will forgive me and that they will forgive 190

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me. Now, praise be to Allaah, I have started to adhere to Islam more, and I have started to wear niqaab and memorize Qur’aan, praise be to Allaah. My question now is: is our marriage valid without his family’s agreement? Is his marriage to me considered to be disobedience towards them? Even though we love one another very much, and I acknowledge, praise be to Allaah, that this person has changed me a lot and made me more religious. Is it permissible for me to get married without the consent of a wali (guardian), because my father is insisting that this man’s family must agree to the marriage before he gives his consent, otherwise he will refuse to allow this marriage so long as this man’s family refuse to agree to it. Please note that my father ignores me and rarely asks about me, and this man – may Allaah reward him with good – is the one who is taking care of me and my daughter, giving me love and security and taking the place, for my daughter, of her dead father. He gives her the love and care that her own family does not give her. My daughter and I are in great need of his love and care towards us. I hope that you can advise us. Thank you very much. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Your question, may Allaah bless you, raises a number of issues, some of which are mentioned in the question and some to which attention must be drawn. One of the issues raised in the question is that you ask about having your father’s agreement. You have to realize that sharee’ah stipulates that there must be a wali 191

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(guardian) in order for the marriage contract to be valid, because there is a great deal of evidence to that effect, such as the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no (valid) nikaah (marriage) without a wali (guardian).” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn Maajah, 1881. It is saheeh as stated in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel by alAlbaani, 6/235). There is great wisdom in what Allaah has prescribed by stipulating that there must be a wali. For example, the basic principle is that men are more perfect in reason, and have more understanding of where interests lie and they have more insight into the circumstances of men and what is suitable for a woman, and they are more able to take decisions, especially since a woman may be overwhelmed and swayed by her emotions. If we assume that there is some fault in the wali that make him unqualified to take responsibility for the woman under his guardianship, or he is preventing her from getting married to a compatible man with no legitimate shar’i reason, then guardianship passes to the next in line, for example from the father to the grandfather. (For more detailed information in this issue, please see Question no. 7193). With regard to his family’s approval, this is not a necessary condition for the marriage to be valid, because the man is his own wali, so his marriage does not require the agreement of his family. They have no right to prevent him from marrying for no legitimate shar’i reason. His concern about their approval, especially his parents, is a good thing, and he may gain their approval by treating his parents well and doing whatever he can to make them agree to his choice, and seeking the help of Allaah in that by making du’aa’, debating with them in a polite manner, and seeking to convince them in gentle ways. 192

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We are happy to congratulate you for Allaah’s blessing in enabling you to wear correct Islamic hijaab and to memorize His Holy Book. We ask Allaah to make us and you among those who act in accordance with it. We would like to draw your attention to what you mention in your question about “falling deeply in love”, “we love one another very much”, “he gives us love” and “My daughter and I are in great need of his love and care towards us”. You have to realize that both Muslim men and Muslim woman must protect themselves against the things that may lead to forming an emotional attachment to someone who is not a spouse, whilst accepting that people may not be able to have full control over their emotions. But there are many things that a person may do that may lead to such attachments, and these are the things which are forbidden. For example, chat between a man and woman to converse, which may provoke these emotions and desires. Repeated visits are also forbidden. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172). These things are forbidden in order to close the door to things that may develop from them. The wisdom behind this is that it prevents the formation of an emotional attachment to a person whom it may not be easy to marry, which would result in heartache for both parties, examples of which are well known, both ancient and modern. This may also distract the heart from things which are obligatory, namely loving and obeying Allaah. Ibn al-Qayyim spoke of the damage caused by such attachments in some of his books, such as al-Daa’ wa’l-Dawa’, and Ighaathat al-Lahfaan, which are worth reading. You can also refer to Question no. 9465. What we advise you to do, since Allaah has enabled you to wear the hijaab, is to complete the hijaab of cloth with 193

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the hijaab of the heart by taking an impartial look at the relationship you have with him now, and keeping away from everything that could make you form an emotional attachment to him, such as speaking to him, letting him visit you and your daughter, etc, which are haraam or nearly haraam. He, since according to what you say he is religious, should keep even further away from such things, lest the Shaytaan intervene between the two of you. With regard to his kindness towards your daughter, we ask Allaah to reward him for that, but that should not result in any haraam action, such as his entering upon you when there is no one else apart from your daughter with you, because her being with you does not cancel out the fact that you are alone together in the haraam way which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against when he said: “No man is alone with a (non-mahram) woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” (Narrated by Ahmad and by al-Tirmidhi in his Sunan, 2091; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2546). See also Question no. 2986. With regard to your hopes for marriage to him, we advise you to do a number of things: 1. Pray istikhaarah a great deal until your Lord chooses for you that which is in your best interests in this world and in the Hereafter. To learn how to pray istikhaarah, please see question no. 2217. 2. Avoid the things mentioned here that may create an emotional attachment, because the most important means of attaining what one wants is adhering to sharee’ah and keeping within its limits. 3. Strive to reduce the intensity of love referred to in the question by understanding the dangers involved, and focus your heart on Allaah and on pondering the meanings of 194

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His words with which Allaah has adorned your heart by enabling you to memorize them. 4. Try to get closer to your father, treat him kindly and strive to honour him. Perhaps that will soften his heart and make him want to do that which will bring you happiness and stability. 5. Apologize to the man’s family and interact with them in a way that will show them that you regret what you did to them. Perhaps Allaah will open their hearts to this marriage, which will make it easier for your father to accept the idea. 6. Prepare yourself to accept what Allaah has decreed – even if it is not what you would like – by being prepared for the worst case scenario, such as not being able to get married at all, because when you accept the worst case scenario, it loses its power to shock you, which may lead to frustration or loss of faith, or thinking negatively of Allaah and His wisdom. 7. Strive to give this orphan whom Allaah has placed in your care an Islamic upbringing, and treat her kindly, for in bringing up and sponsoring an orphan there is great reward which may be the means of bringing blessings to you and divine help in all your affairs. We ask Allaah to perfect His blessings upon you and to make faith steadfast in your heart and to help you to do all that is good. May He make this marriage easy if it is good for both of you, and may He guide us all to the straight path. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islamqa.com) 195

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21841: Does he have to marry his female relative whom he touched in a haraam manner? Question: I am in a horrible situation. I have commited a sin by touching a unmarried women in our relatives. I didn’t had exual intercourse but I have touched this lady and she also touched me. Now since this lady is relative ( my mothers brothers daughter) I am scared that this lady will tell others. I have so far led my life as per islamic shariah and people respect me a lot. I am unmarried and I am going to get married to a pios muslimah. Should I am liable to marry this woman whom I have touched? I am very scared of this woman who is neighbour to my family. What should I do to get out of this situation? I know that I have commited a sin. I am preying allah to forgive my sin. I can’t imagine marrying this women who always used tricks to attract me. Now I am trapped. Should I tell my parents about it? Do I need to tell the girl whom I am gonna marry about this? Can the girl whom I have touched force me to marry her by islamic law? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You have to ask Allaah for forgiveness and repent to Him for what you have done, and you have to resolve never to go back to that. The fact that you touched this woman does not mean that you are obliged to marry her; there is nothing in Islam that compels a sane adult to marry any woman whom he does not want to marry. No marriage is valid unless it meets the necessary conditions, one of which is the consent of the husband who is accountable. You do not have to tell your parents or the girl you are 196

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going to marry about what happened; rather you are obliged to conceal what you have done, and to repent, and this is between you and your Lord. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid this filth that Allaah has forbidden. Whoever does any such thing, then let him conceal it with the concealment of Allaah.” (Narrated by al-Bayhaqi; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, no. 663). “Filth” means evil actions and bad speech that Allaah has forbidden. Subul al-Salaam, 3/31 And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 13808: Ruling on a woman marrying someone who attends Mawlid celebrations and practices some innovations Question: My sister-in-law will be getting married soon. She is worried about the type of boy she can get married to. To be specific, she has asked me whether it is valid to get married to a person who is a strong supporter of the Mawlid or Milad-un-Nabi practice? I do understand that this practice itself is an innovation in Islam. However, the difficulty is whether one can get married to such people who practice Mawlid. In New XXX, the people involved in this practice, do this as an act of worship. People would be invited to attend this ceremony where various hadith are read, songs are sung and dua is made. People actually stand and sing! I hope this is the practice the fatwaa on your site refers to. The question is whether one can marry those who do this practice? The more difficult question 197

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and the one I am afraid to ask is whether these people are Muslims? Sheikh, you do not have to answer the second one if it is not wise to? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. With regard to the Mawlid and whether the one who does that is considered to be a Muslim, you will find a detailed answer in the Seasonal topics section of this website. In brief, those who do this are of many kinds, depending on what they do – although the Mawlid is in and of itself bid’ah (an innovation). But the ruling on those who do it depends on what actions contrary to sharee’ah they do in this Mawlid. Therefore the matter may extend as far as shirk and going beyond the pale of Islam, if any actions which are known to constitute kufr are committed on this occasion, such as calling upon anyone other than Allaah, or attributing any divine qualities to the Prophet peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) etc. But if it does not go that far, then the one who attends such events is a faasiq (rebellious evildoer) but not a kaafir, and his fisq (rebellion) varies according to the unIslamic or innovated actions he does in the Mawlid. With regard to the issue of marrying a man who participates in things like the Mawlid, the ruling varies according to the state of the man. If he does things that constitute kufr then it is not permissible to marry him under any circumstances, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you” [al-Baqarah 2:221] 198

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Such a marriage would be regarded as null and void, according to the consensus of the scholars. But if the innovation does not reach the degree of kufr, the scholars still issued a stern warning against marrying innovators. Imaam Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Do not marry a woman from among the innovators, or give your daughter in marriage to an innovator, or greet them with salaam…” (al-Mudawwanah, 1/84). Imaam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said something similar. The four Imaams (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that religious compatibility between the man and woman is one of the matters which must be taken into consideration. A faasiq (rebellious evildoer) is not compatible with a righteous, religiously-committed Muslim woman, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Is then he who is a believer like him who is a Faasiq (disbeliever and disobedient to Allaah)? Not equal are they” [al-Sajdah 32:18] Undoubtedly, following innovation in religion is one of the most serious forms of fisq (rebellion, evildoing). Paying attention to religious compatibility means that if the woman discovers that her husband is a faasiq, or if it becomes clear to her guardians that the husband is a faasiq after the marriage contract has taken place, then the woman or her guardians has the right to object to this contract and ask for it to be annulled. But if they choose to forego this right, then the contract is valid. Hence we should be careful to avoid such marriages, especially since the man is in charge of the woman 199

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(qawwaamah) and he may give the woman a hard time or force her to commit some acts of bid’ah, or make her go against the Sunnah in some matters. With regard to the children, their situation is more serious, because there is the risk that he will bring them up to follow his innovation, so they will grow up following a path other than that of Ahl al-Sunnah. This will cause great hardship and difficulty to their mother who follows the way of Ahl alSunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah. In conclusion, according to the scholars of Ahl al-Sunnah it is strongly makrooh for a woman to marry a Muslim man who follows bid’ah, because of the bad consequences that will result from that, and because it will cancel out many good things. And whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better than it. And Allaah knows best. See Mawqif Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah min Ahl alAhwaa’ wa’l-Bida’ by Dr. Ibraaheem al-Raheeli, 1/373388. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 21860: She stipulated the condition that if he married a second wife, that second wife would be divorced Question: A man got married and they stipulated the condition in the marriage contract that every woman he married would be divorced, then he got married (to another wife). What is the ruling according to the four schools? 200

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah was asked this question and he replied as follows: This condition is not binding according to the madhhab of Imaam al-Shaafa’i, and it is binding on him according to the madhhab of Abu Haneefah, so that when he gets married the divorce takes place, and when he takes a concubine she becomes free. This is also the view of Maalik. With regard to the madhhab of Ahmad, no divorce or manumission takes place, but if he gets married or takes a concubine, the matter is in the woman’s hands: if she wishes, she may stay with him, or if she wishes, she may leave him, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The conditions which are most deserving of fulfillment are those by means of which intimacy becomes permissible to you.” And because a man got married subject to the condition that he would not take another wife; he referred the matter to ‘Umar, and he said, “Rights and duties are to be defined in the light of conditions.” So there are three views concerning this matter: That divorce and manumission take place. That they do not take place, and that the woman does not have the right to leave him. The most just of the three views, which is that divorce and manumission do not take place, but that the woman has the right to insist on the condition: if she wishes she may stay with him or if she wishes she may leave him. This is the most moderate opinion. Al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 3/125. (www.islam-qa.com) 201

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21047: Why is it not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man Question: It is permissible for Muslim men to marry women who are not Muslim, so why are Muslim women not permitted to marry men who follow a religion other than Islam? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a woman from among the People of the Book, a Jewish or Christian woman, but not a woman from any other kaafir religion, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Made lawful to you this day are AtTayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)…” [al-Maa’idah 5:5] This refers to chaste women from among the People of the Book, not immoral women. It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a mushrik who is not a Muslim, no matter what his religion is. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 202

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“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to AlMushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (AlMushrikoon) invite you to the Fire…” [al-Baqarah 2:221] And because Islam should prevail and not be prevailed over, as is stated in the religion of Islam. Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr It is known that the man is the stronger party and the one who dominates the lives of the family, his wife and children. So it is not wise for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir man who will dominate her life and the life of her children, the consequences of which will be very serious, as there is the possibility that he may divert her from her religion and raise the children in his own religion. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 22302: Women whom it is permissible to marry in some cases and not in others Question: Are there any instances in Islam where it is permissible to marry a woman in some cases and it is not permissible to marry the same woman in other cases? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 203

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this issue further: 1 – It is haraam to marry a woman who is in ‘iddah following the end of a marriage (by divorce or death) to another man, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And do not consummate the marriage until the term prescribed is fulfilled” [al-Baqarah 2:235] The wisdom behind that is that there is the possibility that she might be pregnant [from the first husband], and it would result in the “waters” (sperm) being mixed and the lineage being confused (i.e., if he were to marry her before the ‘iddah was over). 2 – It is haraam to marry a zaaniyah (a woman who has committed fornication or adultery) if she is known to have done that, until she repents and completes her ‘iddah, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism)” [al-Nisaa’ 24:3] 3 – It is forbidden for a man to marry a woman whom he has divorced (talaaq) three times until she has been married to another man in a valid marriage which has been consummated, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “The divorce is twice… And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband…” [al-Baqarah 2:229230]

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4 – It is forbidden to marry a woman who is in ihraam [for Hajj or ‘Umrah] until she has exited the state of ihraam. 5 – It is forbidden to be married to two sisters at the same time, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: … two sisters in wedlock at the same time” [al-Nisaa’ 4:23] It is also forbidden to be married to a woman and her paternal aunt or a woman and her maternal aunt at the same time, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not be married to a woman and her paternal aunt or a woman and her maternal aunt at the same time.” (Agreed upon). And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained the reason behind that when he said, “If you do that then you have broken the ties of kinship.” That is because of the jealousy that exists between co-wives, and if one of them is related to the other, the ties of kinship between them will be cut. But if a woman is divorced and her ‘iddah is over, then her sister, paternal aunt and maternal aunt become permissible for marriage (to that man), because the reason for the prohibition has ceased to exist. 6 – It is not permissible to be married to more than four women at one time, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four” [al-Nisaa’ 4:3] The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded those who were married to more than four women to divorce some of them when they entered Islam.

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And Allaah knows best. Al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi by Shaykh Saalih ibn Fawzaan al-Fawzaan, 2/271 (www.islam-qa.com) 13929: Her brother was her guardian for marriage because her father did not approve of the marriage, then he agreed one year later Question: I have a question regarding the validity of my Nikah. I got married one year ago with my brother as my guardian, because my father refused to marry me. After one year, my father had happily accepted my marriage. I am sometimes worried about the validity of my nikah, was it islamically correct? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. (1) This advice is addressed to parents: The duty of parents is to hasten to arrange the marriages of the women who are under their guardianship, if someone who is compatible proposes marriage and the woman agrees to that. Whoever does not do that is going against the command of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes a proposal of marriage from one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry [your female relative under your guardianship] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be fitnah (temptation, 206

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tribulation) on earth and much corruption.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nikaah, 1004; classed as hasan by alAlbaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 865). It is not permissible to treat them with harshness [cf. alNisaa’ 4:19 – interpretation of the meaning] for any reason that has not been prescribed by Allaah and His Messenger. “Harsh treatment”, as defined by Ibn Qudaamah, means, “preventing a woman from getting married to someone who is compatible, if she asks for that and if each of them wants to marry the other.” (See al-Mughni, part 7, p. 24). Parents and guardians should hasten to marry the women under their care because that will protect them from falling into that which Allaah has forbidden, and so that the guardian himself will not fall into that which Allaah has forbidden of the sin of treating them harshly. The basic principle is that harsh treatment on the part of the guardian by not letting her marry someone compatible is haraam, because it is oppression and harming the woman by depriving her of her right to marry someone she wants. That is because Allaah forbade that when He said, addressing guardians: “… do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands…” [al-Baqarah 2:232 – interpretation of the meaning]. (2) The ruling on this matter may be one of two: The first is that if the closest relative or guardian of the woman was treating her harshly by preventing her from getting married, then it is OK for a more distant relative to act as her guardian in marriage, even if the closer relative is present, because in this case he has no right to be her guardian. Al-Mirdaawi said: “The phrase ‘if the closer relative is preventing her from getting married then the more distant 207

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relative should act as her guardian in marriage’ is the correct view in the madhhab; most of our companions share this view… Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: one of the forms of ‘harsh treatment’ is when no one is proposing marriage to her, because of the harshness of her guardian.” (al-Insaaf, part 5, p. 74) Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: If she likes a man and he is compatible with her, then it is obligatory for her brother or her (paternal) uncle to act as her guardian in her marriage to him. If they treat her harshly and prevents her from marrying, then a more-distantly related guardian may marry her to him.” (al-Fataawa al-Kubra, part 3, p. 83) Ibn Qudaamah said: “If her more-closely related guardian treats her harshly (by not letting her get married), then the guardianship passes to one who is more distantly related. This was stated by Ahmad…” (al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah, part 7, p. 24) Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: If a father prevents his daughter from marrying someone who is compatible, then guardianship passes to a more distant relative, the closest then the closest.” (Fataawa Islamiyyah, part 3, p. 149) The second is when a more distant relative has arranged the marriage when the closer relative is present and was not treating her harshly (by preventing her from getting married). Al-Mardaawi said: “If a more distant relative arranged the marriage for no reason, or a non-relative arranged the marriage, then this is not valid.” (al-Insaaf, part 8, p. 82). Al-Bahooti said: “If a more distant relative arranged the marriage with no reason why a closer relative could not have arranged it, then the marriage is not valid… because 208

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the more distant relative has no right of guardianship if a closer relative is present.” (Kashshaaf al-Qinaa’, part 5, p. 56) This issue may be examined further. If the closer relative approves of this marriage, what is the ruling? And if the closer relative approves of this marriage, does his approval make the marriage valid or not? The scholars said: If someone arranges the marriage when there is someone else who is more entitled to guardianship and he is present, and is not treating her harshly (by preventing her from getting married), then the marriage is invalid. This issue includes three rulings, the first of which is that if the more distantly related guardian arranges the marriage, when the more closely related guardian is present, and she accepts the proposal of marriage without the permission of the closer relative, then it is not valid. This was the view of al-Shaafa’i. Maalik said: It is valid, because this is a guardian, so it is permissible for him to arrange the marriage with her permission, as is the case with a closer relative. The second ruling is that this marriage is null and void; it was not done with permission or with proper permission, and it cannot be made valid with the approval of the closer relative. Marriage in all such cases is invalid, according to the more sound of the two reports. This was stated by Ahmad in several places, and this is the view of alShaafa’i, Abu ‘Ubayd and Abu Thawr. Another report was narrated from Ahmad, in which he said that it depended on approval, if approval was given it was permissible, and if approval were not given, it was invalid. 209

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Inkaah al-Fudooli. According to the terminology of the fuqaha’, the fudooli means one who interferes in the rights of another without any permission from sharee’ah, because his interfering is not based on any rights of ownership, trusteeship or guardianship. (al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, part 32, p. 171) The fuqaha’ differed concerning the ruling on a marriage arranged by a fudooli without any rights of guardianship or proxy: The Hanbalis and al-Shaafa’i in al-Jadeed said that the marriage arranged by a fudooli is invalid and the approval of the guardian has no effect (i.e., the marriage contract must be repeated). The second view is that of Ahmad, according to one report narrated from him, and of Abu Yoosuf, which is that the marriage arranged by a fudooli is valid, but it depends on the approval of the guardian. If he gives approval then it is OK, but if he disapproves, it is not valid. (alMawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, part 32, p. 175) In conclusion: some of the scholars have said that the marriage contract is valid if the guardian approves – as you have seen – and if you want to have more peace of mind and avoid an area concerning which there are differences of opinion among the scholars, then do the marriage contract again. All that is needed is the proposal from your guardian – your father – and acceptance from the husband, and the witness of two Muslim men, and repentance for what has happened. We ask Allaah to give you strength. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 210

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12630: The fact that the woman is older the man should not prevent them from getting married Question: I am 21 year old muslim. I do want to get married soon. I especially want to get Married to someone who is older than me(e.g.somebody about 7 years older). Is There anything ‘wrong’ in wanting to do this? I know that the prophet’s 1st wife was About 15 years older than him. However, people might think my preference is a little odd. After all, it does not happen much nowadays Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Age does not matter, and it does not matter if the woman is older or if the husband is older. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married Khadeejah when she was forty and he was twenty-five. What does matter is that the man should look for a righteous woman who is religiously-committed, even if she is older than him, if she is still young enough to bear children. The point is that age should not be a problem and such a marriage is not wrong if the man is righteous and the woman is righteous. May Allaah guide us all to the best way. Summarized from the fatwa of Shaykh Ibn Baaz in Fataawa Islamiyyah, part 3, p. 107 Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 211

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12283: A Christian woman is asking whether her marriage to a Muslim is valid Question: I am a Christian woman, recently married to a Muslim man. Due to our different beliefs, we were married in a courthouse, as opposed to a Mosque. Does the Muslim belief still see this as a “real” marriage? I have researched this, and was surprised to read that the Islam belief does not honor this as a real wedding? Please confirm...I am very much in love with this man! Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: if the marriage contract was done with: 1. the proposal of your guardian – who may be your father or whoever is acting in his place if he is not there, on the condition that he is of the same religion as you – by his saying, for example, “I offer my daughter in marriage to you.” 2. Acceptance on the part of the husband by saying, for example, “I accept.” 3. The contract was done in the presence of two Muslim witnesses – then the marriage is valid. (For more details on the conditions of marriage, see question no. 2127 and the section on conditions of marriage on this web site). If any of these conditions is missing, then the marriage is not valid, and you have to do it again. The place where the marriage contract is done does not have any effect on the validity of the marriage. 212

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Secondly: this question caught our attention because of your keen interest in finding out the rules of the Islamic religion concerning this matter. Perhaps this will lead you to enquire about greater realities, the most important of which is, which is the true religion? Permit us to ask you the following questions: Do you want a happy life? Do you care about finding contentment? Are you looking for the truth? Do you want a good and righteous life for your children? If you do, then please – may Allaah guide you and us to the truth – consider the following: That Allaah has created mankind for a great purpose, which is to worship Allaah alone with no partner or associate. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And I (Allaah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone). I seek not any provision from them (i.e. provision for themselves or for My creatures) nor do I ask that they should feed Me (i.e. feed themselves or My creatures). Verily, Allaah is the AllProvider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong” [al-Dhaariyaat 51:56-58] Allaah sent the Messengers to call mankind to this purpose. He said (interpretation of the meaning): “And verily, We have sent among every Ummah (community, nation) a Messenger (proclaiming): “Worship Allaah (Alone), and avoid (or keep away from) Taaghoot (all false deities, i.e. do not worship Taaghoot besides Allaah).” Then of them were some whom Allaah guided and of them were some upon whom the straying 213

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was justified. So travel through the land and see what was the end of those who denied (the truth)” [al-Nahl 16:36] Then Allaah sent the final Messenger, Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He was the last of the Prophets and Messengers. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but he is the Messenger of Allaah and the last (end) of the Prophets. And Allaah is Ever AllAware of everything” [al-Ahzaab 33:40] “Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah. And those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves. You see them bowing and falling down prostrate (in prayer), seeking Bounty from Allaah and (His) Good Pleasure. The mark of them (i.e. of their Faith) is on their faces (foreheads) from the traces of prostration (during prayers). This is their description in the Tawraat (Torah). But their description in the Injeel (Gospel) is like a (sown) seed which sends forth its shoot, then makes it strong, and becomes thick and it stands straight on its stem, delighting the sowers, that He may enrage the disbelievers with them. Allaah has promised those among them who believe (i.e. all those who follow Islamic Monotheism, the religion of Prophet Muhammad till the Day of Resurrection) and do righteous good deeds, forgiveness and a mighty reward (i.e. Paradise)” [al-Fath 48:29] One of the reasons why He sent the Messengers was so as to establish proof against mankind, lest they say, “No Messenger came to us and no one told us that Allaah commanded us to worship Him.” Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 214

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“Verily, We have sent the Revelation to you (O Muhammad) as We sent the Revelation to Nooh (Noah) and the Prophets after him; We (also) sent the Revelation to Ibraaheem (Abraham), Ismaa‘eel (Ishmael), Ishaaq (Isaac), Ya‘qoob (Jacob), and AlAsbaat [the offspring of the twelve sons of Ya‘qaab (Jacob)], ‘Eesa (Jesus), Ayyoob (Job), Yoonus (Jonah), Haaroon (Aaron), and Sulaymaan (Solomon); and to Daawood (David) We gave the Zaboor (Psalms). And Messengers We have mentioned to you before, and Messengers We have not mentioned to you, — and to Moosa (Moses) Allaah spoke directly. Messengers as bearers of good news as well as of warning in order that mankind should have no plea against Allaah after the (coming of) Messengers. And Allaah is Ever AllPowerful, AllWise [al-Nisaa’ 4:163-165] We call you, and everyone who does not follow the religion of Islam, to hasten to obey the command of Allaah by believing in Him alone, with no partner or associate, and to believe in His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), whom Allaah sent to all of creation, men and jinn alike. Allaah has commanded them to do this, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “O mankind! Verily, there has come to you the Messenger (Muhammad) with the truth from your Lord. So believe in him, it is better for you. But if you disbelieve, then certainly to Allaah belongs all that is in the heavens and the earth. And Allaah is Ever AllKnowing, AllWise. O people of the Scripture (Christians)! Do not exceed the limits in your religion, nor say of Allaah aught but the truth. The Messiah ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), 215

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was (no more than) a Messenger of Allaah and His Word, (“Be!” — and he was) which He bestowed on Maryam (Mary) and a spirit (Rooh) created by Him; so believe in Allaah and His Messengers. Say not: “Three (trinity)!” Cease! (it is) better for you. For Allaah is (the only) One Ilaah (God), glory is to Him (Far Exalted is He) above having a son. To Him belongs all that is in the heavens and all that is in the earth. And Allaah is AllSufficient as a Disposer of affairs” [al-Nisaa’ 4:170-171] Allaah has told us in His Noble Book (the Qur’aan) that He does not accept any religion other than Islam. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings): “And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:85] “Allaah bears witness that Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), and the angels, and those having knowledge (also give this witness); (He always) maintains His creation in justice. Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), the AllMighty, the All-Wise. Truly, the religion with Allaah is Islam. Those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) did not differ except, out of mutual jealousy, after knowledge had come to them. And whoever disbelieves in the Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allaah, then surely, Allaah is Swift in calling to account [Aal ‘Imraan 3:18-19] Do not forget that if you become Muslim, it will be better 216

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for your children, so that they will not be confused or suffer from mental anguish, and say, “Our father is a Muslim and our mother is a Christian, so who should we follow?” Perhaps thinking through these matters more deeply will lead to a good result, by Allaah’s leave. Strive to read a sound translation of the Qur’aan, which is considered to be the miracle of the Prophet of Islam, then read the biography of the Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and how Allaah granted success to him and his Companions, and how Allaah supported him with miracles, such as making water flow from between his fingers and the splitting the moon, when the mushrikoon (polytheists) asked for a sign – so he commanded the moon to split, and it split in two – and other events which are recorded in his Seerah (biography). And he also spoke of unseen matters which could not be known except by means of Revelation, such as when he said that the empires of the Persians and Romans (Byzantines) would be conquered before it happened, and other matters which are indicative of his Prophethood. We ask Allaah to guide us all. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 8190: Guardianship over a woman’s marriage and wealth Question: We know that if a woman wants to get married, she has to have a wali (guardian) who will do the marriage contract on her behalf. But how does she decide who will be her wali? Does the wali have to take care of all the woman’s 217

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dealings? Please advise us, may Allaah reward you with good. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The ways in which a man may be appointed as a woman’s wali for marriage are five: being her owner (if she is a slave); being related to her; being her patron (as when one tribe is patron of another, etc.); being a leader (of the community, etc.); and guardianship (wisaayah). The wali is one of the conditions of the validity of a marriage. It is not permissible for a woman to be a wali in marriage either for herself or for someone else for any reason; she cannot act as a wali for herself, on behalf of another or as the deputy of another. If she does that, the marriage contract is invalid. A woman who is adult, of sound mind and sensible has the right to manage her own money and to dispose of it however she wishes, whether that is in return for something or not, such as buying and selling, renting, lending, giving in charity or giving gifts, giving all or part of the money. No one has the right to stop her doing that, and she does not need anyone’s permission, whether she is virgin who has a father, or does nit have a father, or is married with a husband. It is permissible for a mother to dispose of her children’s wealth, food or otherwise, as is also permissible for the father. It is also permissible for a woman to dispose of and eat from her parents’ wealth with regard to things that are permissible for her. The mother has the right to guardianship over the wealth of her children who are still young or who are insane, 218

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because she is more compassionate towards her child than anyone else. A woman does not have the right to dispose of her husband’s wealth or give any of it in charity without his permission, whether that permission is explicit or is implied by custom and habit. It is permissible for a woman to have the position of guardianship (wasiyah) over someone else’s money and she may be in control of money over which she has been appointed guardian, so long as she meets the conditions of guardianship, whether she is the mother of the children or is not related to them. It is permissible for a woman to be in charge of a waqf; she has the right to be the guardian in charge of a waqf and to decide how it should be disposed of. This is according to scholarly consensus. Wilaayat al-Mar’ah fi’l-Fiqh al-Islami, p. 691 (www.islam-qa.com) 6690: A person who does not believe in the Sunnah forfeits the right of guardianship Question: Can deviant Muslims be the wali (for marriage) of their daughters if she is a Muslim with correct aqeedah? For example, can a Muslim person who does not accept that hadith (Sunnah) need to be followed be the wali of a person who accepts Islaam (Qur’an and Sunnah)? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. 219

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The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) mentioned the conditions for being a woman’s wali (guardian) for marriage. Some of these conditions are agreed upon, and others are disputed. The conditions that are agreed upon are: 1. Islam Ibn Quddamah said: The kaafir cannot be the wali of a Muslim woman, according to the consensus of the scholars. A similar view was also narrated from Ibn al-Mundhir. (al-Mughni, 7/356) 2. Being of sound mind. 3. Majority (having reached puberty) 4. Being male. Ibn Rushd said: (The scholars) agreed that among the conditions of guardianship are: being Muslim, being an adult and being male. Bidaayat al-Mujtahid, 2/12 Ibn Qudaamah said: Being male is a condition of guardianship according to all (the scholars). (al-Mughni, 7/356) The conditions concerning which the scholars disputed are: 1. Being free The condition of being free is listed by most of the scholars; the Hanafis were of a different view. The basis of describing freedom as a condition is that a slave has no power of guardianship over himself, so it is 220

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more likely that he cannot have the power of guardianship over anyone else. (See the two references mentioned above) 2. Being of good character Imaam al-Shaafa’i and Imaam Ahmad were of the view that this is one of the conditions of guardianship. What is meant by good character is appearing to be of good character. It is not necessary for the wali to be of good character both outwardly and inwardly. Such a requirement would be too difficult and would lead to most marriages being invalid. (Khashshaaf al-Qinaa’, 3/30) It is important to note that the questioner may want to marry the woman, then if he discusses some issues with her guardian and they have an argument, he might accuse him of not believing in referring to the Qur’aan and Sunnah. This would be overstepping the mark and a major sin, because it is accusing a Muslim of something that would put him beyond the pale of Islam. But if the wife’s guardian really does not believe in the Sunnah, like that group which calls itself alQur’aaniyyeen, then he should argue with him, explain the truth to him, dispel his confusion and establish proof against him. Then if he persists he is a kaafir, and it is not permissible for him to be the guardian of a Muslim woman for marriage even if she is his daughter. He forfeits the right of guardianship, which then passes to the closest Muslim relative of the woman. And Allah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 221

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3975: Marrying a non-Muslim woman in order to obtain settlement visa Question: i wanna marry a non muslim woman just for papers, without really practicing sex. Should i do sex with her even if i just want to take the papers? Is it possible to marry her for that purpose? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We put this question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, may Allaah preserve him, who answered as follows: If she is one of those whom it is permissible to marry, then there is nothing wrong with that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four things” and he mentioned wealth as one of them… and this is akin to that. If he marries her in order to obtain the settlement visa, he should not have the intention of divorcing her as soon as he gets his settlement. And Allaah knows best. Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (www.islam-qa.com) 4569: She loves a man who is not a Sunni and wants to marry him Question: i need to find some useful info about shias and thier 222

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difference between us sunnis... i know this man and he loves me very much and wishes to marry me - forever not the mut aa type of marraige, however i know his bsiefs are not in line with the sunnis so i ahve discussed this wiht him and he has agreed to to research the differences - i ma hoping that this way he will be able to decide for himself which is the right path my problem is that i ma not able to find any sights whihc provide proper comparison and which do not directly accuse shias as being wwrong - i wish to talk to someone about this aaas i know there I wll be questions raised between me and this person however i need assistance and would much apreciate it if i could talk to someone or get a source where even he could study which would not make him feel as if his beiefs are being pout down - i think that telling soeone softly and nicely will amke a person more willing to listen than saying his beilefs are worng Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We Sunnis wish all people well, and we ask Allaah to guide all those who are misled and to reward all those who obey Him. We hope that Allaah will guide those Raafidis… The differences between the Ahl al-Sunnah (Sunnis) and the Raafidis are very great and are fundamental. For example, the Raafidis say that the Qur’aan was altered, and they condemn most of the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) and think that they went astray; they exaggerate about their imaams and worship them, and give them precedence over the Prophets and angels; they go on pilgrimages to mashhads (shrines) and graves, where they do all kinds of actions of shirk, associating others in worship with Allaah. They also believe in 223

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hypocrisy (as a tenet of faith) and call it taqiyah (dissimulation), and they believe in al-badaa’(the notion that Allaah “changes His mind”), al-raj’ah (the Return, i.e., the raising of the dead to life again for some time in the same form as they were before) and absolute infallibility of their imaams, and in prostrating on a handful of clay… We advise you to read “Al-Khutoot al-‘Areedah” by Muhibb al-Deen al-Khateeb [this book is available in English – Translator], or Mukhtasar al-Tuhfat al-Ithna’ ‘Ashariyyah by al-Dahlawi, or Fikrat al-Taqreeb bayna Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Shee’ah by Naasir al-Qaffaari. And we advise you not to think of marrying this man… Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better. We ask Allaah to make you strong and grant you a good life in this world and in the Hereafter. We would also remind you that it is not permitted to have relationships with non-mahram men, as you will find explained clearly in Questions 2005 , 9465 And 1114 We ask Allaah to help you to do all that is good. Shaykh Muhammad Aal ‘Abd al-Lateef (www.islamqa.com) 8435: He claims to be a Muslim but he does not practise Islam at all; however, he is prepared to learn – can she marry him? Question: can i marry a man who does not know any aspect of islam. his parents are muslim but they never bothered to teach him religion,they kept islam upto them but he himself is 224

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a very humble person and i have experienced that if myself or any body else will try to explain him the teachings of islam,he will galdly hear it and inshallah he will also let those teachings to enter his life. i have strong believe in religion i am not very religious but i try my best to follow islam.i love him very much and i believe that after marring him i can easily bring him on the right path on which i am inshallah. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. We put the following question to Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen: There is a Muslim woman who has received a proposal of marriage from a man who claims to be a Muslim but he does not practise Islam at all –because he is ignorant about it. But he says that he is prepared to learn and practise. Can she marry him or not? His answer: Praise be to Allaah. If he bears witness that there is no god except Allaah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah, then he is a Muslim, and it is permissible for her to marry him. And Allaah knows best. Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen: (www.islam-qa.com) 8412: Desirable qualities in a husband Question: I am a 24 year old muslim Lebanese girl living in Ottawa, 225

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Canada. Having lived so away from home for such a long time, I often find that I need guidance with the persuite of knowledge of Islam, our great guid in life. I am wondering the virtues a woman should look for in a potential husband, more specific than for him to be a practicing moslem. As well, I regard the role of motherhood as a very precious and sacred one, any advice on having a good moslem household and rearing children to be all they can be and close to our faith? I would appreciate any comments You would have regarding this topic... Curiously yours, Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly, we advise you to go to one of the nearby mosques or Islamic centres, and try to go there as often as possible. This will let you get to know some righteous sisters and benefit from what you hear from them. The man whom a woman agrees to marry should be committed to Islam and should adhere to its rulings and morals. Other attributes and characteristics are a matter concerning which people differ. With regard to the education and upbringing of children, one of the most important factors in their upbringing is creating a good environment for them. This includes choosing a suitable husband; choosing a suitable home, in an area among righteous people and people with whom one would like to make friends; choosing suitable schools for them; keeping the means of corruption out of the home; having a good relationship between the husband and wife; husband and wife being in agreement concerning matters of child-rearing so that there will not be any conflict or contradiction between them. It is also important for the 226

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parents to read some suitable books on raising childre, to learn from those whom they think have raised their children well, and to set a good example to the children. Mohammed al-Duwaysh (www.islam-qa.com) 5964: He married a Christian girl in the presence of her kaafir brother Question: I made zeena with a christian girl and she became pregnant.In my ignorance,I thought I would make the situation right and marry her.We were married in the masjid with the imam,another muslim brother,her brother and her mother as witness.She was not muslim at the time of our marriage.She did later take shahadah before our child was born.What is the status of our marriage?What is the status of this child?What is the status of my other children by her?I have regret and remorse of what I did and I do not want go back to this,but I am concerned that my marriage is not even legal,in which case I would find myself in the same sin.What do I do to relieve myself of the predicament I have gotten myself into? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. This marriage is considered to be null and void, because it happened when she was pregnant as a result of zinaa, and because it was lacking in one of the essential conditions of marriage, which is the presence of two male witnesses and the acceptance of her guardian. On this basis, the marriage contract must be repeated with a 227

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Muslim walee (guardian) or qaadi (judge). The children should be named after the father on whose bed they were born and the father should not disown any one of them, because “the child is for the bed.” And Allaah knows best. Written by Ibn Jibreen. (www.islam-qa.com) 7193: The girl’s father disagrees with a marriage –what is the solution? Question: I have a question regarding marrige. If a father disagrees with a marrage along racial lines or because that person is upon the manhaj of the salaf and there is no islamic judge in your locality e.g. Carribbean, What should that person do according to the Qur’an and Sunnah? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: it is not permissible for a man to marry a woman without the permission of her walee (guardian), regardless of whether she is a virgin or previously-married. This is the view of the majority of scholars, including al-Shaafa’i, Maalik and Ahmad. They take as evidence (daleel) the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “There should be no nikaah (marriage contract) except with a wali (guardian).” 228

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(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn Maajah, 1881. It is saheeh, as stated in Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel,6/ 235, by al-Albaani, may Allaah have mercy on him). And the hadeeth: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If her husband has consummated the marriage, then the mahr belongs to her in return for that. If she does not have a wali then the (Muslim) ruler is the wali of anyone who does not have a wali.” (Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879). Secondly: if her wali prevents her from marrying the person she wants with no shar’i reason for doing so, the guardianship passes to someone who is fit to be a wali, so it may pass from her father to her grandfather, for example. Thirdly: if all her guardians prevent her for no shar’i reason, then the (Muslim) ruler will be her wali, because of the hadeeth, “…If she does not have a wali, then the (Muslim) ruler is the wali of anyone who does not have a wali.” The “ruler” here means the judge who rules according to sharee’ah. The wali does not have the right to prevent a woman from marrying on the basis of his own whims and with no shar’i reason. It was reported that al-Hasan said: Ma’qil ibn Yassaar told me that [this aayah] was revealed concerning him. He said: “I married a sister of mine to a man, and he divorced her. When her ‘iddah was over, he came and asked to marry her. I said to him, ‘I married her to you and I treated you well and honoured you, then you 229

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divorced her. And now you come asking to marry her! No, by Allaah, she will never go back to you!’ He was a man who had nothing wrong with him, and the woman wanted to go back to him. Then Allaah revealed this aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘…do not prevent them …’ [al-Baqarah 2:232]. So I said, ‘Now I will do it, O Messenger of Allaah.’” So he married her to him. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4837). According to another report, he said: “It was concerning me that this aayah was revealed (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of their prescribed period, do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands’ [al-Baqarah 2:232]. Fourthly: If there is no wali and no shar’i judge, then her case should be referred to the ruler or whoever is acting in his stead. If there is no such person, then her case should be referred to the sharee’ah courts. If there is no sharee’ah court, then her case should be referred to a man who holds a position of leadership among his people and is committed to Islam. If there is no such man, then her case should be referred to any trustworthy and religiouslycommitted man who is fit to be a wali. Ibn Qudaamah said: if a woman does not have a wali and there is no ruler, then according to Ahmad, any religiouslycommitted man may arrange her marriage with her permission. (al-Mughni, 7/352). Shaykh ‘Umar Al-Ashqar says: If there is no Muslim ruler and the woman is in a place where the Muslims do not have a ruler and she has no wali at all, such as the Muslims in America etc., then if there are Islamic organizations in that country which take 230

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care of the Muslims’ affairs, they should step in and take care of arranging her marriage. The same applies if the Muslims have a leader whom they obey or someone who takes care of their affairs. (Al-Waadih fi Sharh Qaanoon al-Ahwaal al-Shakhsiyyah al-Urduni, p. 70). All of this [transferring guardianship to someone other than the girl’s father] must be with the consent of the girl and should not result in greater corruption than preventing you from marrying her. It should also be on the condition that the reason for [the father’s] refusal is invalid according to the sharee’ah, as you have explained. Fifthly: it is not permissible for the walee to refuse marriage because the prospective husband does not follow his manhaj of da’wah, or because he is not of his tribe or from his country. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded us to marry religious people and not to refuse them, otherwise corruption and tribulation would be the result. Abu Hurayrah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If someone whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you proposes marriage, then marry [your female relative under your charge] to him. If you do not do that, there will be tribulation in the land and much corruption.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani, may Allaah have mercy on him, in alSilsilah al-Saheehah. 1022). Sixthly: by the same token, it is not permissible for a woman to justify a marriage to whomever she wishes on the grounds that this person is following the same manhaj of da’wah. It is sufficient for her that the person who is proposing marriage is religiously committed and has a good attitude.

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And all parties concerned should remember that their Lord, may He be blessed and exalted, is always watching them. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 6491: How can she be sure of the Islam of a person whom she wants to marry? Question: Hello, my question is that I like a guy who is not muslim, but he is willing to change his religion. The problem is that he says he will do it, but if it dosn’t come from the heart then it’s not acceptable. I know that my parents will have a lot of friction with this guy because he is half black half white. I am afraid because I don’t want to loose my parents even if teh guy changes his religion and becomes a true muslim how can I be sure that he will committ to it. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You need to know, may Allaah help you to adhere firmly to Islam, that it is not permissible for a Muslim to love a kaafir, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “You (O Muhammad) will not find any people who believe in Allaah and the Last Day, making friendship with those who oppose Allaah and His Messenger (Muhammad), even though they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred (people).” [al-Mujaadilah 58:22] 232

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As you say that you love him, you have to give up this love for the sake of Allaah; whoever gives up a thing for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better. If this young man declares his Islam and you fear that he is not sincere in his Islam, remember what Allaah said (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them; Allaah knows best as to their Faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them.” [al-Mumtahinah 60:10] So he could be tested by asking him about Allaah, His religion, and His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and about the religion that he claims to have left. You could also make sure of his Islam by watching to see if he persists in the obligatory acts of worship, such as prayer – especially if there is a mosque nearby – and fasting. If a person – especially a new Muslim – is really serious about Islam, this will also manifest itself in other ways, such as whether he bothers to ask questions about the rulings on halaal and haraam. He will also be concerned about changing the way he is, such as ridding himself of kaafir rituals and giving up things that are munkar and haraam that he used to do before he was Muslim. Whether he is truly Muslim will also be seen from the way he hates the kufr that he used to follow before. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 233

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“There are three things, whoever attains them will find the sweetness of faith: when Allaah and His Messenger are more beloved to him than anyone else; when he loves a person and loves him only for the sake of Allaah; and when he would hate to return to kufr after Allaah has saved him from it, as he would hate to be thrown into the fire.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 21). We also want to be sure that there is no forbidden relationship, because a Muslim woman is not permitted to do this. She should not touch or be alone with a nonmahram man (one to whom she is not married or related by close blood ties). We ask Allaah to choose good for you and to decree it for you and to keep you safe from all evil. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 6122: She got married in the mosque without her parents’ knowledge Question: Is secret nikkah is permissible? My friend went to mosque secretly from her parents and had a nikkah but there was only one witness for the nikkah. Is the nikkah valid. Please advise may god bless you. Thank you. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There has to be a walee (guardian) and two witnesses to 234

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any marriage, because of the hadeeth, “There is no marriage except with a walee” and “Any woman who gets married without the knowledge of her walee, her marriage is invalid.” Therefore this marriage contract must be renewed, if her walee agrees to that, in the presence of two suitable witnesses. See Question #2127. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 6942: Choosing a husband Question: What are the most important factors for a woman in choosing a husband? If she rejects a righteous man for some worldly reasons, will she be punished by Allaah? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The most important factors for a woman in choosing a husband are his attitude/behaviour and his commitment to religion. Wealth and lineage are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the potential husband should be religious and have a good attitude, because if a man has religious commitment and a good attitude, a woman has nothing to lose: if he keeps her (remains married to her), he will keep her on a reasonable basis, and if he divorces her, he will set her free on a reasonable basis. Moreover, a man who is religious and has a good attitude will be a blessing to her and her children, for they will learn good manners and religion from him. But if the 235

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prospective husband is not like that (is not religious), she should keep away from him, especially those who take the matter of prayer lightly or who are known to drink alcohol. We seek refuge with Allaah. As for those who do not pray at all, they are kuffaar and it is not permissible for them to marry believing women. It is important for the woman to focus on the matter of attitude and religious commitment. With regard to the matter of lineage, this is a bonus. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you (to propose marriage to your daughter etc.) a man with whose religious commitment and attitude you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him.” But if you can manage to ensure compatibility (in terms of lineage and socio-economic status, etc.) as well, then this is better. From the Fataawa of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, from the book Fataawa al-Mar’ah (www.islam-qa.com) 4602: Parents forcing their daughter into a marriage Question: I am muslim. I have to ask a question about my friend who is being forced to marry someone by her parents. She wanted to marry someone else. The guy who she is being forced to marry is more educated and wealthy than the one who she wanted to marry. Her parents has disapproved of her choice and they are forcing her to marry that guy. The guy who she likes is also muslim and very much devoted into islam. But just because the society would not talk about them they don’t like the guy who she loves. Any suggestions?? 236

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Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455). ‘Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ‘Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) comes. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217). So, both the guardian and the woman must agree to the marriage. With regard to your request for our advice regarding the problem mentioned in the question, so long as this marriage has taken place, it is better for the woman to try to keep it going as much as she can, and to try to accept this husband. She should seek reward through pleasing her parents and also try to reform her husband through a gentle approach and praying for guidance for him. And Allaah is the Source of Strength. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 237

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4035: Husband and wife converted together; do they need to do a new marriage contract? Question: Some Muslims made da’wah to call a family, consisting of a husband and wife, to Islam. They embraced Islam and came together to the Islamic centre to declare their Islam. Do they have to do a new marriage contract or not? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Chapter Three: if the husband and wife become Muslim together, then they keep their original marriage contract, whether this happens before the marriage is consummated or after. There is no dispute among the scholars on this matter, praise be to Allaah. Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr mentioned that there is scholarly consensus on the matter. The reason is that there is no difference of religion between the spouses. Abu Dawood reported from Ibn ‘Abbaas that a man came to declare his Islam at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), then his wife came to declare her Islam. [The man] said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, she became Muslim when I did.’ So the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) returned her to him.” (al-Mughni, part 7, Ahkaam al-Nikaah). On the basis of the above, their original marriage contract 238

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is sufficient, and there is no need for them to do a new one. And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 2803: They want to conceal their marriage Question: I am converting to Islam, however I find it difficult to tell my family..I will do so in time however is it necessary to announce it officially. I wish to also become a wife to a man (who already has a wife and children) for islamic reasons. The difficult part is also telling his family Is it necessary to annouce our marriage? As we do not wish to hurt anyone. I trust you will be able to guide me as will Allah. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. You do not have to announce your Islam, whether officially or to your family, and it is permissible to keep it a secret if there is some fear of harm. As for marriage, however, the sunnah is to announce it, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriages.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in Musnad ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Zubayr; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1072). If a marriage is announced in one city or location, it need not be announced in another, 239

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but we do not advise you to conceal the news of your marriage, especially since such news usually becomes known eventually. This news is likely to be a big shock to the first wife, so announcing the marriage is in the interests of all concerned, as it establishes fair and just treatment for both wives. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 2256: Marriage according to sharee’ah but not the law of the land Question: If you get married in islamic law but not in the states eyes, and have relations with the one you married is that adultury. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If you get married according to the law of Allaah and His Messenger, it does not matter if the whole world of manmade laws disagrees with that. She will be your legitimate wife and you can have relations with her whenever you wish – this is not considered to be haraam or adulterous. How could it be, when you have married her according to the sharee’ah and it has become legitimate for you to have intercourse with her by the word of Allaah! This ruling is also of benefit to anyone who may wish to marry more than one woman in countries where polygyny is forbidden by jaahili man-made law. And Allaah is the Source of strength. 240

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Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 2527: Who are the women of the People of the Book whom Muslims are permitted to marry? Question: Thanks for answering my question. I want to know what you mean with marrying a Jew or christian who should had chastity? Does touching and kissing forbidden before marriage occurs? I have read in your anwers that you tell muslim that the woman should be chaste. Is this only with jew or christian girl or also, muslim woman? Does touching and kisssing are included when you refer to chastidy? What should be the advice given to a muslim boy that thinks touching is necessary before marriage? I appreciate this to be confidencial. Thanks so much for helping me. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Abu Ja’far Muhammad ibn Jareer al-Tabari gave a definition of muhsanah in Jaami’ al-Bayaan ‘an Ta’weel Aayi’l-Qur’aan (8/165): “Muhsanah means the woman who is chaste and pure … one who is chaste and protects her private parts from committing immoral acts, as in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And Maryam, the daughter of ‘Imraan, who guarded her chastity…’ [al-Tahreem 66:12], meaning that she kept herself above suspicious actions and protected herself from immoral conduct.” 241

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Then he discussed the interpretation of the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…’ [al-Maa’idah 5:5] He said that some others said that what was meant by this aayah (‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…’) is chaste women from both groups, whether they were slaves or free. Those who were of this opinion considered it permissible to marry slave women who were Jews or Christians who practised their religions, because of this aayah, but they considered it haraam to marry promiscuous women, whether they were Muslims or from the People of the Book. Then he mentioned reports to support this opinion. He also said: ‘There was some dispute among the scholars about the interpretation of the phrase and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…- was this general or specific in application? Some said that it is general and applies to all chaste women, because muhsanaat means chaste women, and a Muslim is allowed to marry any woman of the People of the Book, free or slave, from a country whose people are engaged in hostilities with Islam or from a community which is living under Islamic rule. They use as evidence for this the apparent meaning of the phrase and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time… taking muhsanaat to mean any chaste woman, whoever she may be. This is the opinion of those who take muhsanaat to mean “chaste women” in this context. 242

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Others say that it refers only to the women of Jewish and Christian communities who are living under Islamic rule. As regards those living in regions that are hostile to Islam, Muslims are not permitted to marry such women. He mentions an important condition for marrying a woman of the People of the Book, which every Muslim who wants to marry such a woman in a non-Muslim country should pay attention to. This condition is that he should be in a position where he is not afraid that his child will be forced into kufr. One of the obvious implications of this in our time is that a Muslim should not put himself in a position where he will be forced to raise his child as a kaafir in a non-Muslim country, where a child may be forced to study something about Christianity, for example, or he may be taken to church on Sundays, or the law may be on the side of the non-Muslim woman, allowing her to take her child wherever she wants and raise him in her family’s religion, etc. We ask Allaah to keep us safe from all that and we seek refuge with Him from being forsaken. Shaykh al-Sa’di said in his Tafseer (commentary on the Qur’aan), 1/458: “‘… (lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women – i.e., free and chaste - from the believers and chaste women – free and chaste - from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…’ i.e., from among the Jews and Christians. This is adding specific details to the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And do not marry al-mushrikaat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allaah alone)…’ [al-Baqarah 2:221].” As for promiscuous women, those who do not keep 243

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themselves chaste and free from immoral sexual conduct, it is not permitted to marry them, whether they are Muslims or from among the People of the Book (Jews and Christians), unless they repent, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3] And Allaah knows best. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 2627: Committed zinaa with a non-Muslim woman who has now become Muslim, and he wants to marry her Question: A salamou alaykom wa rahmatou allahi wa barakatouhou, I am Muslim, Morrocan and have been studying in xxx for 5 years. During my study, I met a chinese girl and fell in love with her for 2 years. I have to say that I commited zinna with her often. Few months ago, she converted to islam and now I really want to marry her ala sunnati allahi wa rasoulihi. Am I allowed to do so? Is there any special procedure? Jazakomou allahou khayran. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse (zinaa). Verily it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way.” [al-Israa’ 17:32] 244

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Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Allaah says, forbidding His slaves to commit zinaa, to approach it or to put themselves in situations that may lead to it or tempt them to it: ‘And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily it is a faahishah’ i.e., a great sin, and ‘an evil way’ i.e., a bad way of behaving.” Imaam Ahmad said: “Yazeed ibn Haaroon told us that Jareer told us that Saleem ibn ‘Aamir told us, from Abu Umaamah that a young man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, grant me permission to commit zinaa.’ The people turned to him and told him off, saying, ‘Ssh!’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Come closer,’ so he came closer. He told him, ‘Sit down,’ so he sat down. He asked him, ‘Would you like this for your mother?’ He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!’ He said: ‘No people would like it for their mothers.’ He asked him, ‘Would you like this for your daughter?’ He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!’ He said: ‘No people would like it for their daughters.’ He asked him, ‘Would you like this for your sister?’ He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!’ He said: ‘No people would like it for their sisters.’ He asked him, ‘Would you like this for your paternal aunt?’ He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!’ He said: ‘No people would like it for their paternal aunts.’ He asked him, ‘Would you like this for your maternal aunt?’ He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah. May Allaah cause me to be sacrificed for you!’ He said: ‘No people would like it for their maternal aunts.’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) put his hand on him and said: ‘O Allaah, forgive him his sin, purify his heart and make 245

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him chaste.’ After that, the young man never paid attention to anything of that nature.” Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who invoke not any other god along with Allaah, not kill such life as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse – and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment shall be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; except those who repent and believe, and do righteous deeds, for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is OftForgiving, Most Merciful. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds, then verily, he repents towards Allaah with sincere repentance.” [al-Furqaan 25:68-71] It is not permitted for a man guilty of zinaa to marry a woman who is similarly guilty unless both of them repent sincerely to Allaah, may be He be glorified, so that they will no longer be described as being guilty of zinaa. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: not let any but a such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers, such a thing is forbidden.” [al-Noor 24:3] So you must repent sincerely to Allaah, and follow this kabeerah (major sin) with many good deeds, so that Allaah may forgive you. If you are both sincere in your repentance and adhere to the laws of Allaah from now on, there is nothing wrong with your marrying her. Allaah forgives the one who repents. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 246

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689: Muslim marrying a Catholic who doesn’t convert to Islam Question: Can a Muslim marry a Roman Catholic without the person converting to Islam? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If a Muslim wants to marry a Christian woman, she does not have to become Muslim first, because of the general statement in the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning): “Made lawful to you this day are . . . chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time . . .” [al-Maa’idah 5:5]. The conditions for a non-Muslim woman to marry a Muslim man are that she should be of the People of the Book (Jewish or Christian) and that she should be chaste. We remind the Muslims living outside the Muslim world that they should not rush into taking such a step, and if they wish to do so, they should think long and hard, even though marrying a woman of the People of the Book is permitted in principle. There is a very real possibility of the children becoming Christian, especially in countries where the law favours the non-Muslim mother. In fact many such tragedies have occurred. We ask Allaah to guide us all and give us strength. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 247

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649: Marriage after committing fornication (zinaa) Question: Can a man/women who is sexually involved before they are married, atone for their sins by getting married to the same person? Answer: Praise be to Allaah. If both partners repent to Allaah, and the woman is not pregnant, then they are permitted to marry one another. See also question #33. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 2127: Conditions of walee (guardian) Question: What exactly constitutes a guardian, as is needed in the nikkah ceremony. I am a female Muslim, and I want to know if my older brother is acceptable for this role. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. There are three pillars or conditions for the marriage contract in Islam:

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Both parties should be free of any obstacles that might prevent the marriage from being valid, such as their being mahrams of one another (i.e., close relatives who are permanently forbidden to marry), whether this relationship is through blood ties or through breastfeeding (radaa’) etc., or where the man is a kaafir (non-Muslim) and the woman is a Muslim, and so on. There should be an offer or proposal (eejaab) from the walee or the person who is acting in his place, who should say to the groom “I marry so-and-so to you” or similar words. There should be an expression of acceptance (qabool) on the part of the groom or whoever is acting in his place, who should say, “I accept,” or similar words. The conditions of a proper nikaah (marriage contract) are as follows: Both the bride and groom should be clearly identified, whether by stating their names or describing them, etc. Both the bride and groom should be pleased with one another, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No previously-married woman (widow or divorcee) may be married until she has been asked about her wishes (i.e., she should state clearly her wishes), and no virgin should be married until her permission has been asked (i.e., until she has agreed either in words or by remaining silent).” They asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given (because she will feel very shy)?” He said: “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4741) The one who does the contract on the woman’s behalf should be her walee, as Allaah addressed the walees with regard to marriage (interpretation of the meaning): “And 249

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marry those among you who are single…” [al-Noor 24:32] and because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who marries without the permission of her walee, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 1021 and others; it is a saheeh hadeeth) The marriage contract must be witnessed, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage contract except with a walee and two witnesses.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7558) It is also important that the marriage be announced, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriages.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1027) The conditions of the walee are as follows: He should be of sound mind He should be an adult He should be free (not a slave) He should be of the same religion as the bride. A kaafir cannot be the walee of a Muslim, male or female, and a Muslim cannot be the walee of a kaafir, male or female, but a kaafir can be the walee of a kaafir woman for marriage purposes, even if they are of different religions. An apostate (one who has left Islam) cannot be a walee for anybody. He should be of good character (‘adaalah – includes piety, attitude, conduct, etc.), as opposed to being corrupt. This is a condition laid down by some scholars, although some of them regard the outward appearance of good character 250

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as being sufficient, and some say that it is enough if he is judged as being able to pay proper attention to the interests of the woman for whom he is acting as walee in the matter of her marriage. He should be male, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the one who arranges things on her own behalf.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 1782; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7298) He should be wise and mature (rushd), which means being able to understand matters of compatibility and the interests of marriage. The fuqahaa’ put possible walees in a certain order, and a walee who is more closely-related should not be ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not meet the specified conditions. A woman’s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her father, then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents), then her father’s brother through the father, then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father’s brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman who does not have a walee of her own. And Allaah knows best.

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Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 1018: Non-Muslim Proposing to Muslim Woman Question: Assalam O Alaikum I am a muslim. My sister has been proposed to by a man who is christian. She has agreed and they are now planning to get married. The man is willing to convert to Islam. I dont know what to do. Do I have any rights to resist this marriage? My parents are totally against this marriage and are deeply concerned, mainly due to the fact that the man is from a different culture and is not a relative. Please advise me on what to do as I am very confused and time is running out very fast. I will await your reply anxiously. Thankyou. Answer: Praise be to Allaah. It is not permissible for your sister to marry this man unless two conditions are fulfilled: He must enter Islam. Your father must agree because he is her guardian who is responsible for arranging her marriage. If either of these conditions are not fulfilled, then try to stop this evil from happening, whatever it takes. 252

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And Allaah is the source of strength. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 1493: Ruling on marrying young women Question: I need to know, when did the Holy Prophet get married to Hazrat Aisha, there have been claims on newsgroups that the Holy Prophet was a pedophile. I want enough information to be able to answer such allegations. I need to know everything about this particular marriage, quoting sources. Wa-alaikum Answer: Praise be to Allaah. The answer to your question may be found in the ahaadeeth of Saheeh al-Bukhaari and the commentary of al-Haafiz al-‘Asqallaani, which are quoted below: ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married me when I was six years old. Then we came to Madeenah and stayed in Bani al-Haarith ibn Khazraj. I fell ill and my hair started to fall out (due to the illness; then it grew back thick again). My mother Umm Roomaan came to me whilst I was on a swing and my friends were with me. She shouted for me and I came to her, not knowing what she wanted. She took me by the hand and led me to the door of the house. I was out of breath and 253

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we waited until I had calmed down, then she took some water and wiped my face and head, then took me inside. There were some women of the Ansaar in the house, and they said: “ ‘Alaa al-khayri wa’l-baraka wa ‘ala khayri taa’ir (blessings, best wishes, etc).” My mother handed me over to them and they tidied me up, then suddenly the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was there. It was mid-morning, and they handed me over to him. At that time I was nine years old.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 3605). ‘Urwah said: “Khadeejah died three years before the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) migrated to Madeenah. He stayed alone for two years or thereabouts, then he married ‘Aa’ishah when she was six years old, and consummated the marriage when she was nine years old.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 3607) The phrase “he married ‘Aa’ishah” means that the marriage contract was drawn up; the marriage was consummated later on, when she was nine. Muslim reports from al-Zuhri, from ‘Urwah, that ‘Aa’ishah said that she was taken to him when she was nine years old, and she took her toys with her. He died when she was eighteen years old. Muslim also reports a similar account from ‘Aa’ishah via al-Aswad. He reports from ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Urwah from his father that ‘Aa’ishah said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married me in Shawwaal and consummated the marriage with me in Shawwaal.” ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) married her when she was six years old and consummated the marriage when she was nine years old, and she stayed 254

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with him for nine years.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4738) Al-Bukhaari calls this chapter of his Saheeh “Baab inkaah al-rajul wuldahu (or waladahu) al-sighaar (Chapter on a man marrying off his young children).” The fact that Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ”. . . and for those who have no courses [periods] [(i.e., they are still immature) their ‘iddah is three months likewise, except in case of death] . . .” [al-Talaaq 65:4] is an indication that it is permissible to marry girls below the age of adolescence. This is a good understanding, but the aayah makes no specific mention of either the father or the young girl. It could be said that the basic principle concerning marrying children is that it is forbidden unless there is specific evidence (daleel) to indicate otherwise. The hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah states that her father Abu Bakr married her off before the age of puberty, but there is no other evidence apart from that, so the rule applies to all other cases. Al- Muhallab said: “[The scholars] agreed that it is permissible for a father to marry off his young virgin daughter, even though it is not usually the case to have intercourse with such a young woman.” (The above was summarized from Fath al-Baari Sharh ‘ala Saheeh al-Bukhaari) In summary, then, it is permitted to contract marriage with a young girl and to hand her over to her husband to stay with him before she reaches adolescence. As for consummating the marriage, this does not happen until she is physically able for it. Thus the matter becomes quite clear. Do you see anything wrong with a man living with his young wife in one house, bringing her up and teaching her, but delaying consummation until she is ready for it? We ask Allaah to show us truth and falsehood and to make each clear. And Allaah knows best. 255

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Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 661: Marriage contract without witnesses must be repeated Question: Is a person married to another if they both say “We accept each other as man and wife, having Allah as our witness,” with no other witnesses present, and later having a celebration, telling everyone that they are married? Answer: Praise be to Allah. The Prophet (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) said: “There is no marriage without a wali (guardian) and two witnesses.” (It is a saheeh hadith because of corroborating reports: Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, no. 1858). Imam al-Tirmidhi, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “The correct opinion is that narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas, who said that there is no marriage without clear evidence… Acting in accordance with that, the scholars among the Companions of the Prophet (Peace & Blessings of Allaah be upon Him) and the Taabi‘een and others who followed them said that there is no marriage without witnesses. (Jaami‘ al-Tirmidhi, 4/235). If the couple referred to in the question did not follow the above, they must repeat the marriage, this time with a guardian and two witnesses. And Allah knows best. 256

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Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 389: Wali of Muslimah if her parents are kuffaar Question: Assalaammu’alaikum, I come from a muslim family and was brought up with Islamic faith. Although, I have been through a stage in my life which I call the “dark stage” of my life, in which I was involved with “jahiliyah” practices for some years (yes, those irresponsible and sinful acts). Alhamdulillah Allah has blessed me with guidance and brought me to His straight path again. Since that time, I have been having a relationship with a christian girlfriend, who Alhamdulillah has accepted Islam just recently, by Allah’s will. We plan to be wedded soon after we are settled. One problem is that she comes from a devout Christian family, not to mention her father being a christian priest. Ever since her family found out about our involvement, they have tried almost everything to part us, we haven’t told them about my girlfriend’s conversion though. Right now, our relationship has reached a point where she is willing to oppose her family and runaway from them eventually. Even though we know it will be hard to go through, my girlfriend and I really love each other. As I understand, the Islamic law requires that in marriage, a woman should be accompanied by a “wali”, which to my knowledge, should come from her family. My first question, can our plan to marry without her family’s consent be in accordance with Islamic law? And second, if it can, who can be her “wali?”, since not 257

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one of her family member agree with our relationship. Thank you, assalaammu’alaikum. Answer: Al-hamdu lillaah. First, I offer thanks to Allaah for his grace in having guided you to the path of truth after experiencing a dark journey through ‘jahiliyyah’, a journey into ignorance and meaninglessness. Allaah guides to his truth whomever he wills. At this point of your life, as an expression of gratitude for Allaah’s blessing, you should carry out your duties towards him and desist from the actions that gain his wrath. In fact, Allaah, at this point in your life, must take priority over everything else. You further ought to make up for what you missed in the previous part of your life, to double your efforts in performing worship and to haste in doing good deeds. Secondly, since this lady in question has converted to Islam, thanks to Allaah, none of her kaafir family members can act as a guardian (wali) of her interests; no kaafir can act in this capacity over a Muslim. If there is a Muslim with some authority in your area over the affairs of the Muslim community, then he can act in this capacity, based on the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) hadeeth: “No marriage contract can be concluded without the presence of a Wali. A Sultan (authority figure) can act as a Wali for those without one.” (see Ibn Majah and Imam Ahmad, Hadith number 1880; also in Salih al-Jaami’, hadeeth number 7556.) If there is no authoritative Muslim person, then one should refer to the community Muslim leader or any Muslim who is just (‘aadil), respected, and of high character, such as 258

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the director of the Islamic center or its imam, to conclude the marriage contract of this sister, with her consent. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 1077: A man accepting Islam can remain married to Christian wife Question: I have been considering accepting Islam for a number of years now. However, I am married to a devout Mormon (LDS) woman, and have ... children, whom I have promised to raise in her religion. My question has two parts: First, what is the position of a man accepting Islam with a Christian wife, and practicing Islam independently of her, and Second, what of a promise to raise my children in a religion other than Islam. Obviously, I would seek to expose them to Islam, but I am wondering about things such as supporting her desire to have them attend her church, etc.Thanks very much, (name witheld). Answer: Dear (name witheld), As-salaamu ‘ala man ittaba’a al-huda (peace be upon those who follow the true guidance). I was delighted to learn of your serious consideration and possible intention to accept the Islamic religion. No doubt that step would be the 259

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greatest thing in the entire NN years of your life. This step is the one that will protect you from the everlasting punishment of Hell and open to you the path to Heaven after death and will result in success and happiness in this life and the hereafter. I advise you to hasten with your decision and do not hesitate and postpone. You seem to me to be of sound wisdom that will lead you the path of truth by the will of God (Allaah). As for your first question, it is permissible in the Islamic religion for a Muslim to marry a woman from the People of the Book (Christain or Jew) if she is chaste (i.e. of high moral character) and virtuous, as Allaah has stated in the noble Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning of verse number 5 in the chapter entitled “Al-Maa’ida,” The Table): “This day are (all) things Good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time, when you give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues (girlfriends or lovers)...” Based on this verse, your marriage contract will remain valid if you accept Islaam and become a Muslim, and it will not require renewal. Your remaining with your current wife is permissible as long as she is virtuous and chaste in marriage. As for your second question, the child in Islamic law must follow the Muslim among his or her parents, and it is the Muslim parent’s right and responsibility to ensure his or her proper upbringing, guidance, and supervision. Your statement that you would seek to expose your children to Islaam is a wise and judicious foresight. And we hope 260

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that with the passing of time that they will be convinced of this religion and implement it in their lives. No doubt that you will face some difficulty in convincing your wife to raise your children in the Islamic religion considering the promise you have made to her. However, the use of wisdom and gentle judgment will aid you, God willing, in overcoming this difficulty. This is important especially considering that it is expected that you will exert a concentrated effort in inviting your wife to Islam, since if she accepts it, the problem will be solved from its roots. In any case, and no matter what the results, the first step towards success will be your accepting the religion of Islaam yourself. We pray to God (Allaah) the Almighty and Magnificent that He eases your affairs and brings you success in finding the path of truth and that he guides your entire famliy to Islam. I would be more than happy to dicuss any other questions or concerns you may have. Salaam. Peace. Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com) 60: Woman’s right to refuse marriage to someone Question: I have a question for my friend. She is 17 years old and they just moved here from their home country and her guardians and mom want her to marry her cousin who lived in their same house back home but this girl really refuses to marry him because she dislikes for some reason and she is begging and crying in front of her mother not 261

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to make her marry him. This girl is saying she will not be happy with him My question is does any girl have the RIGHT to say no for her marriage if she does not like the man? This girl is Islamic and going to school and she doesn’t know anybody to talk to but she really doesn’t want to marry him and her mother is utterly pressuring her by telling her she will die and she will be destroyed if she doesn’t marry this guy and her mother is telling her that nobody will marry her because she is not beautiful and rich. Sorry it was long question but please reply me as soon as possible. Answer: Al-hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah). This situation about which this sister is asking is a common one and occurs often as a result of a clash of desires between parents and their daughter. It could be for a benefit or interest the mother or father sees and the young woman doesn’t, and each regards the issue from a different perspective or with a particular consideration. And perhaps the opinion of the parents is the appropriate and correct one as a result of their prior trials and longer experience in life, and perhaps the woman sometimes looks to the appearance of the groom more than anything else, whereas the parents may look to other considerations, such as his family status, or his long-term career or employment. Of course none of this means that the woman’s opinion isn’t sometimes more correct and preferable, particularly when the opinion of the parents stems from a benefit they may realize if the marriage is accomplished, and they do not actually make the priority their daughter who is the most important thing in this issue. And while being vigilant in advising you of the importance of obeying one’s parents and struggling 262

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with oneself to realize their wishes and desires and giving their opinion the priority, the point must clearly be made that the following two hadeeth from the Prophet (peace be upon him) must be abided by and carried out, as within them are the complete answer to your question and questions from others in similar situations: The first hadeeth: If he whose character and deen (practice of religion) pleases you, approaches you in marriage, then marry him, for if you don’t, their will be fitna in the land and vast corruption. (Tirmidhi and others, see Sunan Tirmidhi #1085 and it is hassan (reliable) as per Sahih ul-Jaami’ #270). (“fitna” here can be understood to refer to the temptation for fornication, enmity and the cutting off of relations among the people and relatives, and the spreading of hatred) The second: Buraida (may Allah be pleased with him) said that a young woman came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son (i.e. her cousin) in order to raise his standing among the people,” so the Prophet (peace be upon him) put the matter in her hands (i.e. asserted that the validity of the marriage is conditioned on her approval and negated by her refusal). So she said, “I authorize and endorse what he has done but I wanted women to know that fathers cannot force their will in these matters.” And it was narrated by Nisaa’I via Abdullah ibn Buraida via Aa’isha that a young woman came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his standing among the people and I am unwilling (to agree to it)”, so she said, “Sit until the Prophet (peace be upon him) comes.” So the Prophet (peace be upon 263

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him) came and she informed him of the situation, so he sent for her father and invited him (over) and asserted that the matter is in the bride’s hands. So she said, “Oh Prophet of Allah I have authorized and endorsed what my father has done, but I wanted to know if women had a say in the matter or not.” (Sunan al-Nisaa’I, Kitaab alNikaah min Sunanihi and it is sahih). I ask Allah for you success and guidance to that in which there is blessings for you and your family, and may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad . Islam Q&A Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

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